


Child of the Fox

by biosurge



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Half-Sibling Incest, Multi, minor crossover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-03-10 23:42:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 62,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3307532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biosurge/pseuds/biosurge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Betrayal leads to Discovery. With new knowledge of self, what will Naruto do about those that threaten the Elemental Nations, from within AND without?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Revelations!

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Foxes Tale](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/96923) by Chridz. 



> Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of the Naruto franchise. No profit is made from this work, and is intended for entertainment purposes only. Please support the official release.
> 
> Originally posted on FF.net by Ignisami, which is my FF.net account.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

**Version 2.0 (March 2015): The first half has been almost completely rewritten. Details to the second half have been added, and the entire thing has been cleaned up to remove perspective changes that felt jarring to me.  
**

**Child of the Fox**

The first time she reached out to Naruto was when he was three.

Three years ago, she had been sealed inside Naruto through the most ridiculously complex sealing procedure she had ever seen, and that was saying rather a lot. Her late husband was probably the most intelligent human to walk the Northern Lands, known to its inhabitants as the Elemental Nations, and his seal filled her with pride, despite its function.

Her husband had designed the seal in case someone found out what she was and took advantage of it, completing it _just_ in time for it to be complete two days before it had to be used. Through the intricate seal, she could see through the eyes of her son, hear through his ears, and feel through his skin. Thankfully, that was the limit of the seal's passive interaction with her son's body and mind, for she didn't think she would appreciate it much if she caught every stray thought that entered her son's mind, _especially_ once he entered puberty.

It had honestly surprised her how humane Naruto was treated on the whole. She had heard stories about the treatment of Jinchūriki, especially in Mist, Rock, and Waterfall, though there had been rumours lately coming from Sand that they had a Jinchūriki and that they were going to train him to be a weapon. Which meant social isolation, possible assassination attempts, and likely much worse.

All Naruto faced was neglect, and a portion, small though it was, of it was only half-hearted. The matron had clearly wanted some form of revenge, but she had enough sense, or incentive courtesy of the Sandaime, to treat Naruto as she would any other troublemaker. It wasn't what she wanted, but faced with the alternatives she took what she could get.

Her current situation arose when the orphanage had a trip to the Konoha markets, to introduce the younger children to the concept of currency. There weren't enough employees to keep the rest of the children inside under supervision, so the matron took the entire orphanage populace with her to the market.

Through the bustle, and matronly prejudice towards Naruto, her son was left without supervision in a market without being taught the concepts of 'respect the property of others' and 'currency'. So, he did what any child would do in his situation, and many still did even after being taught those two core tenets of civilized society, and grabbed a loaf of _very_ good-looking bread from the stand belonging to the baker that was generally considered the best in the Konoha market.

The baker himself looked at Naruto cradling the loaf of bread and nodded once before looking away, and she mentally added his name to the list of people she would give preferential treatment later. It was curious that simple acknowledgment of his existence could move her to such steps, but such was humane treatment for a Jinchūriki. Being treated with disdain was probably the best reaction they could hope for.

One of the supporting staff of the baker, who she vaguely recognized as the baker's mother, did not agree with her son's decision to ignore Naruto essentially stealing the bread, even though he had the baker's permission after the fact. A scene she felt would not be out-of-place in the Hidden Mist or Rock took place inside Konoha when Naruto's self-preservation instincts kicked in and he bolted to the nearby park.

The elderly mother chased after Naruto with a thick branch held in her hand, easily capable of doing his three-year old frame harm. This particular woman hadn't even suffered that much at her rampage twelve years ago, otherwise referred to as 'the reason she was sealed up'. This woman still had her son, her daughter-in-law, and two grandchildren, if the little brats running around the stand were any indication. Never the less, she had apparently decided to take revenge on Naruto, taking the opportunity presented to her that, in her perception, allowed her to beat up the closest thing to herself the woman would ever get; Naruto.

Imagine her shock when it turned out that Naruto proved capable of keeping up and well on track to outlasting the elderly woman who was easily sixty years his senior. She suspected that aspects of Naruto's genes that did not express in herself or her husband were responsible. From her side came the stamina, for the Uzumaki had always been a clan with extreme amounts of it. The best example was probably her own brother, Hirai. When he was fifteen he ran from Konoha to Uzushio without pause, a distance of roughly six hundred kilometers, though he was considered to be an extreme, well into the 97th percentile, even among the clan. This did not explain Naruto's speed, however. Three year old children should not be capable of outrunning a sixty-something civilian, no matter how out of practice the civilian in question was.

That part was probably her late husband's genetic influence. There had been rumours that his father, Naruto's paternal grandfather, was an illegitimate child of that clan with the Swift release bloodline, and it appeared that at least parts of it had activated in Naruto. She'd have to examine Naruto's genetics later.

The pair turned onto the slope of one of the steeper hills in this park, and Naruto was now actually gaining on the woman. Not that swiftly, true, but he was. The woman recognized what was happening and decided to take a good swing at Naruto while he was still in her reach.

Naturally, he disagreed with the woman's intent to bash his brains to pulp, and dove to avoid such a fate. Unfortunately, he had been running rather close to the edge of the path, and had miscalculated how far from the edge he was. As a result, he tumbled down the hill clutching his bread in his right arm, his left stretched out in front of him.

Tumbling down the slope of the hill, Naruto tried to stop himself by using his left arm and his legs as brakes, but he was simply going too fast for his young body to stop. His ankle twisted because of the sheer speed of his small frame, and a rock scraped his arm as he saw a tree get closer and closer...

She decided to take action. Her husband had planned for such an eventuality, knowing how Jinchūriki were usually treated, but they had planned on Naruto being told that he was a Jinchūriki. Since he wasn't, there was little she could do but flood the seal with her yōki, shout her advice and hope for the best. The subconscious mind was like a fortress, and Naruto's in particular was a veritable bastion.

" _ **Curl up and roll!**_ _ **"**_ she yelled after she had flooded it with as much yōki as she could.

She watched breathlessly – literally, the action had taken a lot out of her – as Naruto's eyes swiveled right and left to look for the source of her voice, and she looked on helplessly as he eventually came to the conclusion

Naruto did exactly that and tucked his limbs in tightly. This action had its own downsides, however, as the roll caused him to speed up, hurtling toward the tree at the base of the hill at an even faster pace than before, eventually slamming into the tree with his back, blacking out from the pain.

She decided that sleep sounded pretty damn awesome right about now.

– – – –

The second, and third, time she reached out to Naruto, he was eight and had been at the Konoha Shinobi Academy for two years.

She felt a foreign chakra invade Naruto's system, and she immediately tried to assess what was happening. No one in the years since her sealing had outright attacked her son, preferring to ignore his very existence, and she hoped that this streak would not be broken today.

She sighed as she recognized the chakra as Uchiha chakra, from the distinctive taint that was unique to Sharingan wielders. Hate was too soft a word to describe the Uchiha sentiment towards her son, and for good reason.

An Uchiha was at the source of her rampage, eight years ago. She was pretty certain that the Sharingan eyes that appeared in place of her own, the tell-tale hallmark of deep Sharingan hypnosis and one of the reasons it was rarely used, led to the village ostracizing the Uchiha as much as they were capable. Truth be told, she had been theorizing about the reason she had snapped out of the hypnosis within a month after being sealed up ever since it happened – deep Sharingan hypnosis was supposed to last until the caster lifted it and not even the death of the caster could stop it –, but without access to her late husband's notes on the seal that imprisoned her she couldn't make much headway.

Even worse, with Naruto as he was at that moment, she couldn't help him at all beyond shouting one-liner warnings at him, and she decided it would be prudent to wait and see until he really needed it. Thankfully, she _did_ have access to his regenerative factor – again, the limitations of the seal –, which would allow her to ascertain that whatever happened, Naruto would survive.

Her ears, through his, picked up the faint sound of displacing air. She did some mental math on trajectory vectors and velocity, and desperately sent youki into the seal.

" _ **Dodge right!**_ _ **"** _ she shouted. Naruto was so absorbed in whatever he was doing that he almost didn't react in time – recognizing the voice from years earlier –, and paid the price when a kunai found its way into his shoulder. It was better than the knife landing in his chest as the thrower had intended, but not by a whole lot. She heard a voice berating another for almost robbing them of their chance to pay it back for everything. Her eyes narrowed, though a small part of her was pleased it had taken so long for anyone to take action against her son, proving once again that Konoha was the most decent of the Hidden Villages. She was sure that something like this would have been a weekly, if not daily, sight in Kiri or Iwa.

The next moment, Naruto was hit on the back of his head and blackness filled his vision.

When sight returned to the Jinchūriki and his tenant, they found themselves in an abandoned apartment in the slums of Konoha, close to where his own apartment was after the Sandaime gave him permission to live on his own after the orphanage burned down when he was six.

"What's going on?" he shouted to the throng of villagers surrounding him, including a few with freaky red eyes. Naruto did not recognize it, but it did not escape the woman in his gut that the civilian's eyes were partly glazed over. H _ypnosis... but not a very deep one,_ _and likely Sharingan-induced, given the presence of the eight Uchiha here_ _. Probably just to bring out emotions hidden and lower inhibitions. It would have been enough for most of the village, truth be told._

She could see that they had various weapons with them; daggers, pitchforks, kunai, torches... she didn't like the implications of the weapons with Naruto's bound body in an abandoned, out-of-the-way apartment in the village, and the likelihood of lowered inhibitions through hypnosis.

The best hypnosis, Sharingan or otherwise, was when the target secretly wanted to do what you bade them to do.

"We're getting payback, demon!" one of them shouted. _Oh please, that was so cliché it made me want to hurl._ She felt her son's brow furrow, likely thinking on what he was supposed to have done to be on the receiving end of such a statement.

"But I didn't do anything!" he yelled back. Naturally, the civilians didn't appreciate this statement, and the anger in their eyes grew.

"Don't fool us demon, you killed my parents and wife!" the same man had shouted.

"And my sister!" another added. Soon, everyone was shouting their grievances against him, most of which revolved around him killing some members dear to him.

The mob worked itself into a frenzy and soon moved to strike him over and over again with the blades, clubs, and other assorted weaponry. Some of them took great delight in tormenting the child by holding burning torches to his torso.

She worked overtime in his gut to heal the damage as it was being done, but the wounds came far too fast for even Naruto's regeneration, accelerated by her yōki, to keep up. She steeled herself for what she was about to do. Reaching out again with such little time since the last – barely half an hour – would severely drain her, and it would prevent her from reinforcing his regeneration unless she pushed herself to the brink of death.

Better her than him. She gathered her yōki, and once again flooded the seal.

" _ **Flare your chakra as high as it can go!**_ _ **"**_ she yelled. She felt him trying to comply, for he knew that flaring his chakra made the man he referred to as 'jiji' – known to the rest of Konoha as the Sandaime Hokage – appear ever since he had accidentally flared it during leaf-sticking practice and he came teleporting in with a squad of the black-clad masked ninja that he secretly called 'the zoo'.

She knew that it was a tall order, for he still required a bit of concentration to flare his chakra, and the mob wouldn't let up their stabbing and burning for five seconds so he could focus and flare. Right as she finished that thought, as if the gods were listening, the mob soon stepped back to admire their handiwork. The young child's body was littered with swiftly-healing cuts, bruises, and blackened areas all around, and they smiled at each other at a job well done.

She felt the chakra build up, Naruto having grasped the moment to focus his chakra, and go far past the point of flaring and into the domain of _pulsing_. The difference between the two as far as noticeability goes is minimal, but there is one key difference in their effect. Flares are fully internal while pulses are external projections of chakra. This particular pulse was dense enough that the civilians fainted on the spot – an achievement even for people with demons sealed inside them – while the few Uchiha present started screaming and clutching at their eyes. Despite her exhaustion, she sniggered. They shouldn't have activated their eyes around a chakra powerhouse like her son.

She felt the chakra of the Sandaime, and four unknown ones, arrive in the apartment. She smiled and laid herself on the floor of the cage that represented the seal.

Her eyelids drifted downwards, and before they had finished their journey, snores filled the metaphysical air.

– – – –

The pulse traveled outward and washed over half of Konoha, dispelling various genjutsu that kept people's vanity intact or hidden entrances obscured. Neither visiting nobles or ANBU were all that pleased with events, though the latter just saw it as yet another revealed flaw in their security; even if the pulse was rather large and powerful, ANBU-level genjutsu, especially those obscuring the entrance to their headquarters, were supposed to be sturdier than that. In his office in the tallest building in town, Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Sandaime Hokage of Konohagakure no Sato started and swiftly divined the origin and source of the pulse. With two handsigns – one for the ANBU, one for his chakra –, the office was empty the next moment.

– – – –

"Naruto-kun!" the aged leader of the village called out upon seeing the mess that was the apartment. He strode over to the young blonde lying in a bloody mess on the floor and vowed that the ones responsible would pay. ' _Naruto-kun, I have well and truly failed you.'_

"ANBU, why are they screaming?" he asked. Surely a chakra pulse couldn't do that or it would be used more often in the ninja life.

Cat, the only one of this squad proficient in medical jutsu, knelt next to a villager and ran a diagnostic. "The civilians have been knocked out by a dense wave of chakra, similar to what is employed for knocking out unruly patients, except on a larger scale," she replied, her voice muffled by the mask. "As for the Uchiha... the readings show they had their eyes active when the pulse hit them. It's not hard to imagine what happened." Without prompting, she continued, "there's no sign of Kyūbi-chakra anywhere, Hokage-sama."

The Hokage hummed. This was good news as he could pretend that the ANBU were the ones that disabled these villagers. Despite the presence of several Uchiha, it was a story that would be believed. At least, it would as soon as he mentioned the ANBU.

"What went on in this room is hereby classified. The official story will be that we felt the pulse and flickered into the apartment, after which we disabled everyone and invited them to the courtesy of T&I for performing unauthorized experiments," he said, emphasizing that this was not to leave the persons gathered in the room. He didn't necessarily need to give the ANBU the official story after classifying it, but he always held the belief that subordinates that knew a little of what was going on were less annoying subordinates, as well as less likely to go rogue as they felt included in the workings of the village. It could backfire spectacularly of course, as the Orochimaru situation had exhibited, but on the whole it worked splendidly. It never hurt to periodically reinforce that some things were to _remain_ secret, however. "Anyone gathered here discussing with others what went on in this apartment that clashes with the official story will find themselves a... _personal guest_ of Mitarashi Anko, with clearance to not hold back."

The gathered ANBU couldn't help but shiver. Mitarashi Anko was recovered only a year ago from the clutches of Orochimaru's lab in Sea Country, but the sadism the newest Assistant Head of the Torture and Investigations department displayed was already legendary, though her promotion so soon after she returned from the clutches of Orochimaru ruffled numerous feathers... but no one could deny she was _bad_ at the job. _No one_ wanted to become a guest of an Anko with carte blanche to do whatever she wanted. Death was preferable.

"Understood, Hokage-sama!" the four half-yelled, breaking the ANBU's vaunted professionalism and stoicism from the mere suggestion of spending quality one on one time with Anko.

The aged Hokage nodded, satisfied that he had impressed upon them the need to keep this silent. "As far as these..." he trailed off, looking for the right word. " _Creatures_ , are concerned; tell Anko and Ibiki that they have carte blanche to do what is necessary to find out how deep this goes, I doubt they did something like this on their own. If it's needed, they can order Inoichi out of retirement. I'll put it in writing when I get to my office, after I drop Naruto-kun off at the hospital."

They nodded to show their understanding and the five flickered out as one, each carrying one or two persons as cargo. The only one of those carried out that was not screaming was an unconscious eight year old.

As the Hokage flickered into his office from the hospital a few minutes after having dropped Naruto off, leaving the child in the care of the most trustworthy doctor he knew, he heaved a sigh of relief. Many wounds were merely superficial - or at least, they were _now_ \- and apparently the Kyūbi chakra was adept at healing even third-degree burns for the large blackened welts were shrinking slowly as he watched.

His mind went into overdrive. He had always been looking, even before his retirement, for a reason to order a village-wide Yamanaka mind-sweep, but nothing came up. This was an opportunity for a long-awaited pruning of his forces without attracting undue suspicion. He may consider Naruto his grandson in all but blood, but the fact remained he was the village's Jinchūriki.

With a grim look, he put the orders to paper. For the next four months - the longest he could make this without unduly disrupting business - Konoha was officially at war with itself.

– – – –

The day it all made sense, Uzumaki Naruto was twelve and had just failed the graduation exam for the third time.

Life for the blond Jinchūriki had improved following the ambush at his apartment. When he had been released from the hospital, jiji had introduced him to Kurenai-nee, whose request for guardianship – misplaced years before in the administrative nightmare that was reconstruction – had finally been found and approved. The civilians were still as cold to him as ever, but now he had someone who actually cared for him in his life. The serenity of his new life with Kurenai-nee, even though he technically still had his own apartment, he spent practically all his days in the one Kurenai-nee owned, lasted for all of a week before Anko-nee burst through the window with an exasperated Yūgao-nee and Hayate-nii in tow for a chat with Kurenai-nee, and found him inside while Kurenai-nee had been out for groceries.

They hit it off like two peas in a pod. The rest, as they say, is history.

This particular day, a brilliant Monday in May on which the greatest mystery surrounding the child's life would be revealed, started as many other Academy days did. That is, Uzumaki Naruto slept through his alarm clock and woke up ten minutes before he was supposed to leave for the Academy, instead of the planned thirty. Oftentimes, Kurenai-nee would be there to wake him up in time, but she was an active ninja and wasn't slated to return until late in the night. Anko-nee, Yūgao-nee, and Hayate-nii were often here, almost more often than in their own apartments, but they had lives and places of their own, in addition to being active ninja themselves. As such, today was a day that Naruto, like the first two years of the Academy, woke up to an otherwise empty apartment.

Unlike most other days, Naruto was tense. Today was the day of his third graduation attempt, and if he failed to pass today he would be kicked from the shinobi program. He had to pass, or he would never become Hokage!

He dressed rapidly and sprinted out of the apartment with a steaming bowl of ramen in his hands, thanking his past self for convincing Kurenai-nee to keep a few in stock for situations just like these. Five minutes later he ran into the classroom, greedily sucking in air, exactly one minute before the test was about to start, and saw the price he paid for his relative tardiness, as he usually was present ten minutes before the start of the day, by seeing his usual chair near Uchiha Sasuke – a stuck-up prick but he liked to think that there was some form of rivalry going on between them – taken by a girl with long blonde hair three shades paler than his own. Sasuke expressed his dissatisfaction with his tardiness by aiming a very intense glare at him.

He flinched slightly from the intensity of the glare and looked around the classroom for an empty seat. There were three left; one at the back row between Kiba and Shikamaru, one near the middle between two civilians he didn't know, and one at the window next to that girl with the weird pale eyes that always fainted whenever he approached her. He was _fairly_ sure it wasn't something malice-induced, but it was unsettling regardless. He strode over to the window, since then he wouldn't be distracted by the not-so-subtle hostility emanating from the civilians, or the general air of laziness emanating from Shikamaru which was sure to affect his eventual score.

The girl's cheeks turned red as he sat in the chair next to her, thoroughly confusing Naruto once again. Was she all right? It would be bad for her if she had a fever the day of the exam, wouldn't it?

Before he could voice his concern a loud bang resounded through the room, the poor door thrown open by their teacher and his assistant, Iruka-sensei and Mizuki-sensei, both unusually tardy as well. The chatter in the class died down immediately without Iruka-sensei having to perform his trademark technique, often named the 'Big Head no Jutsu' by students and teachers alike.

"Good morning students," Iruka-sensei greeted, receiving a chorus of 'hello' and 'good morning Iruka-sensei' in return. He grabbed an armful of paper and moved through the class to place a copy of the exam on their desks. "Today is Examination Day, as you all know. The test is split into several parts; the written portion, taijutsu, an obstacle course, weapons, and jutsu. The Basic Three will be asked. Additional jutsu may earn extra credit if performed correctly. All areas grant a base maximum of one hundred points each, and a minimum of four hundred and twenty-five points is required for a pass with no single section below eighty points."

Naruto slumped, eyes downcast. He was sure he'd be able to pass the written portion this time, but the damned Bunshin held him up every time. If he knew two extra jutsu his failure to perform the Bunshin would bring his score down to four out of five, rather than two out of three. Eighty versus sixty-six. He'd managed to get the instructions for two jutsu available to Genin, the **Suiton: Teppōdama** and the **Fūton: Daitoppa** , but he suspected that the person who had given them to him was hoping he'd kill himself with them, as had nearly happened the first time he tried the Daitoppa. He had managed to keep it hidden from Kurenai-nee, or he was sure that he still wouldn't be able to sit down properly from the ass-kicking she and Anko would have given him. He had the Teppōdama down after two months – water came so much easier to him than wind for some reason – and a lot of effort, but if he flunked the Bunshin it'd hardly matter. He didn't think that flunking one of the base requirements and replacing it with a single extracurricular jutsu – even if perfectly performed – was going to make him pass. If only he'd managed to get the Daitoppa down. Briefly, he cursed the stickler for rules that was Umino Iruka-sensei.

Even if he aced everything else, he would likely fail again. 475 out of 500 points, well above the minimum 425 required to pass, but one category was only 75 instead of the minimum 80? Sorry, Iruka-sensei would say, you fail.

"You have two hours, you may begin," Iruka-sensei said, bringing him out of his depressing thoughts. Sighing softly to himself, he started writing.

The exam itself was only five sheets of paper, though both sides were printed. Very few people figured out the trick to getting a perfect score on this exam that covered Konoha history, mathematics, shinobi code and conduct, chakra and jutsu theory, and a host of other subjects they'd covered over the years. The trick was to answer in the same style as the question. If the question was polite and/or formal, full credit was only given for a polite and/or formal answer. Likewise with rude and/or informal questions.

It was just one more way of looking beneath the surface, a very popular phrase around the Shinobi Academy, and indeed among Konoha ninja as a whole, ever since Hatake Kakashi's mandatory year-long stint as a teacher three years ago; the ability to read a situation, preferably in little time. In this case that situation was politeness and formality, a skill that would be invaluable if they were hired as an escorts. Most clients in general responded better to a shinobi that matched their own mannerisms. There was flattery in imitation, and most clients responded well to such. A happy client meant more business, and business was the name of the shinobi game.

"You have five minutes remaining," came Iruka's voice suddenly just as he was finishing the last question. He smiled grimly; if he aced everything but the Bunshin he may appeal to jiji to set him a replacement task for merit promotion. He'd intended to do so last year, but only got 85 points on the written exam, 66 on the jutsu, and full marks on everything else. To be eligible for a replacement task for merit promotion he needed to score more than 460 points _and_ have the lowest score at least a sixty-five. He'd missed the cut-off by nine points.

"Your time is up. Turn your exams face-down and meet me outside in ten minutes. Failure to do so will be met with disqualification," Iruka said before walking out of the classroom. Immediately after he said that, soft chatter rose between the members of class. Unlike like last year, none of them had broken into tears and ran from the class, but that didn't necessarily mean that they were any more confident that they passed the exam, and thought this grace period was enough to prod their friends for one or two answers before moving out.

Far from subtle, but entirely expected. A shinobi was expected to grasp any and all opportunities for the best mission results. This was, of course, the reason for the time limit. Not long enough to make utter failures into passes, but narrow failures into narrow passes was entirely within the realm of possibility. Naruto doubted that they realized that was the intent, it took him until his second try to figure it out. No doubt Shikamaru already had the entire test pegged and pulled an eighty because any more was just too troublesome, as he would say.

He could've sworn that the written exam was easier last year, though. Not in the last place because there was a rather subtle genjutsu on the paper that he had to covertly dispel, and he wasn't very good at covertly dispelling. Fortunately there wasn't a rule against flaring chakra or he'd have been in trouble.

Naruto had little difficulty with the obstacle course or the taijutsu portion of the exam, though the glint in Iruka-sensei's eye as he once again aced the taijutsu portion was unsettling. As he walked back inside for the jutsu portion of the exam, he racked his brain. Iruka hadn't degenerated into hating him again, did he? He was fairly sure Iruka hadn't as the man had bought him ramen not even two days ago and he'd noticed nothing wrong then. He was sure he would notice if something was wrong, though he supposed Iruka-sensei was a chūnin for a reason.

He sat back in his earlier seat next to the girl with weird pale eyes – Hinata wasn't it? – as he silently though if he should give the Daitoppa a try regardless of his success at the jutsu. If he flunked the Bunshin as expected and aced the rest, including the Teppōdama and Daitoppa, he'd be able to scrape up enough compensation for excluding the Bunshin and pass regardless as long as he passed the rest, which he had done twice now – except for the written portion which he only passed for the first time last year – so he was confident that he could pass.

A soft voice in the back of his mind asked why he had not asked Kurenai-nee or Anko-nee for help, but he quashed it. Now was not the time to dwell on such things. "Uzumaki Naruto!"

– – – –

"Uzumaki Naruto!" Iruka called out after Yamanaka Ino had passed, startling the blond. Iruka suppressed a snigger as his favourite student's reaction.

Naruto wore a confident grin on his face as he walked to Iruka, but Iruka could read his student better than most and knew that it was merely a façade for nervousness. If it had been a truly confident grin for Naruto's standards, the tips of his lips would have curled upwards a minute amount more.

Iruka led Naruto into the room, glancing for a moment at the seals that lined the wall and floor. The rumour went that Uzumaki Kushina had personally grafted these seals, and he didn't find it that hard to believe when he considered their function. The seals had chakra patterns pre-programmed that would read the chakra used for jutsu performed within the circle on the floor, registering the vocal output to match the quantity of chakra stored against what was actually used. The seal on the wall then displayed a number, indicating how much excess chakra was consumed in the technique. For example, a score of 2 meant that the chakra used by the student matched the amount of chakra used if the foremost medic-nin, Densetsu no Tsunade, performed the same technique _twice_. There were some advanced techniques performed by either Tsunade-sama or genjutsu specialists, as well as basic clan techniques were added to the matrix to prevent political problems with shinobi clans.

For Academy students, scores of 1 to 3 were perfect marks, 4 to 7 were passes, and eight was the first failing mark.

Except for Naruto. He'd wondered why that was so, but for all his intelligence had drawn a blank on that question until today. He'd realized in the middle of Naruto's spar that Naruto's control was so atrocious because Naruto had _absurd_ amounts of chakra. When he came to that realization, Iruka almost slapped himself. _Why else_ would a score of _45_ still be a passing mark for Naruto?

He almost slapped himself _again_ for not realizing that this was the source of Naruto's problem with the Bunshin. The Bunshin was very chakra-sensitive, to the point that even ten percent extra chakra would destabilize the clone. So... what if they told Naruto to just create clones and go wild, instead of limiting the number to five? Would forty clones be the point at which all of them would be stable? A hundred? A thousand? Another solution would have been to introduce him to elemental Bunshin, but since he had just realized such, that didn't really help. He'd have to look into that, to be honest. He'd long prided himself on his intelligence, and to not realize such blatant evidence that lead to an obvious conclusion...

He felt pretty confident saying something foul was afoot.

He shook his head to get his thoughts back on track, he still had an exam to administer.

"Alright Naruto, I want you to perform the **Kawarimi on jutsu** , the **Henge no jutsu** , and the **Bunshin no Jutsu**. You are allowed to perform a single additional jutsu for extra credit," he said, watching Naruto's face fall at the extra sentence. It was obvious he had some extra jutsu planned, but regulations were regulations, even if these specific ones weren't in place last year. "Start with the **Kawarimi**."

He watched as Naruto flipped morosely, but swiftly by genin standards, through the handseals and commanded his chakra to allow him to switch positions with the chair. Three characters lit up behind him as he did so without any sort of smoke. Iruka and Mizuki were stunned to see that the twelve-year old with as much chakra as the Hokage more than fifty years his senior managed a score of 4, rather than last year's 11 or the 32 the year before that. The third character that had been lit by the array shed some light on the mystery, however hard it was to believe for the two teachers that he had stumbled on this version of the Kawarimi.

There were, in essence, two versions of the Kawarimi. The first would simply act as a high-speed double-ended slingshot, replacing a user with the chosen object, usually a log, through simple high-speed movement. The smaller the target object was, or rather how much it weighed compared to the user, determined the amount of chakra necessary for the jutsu and thus how much control was minimally required. For this reason they used a log weighing the exact average of the weight of the class, Akimichi excluded, and a separate log for any Akimichi. The chakra required to reinforce the body to not fall apart at those speeds was what truly limited people from spamming the Kawarimi, though the cost did decrease linearly with decreasing distance. For this reason, breeding animals for the express purpose of being Kawarimi-bait was a very popular and lucrative practice among shinobi and civilians alike.

The third character that lit up indicated that that Naruto had used the second version of the Kawarimi, usually only taught as an exercise for aspiring genjutsu specialists. Often named the True Kawarimi in texts, it was a space-time version that served as the basis of the famed Hiraishin no jutsu, not to be confused with the Raiton technique of the same vocalization. One meant Flying Thunder God, the other meant Lightning Rod. The latter was simply an annoying B-rank Raiton jutsu, the former was an army-killer that earned the Yondaime the title 'Konoha no Kiroii Senkō'. The True Kawarimi used an amount of chakra approximately triple that of the Standard Kawarimi to do the replacement itself, but required no chakra reinforcement to keep the body in one piece, nor was it halted in any way by walls. The only reason it wasn't taught beyond genjutsu and fūinjutsu specialists was the understanding of chakra required to not erase yourself from existence, similar to all time-space jutsu, and most people didn't really care about the intricacies of chakra as long as it did what they wanted it to do.

Apparently, for some people that understanding came instinctually. _I wonder why he didn't do this last year, though_ , Iruka mused. _He used just about the same amount of chakra_ _now as he did then._

Iruka nodded, suitably impressed by the student that had wormed his way into his heart three years ago. "Very good Naruto. Do you realize what you've just done?"

Naruto looked confused as he performed the jutsu once more, placing him back at his earlier position. "No, sensei. I don't."

"You used an advanced version of the **Kawarimi no Jutsu** , transforming it from a simple high-speed technique into a full-blown **Jikūkan Jutsu** , usually only taught to those who aspire to become genjutsu and fūinjutsu specialists because of the understanding of chakra it requires." He levelled a deadpan stare at Naruto. "You just did so on instinct."

"That's good, right?" Naruto asked apprehensively.

"That's extra credit worth, though I'll have to speak to the Hokage just how much extra credit."

Relief flooded Naruto's face, and Iruka felt his own spirits lighten at the change in mood. A morose Naruto was just... _wrong_ , somehow.

"Continuing on, please perform the **Henge no Jutsu**."

Naruto flipped through the second set of handseals with renewed vigour, almost reach Chuunin level handseal speed. With a puff of smoke to disguise the actual transformation, the chakra took on the shape that Naruto had in mind, the Sandaime Hokage Sarutobi Hiruzen in full Hokage regalia. The Hokage replica nodded sagely in an exact imitation of the person whose face Naruto now wore. "Good day, Iruka-kun," it said in a perfect imitation of the Hokage's voice, almost absently fiddling with his ever-present pipe.

"Good day, Hoka-," Iruka started to say before he caught himself. "Very, _very_ well done, Naruto-kun. You can change back now," Iruka said, thoroughly impressed by the quality of Naruto's transformation. Iruka looked at the seals for the score and scratched his head when he saw that the seals had given him a score of zero. _Zero_. _How in the world does someone not use chakra for what is obviously a chakra-fueled technique? He'd even gotten the minute details, like the way the right sleeve was folded just a bit higher than the left, correct._

When his student released the transformation to reveal his blonde locks to the world once more, he nodded in the fashion those that knew Iruka knew meant that the man had a mission.

"Please perform the **Bunshin no Jutsu** , and don't bother trying to restrain yourself to a set number of clones," Iruka said, drawing a curious glance from Mizuki.

"What are you doing, Iruka?" Mizuki asked softly.

"The seals indicate that he uses a lot of excess chakra with his techniques," Iruka replied just as softly. Naruto stopped to pay attention to what they were saying. _I wasn't aware that Naruto had such good ears._ _Man, how much have I let myself slip while in the Academy?_ "The illusionary clones are sensitive to even very small amounts of extra chakra, so I figured that instead of creating five clones as standard with extremely excessive amounts of chakra each, why not use the same amount of chakra to create forty clones? Or four hundred?"

"While I don't disagree with the line of thinking, the guidelines do say that the number of clones can't exceed five, Iruka," Mizuki replied.

Iruka frowned and grabbed his own instructor's manual. "Truly?" he wondered aloud as he flipped the pages. And lo, there it was under the Jutsu – Bunshin header; _Upon creating a number of Bunshin exceeding five the result is an immediate perfect fail for the student._ He sighed.

"Looks like you're right, Mizuki," Iruka said. "Looks like you're out of luck, Naruto. No more than five Bunshin are allowed."

Naruto sighed the sigh that could only come from long suffering, and Iruka knew that his first eight years of life definitely qualified for that. The four after that weren't nearly so bad, but the civilians still despised him and the shinobi mostly kept their distance except for Anko, Kurenai, and two shinobi he didn't recognize.

"Right," he said despondently as he went through the three handseals required for the technique.

With a poof and an absolutely atrocious amount of smoke – enough that Iruka was glad that the room was ventilated –, Naruto created exactly five Bunshin. They were fell things, though. Their skin had a reddish hue to it, blood-red lines crisscrossing over the surface, orange hair, and brilliant purple eyes. In light of their visual dissimilarity to their creator, the fact that they were on their knees puking up their guts was a minor inconvenience. The bright kanji displaying '68' didn't even matter anymore.

Iruka thought that the clones kind of looked like the Kyūbi if it had been given a human form.

"You fail the Bunshin, Naruto," Iruka said with sincere sorrow in his voice. "I'm sorry."

The look his student gave him nearly broke Iruka's heart. He could only offer a sad look. "I'll buy you ramen tonight, okay?"

"Sure, Iruka-sensei," Naruto said without changing expressions. _It truly is a sad day when an offer of ramen can't raise the spirits of Uzumaki Naruto_ , Iruka thought morosely.

"Please exit through the other door Naruto. As much as I would like to chat we've got more students to test."

Without looking back, Naruto shambled out the room and made his way to out of the Academy, the extra jutsu Naruto had non-verbally indicated knowing completely forgotten.

– – – –

 _It's not fair!_ The blond yelled to himself as he sat down an hour later on the carved head of the Yondaime, the top of which was probably his favourite place in the village whenever he needed to be alone.

_Why did there have to be a stupid rule about the amount of Bunshin? Aren't more Bunshin distractions better than a few anyway?_

Footsteps behind Naruto broke him out of his reverie. "Mizuki-sensei?" he asked when he had turned around.

Mizuki sat down next to him. "Hey Naruto," he greeted the child. They lapsed into silence. _You don't do anything without a reason, Mizuki-sensei. What's up?_ Naruto wanted to say, but something about Mizuki-sensei unsettled him and he stayed his tongue.

"Say, did you know there's a possibility for a make-up exam?" the white-haired chūnin out of the blue after a few minutes of silent companionship.

"What?" Naruto asked incredulously, turning to face the man. _A make-up exam? But you know as well as I that that requires nineties across the board with the exception of a single seventy._ _Internally_ _, he snorted. It was harder to get a make-up exam than it was to get a replacement task for merit promotion._ His eyes narrowed slightly. _What the hell is going on, Mizuki-sensei?_

"I know, I know," Mizuki said, waving a dismissive hand in the air, completely misinterpreting Naruto's question. "But don't be mad at Iruka-sensei for forgetting to mention it, okay?"

Before Naruto could indignantly say he wasn't, Mizuki continued, "So, here's what you gotta do..."

– – – –

Night had fallen over Konohagakure no Sato. The majority of the village had gone to bed to rest for the next day, a day of new challenges, meetings, customers, and the like. The other part of Konoha's populace were shinobi, the 'warriors of the dark'. The silent, the lethal, the unseen unless they want to be. But above all, shinobi are those that walk the twilight.

Unlike their reputation, most shinobi are actually asleep during the night. Only those involved in assassination and sabotage are often awake while others sleep, but even they enjoy a good night's rest from time to time.

Sometimes, though, even those shinobi that are usually asleep during the night are awake, restless. Like a blond child whose least derogatory nickname is 'flashlight-head'. This child had claimed a clearing for himself and was in the process of unfurling a very important-looking scroll, eager to learn one or two jutsu from it.

Opening the scroll, the child decides to check the various jutsu recorded on the normally high-security scroll. "Huh, neatly organized into multiple sections," he said. "Neat.

"First section: forbidden due to chakra cost. Kage Bunshin no jutsu, B-rank, create solid chakra-copies from the user. Warning: psychic feedback from dispersal may cause neural overload upon sustained use of the technique."

The child tilted his head in confusion. "What the hell is psychic feedback?" he asked himself, as if his subconscious knew the answer, perhaps that helpful voice from a few years back knew? After a minute he shook his head to get his thoughts back on track and take a look at the other ten jutsu listed as being forbidden due to chakra cost. Three jumped out from the rest.

_Genjutsu: Kokuangyo no jutsu, S-rank, enshroud the target in darkness, robbing them of their sight and sense of direction._

_Katon: Gōka Mekkyaku, S-rank, breathe a wall of fire at the opponent. Made famous by Uchiha Madara for taking out three hundred opposing Kumo shinobi at once._

_Suiton: Chō Uzu Tatsumaki, S-rank, user creates a massive spiralling vortex of water at the target location. Became infamous during the Uzushio Massacre for allowing six individuals to take out nearly the entire Kiri fleet._

Whistling appreciatively at the destructive power mentioned by the latter two techniques more detailed description, Naruto mentally marked the three for further reading before deciding to look through the entire scroll before returning.

"Section two: forbidden by clan. Beruserukā no jutsu, increases strength, speed, agility, and reaction speed by seven fold in return for three years of the users life and approximately half of the user's chakra. Yeesh. Banned by Senju Hashirama at the urging of the Inuzuka Clan Head after its use killed the previous Clan Head.

"If that's how all of them go, I don't even _want_ to learn them. Let's see...

"Yeah, imitation of the Hyūga Byakugan for ten minutes. Fifty percent chance for permanent blindness, one hundred percent chance of permanently burning out ocular nerves if the user has either an active or inactive dōjutsu themselves. Imitation of the Sharingan for much the same penalties. Replacement of eyes will not fix sight."

Naruto shivered. He would not like losing his eyesight, and couldn't imagine what it'd be like for someone like the Hyūga to be rendered blind. Returning his attention to the scroll to avoid thinking of such horrible things, he soon reached the last section.

It stood out to him because it only contained one jutsu. "Section seven: forbidden for disrupting the natural order. Edo Tensei, sacrifice a life to bring a deceased ninja back in his or her prime under the user's control." He shivered again, and nearly threw up at the mere thought of the jutsu. Who the hell would be insane enough to do something like that? For that matter, who would be insane – and skilled enough, he supposed after a few moments – to _create_ a technique like that? Was there a seal to counter the effects of the seal recorded with the Edo Tensei? He hoped there was, and if there wasn't he would learn fūinjutsu and design it himself!

But first, he had to graduate. Fūinjutsu studies were _very_ restricted due to the danger of seals going wrong. You couldn't even start until you were a genin, and only with the approval of your jōnin-sensei.

"So... Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, Gōka Mekkyaku, aand..." he paused to consider the merits of each technique. "...the Chō Uzu Tatsumaki." Eventually choosing the last technique because it was written with the same kanji as part of his family name.

He wrote down the instructions to both the Suiton and Katon jutsu he found earlier, figuring that he'd be doing good if he finished learning just the Kage Bunshin tonight, before he went back to the Kage Bunshin. It looked simple enough; the chakra moulding was almost the same for the Shadow Clone as it was for the standard clone, the main difference were the additional two handseals – ending in something that looked like it used to be an Ox sign – and the amount of chakra necessary.

Naruto decided not to worry about the psychic feedback for now. Reading the description thrice, and then thrice again just to make sure he wouldn't mess up, he decided to sit down and practice.

Ten minutes later, he was looking at a clearing full of clones. Giving a mental command for them to dispel, he performed the jutsu again with the intent to create as few clones as he could. He still created forty clones.

"I need to work on my control," he mused four attempts later, when he had created thirty, sixty, twenty, and eighty-seven clones. A rustling in the trees caught his attention and he quickly dispelled his Kage Bunshin, put his two copied jutsu away, and swiftly rolled up the Forbidden Scroll.

To Naruto's great consternation, Iruka-sensei landed in front of him, and he did not look very pleased. "NARUTO!" Iruka-sensei yelled at the same time that Naruto swore loudly.

– – – –

"Haha, pay up, everyone!" the aged man said to the six currently in his office before extending a hand and cackling. All of them were paying rapt attention to Hokage's crystal ball; a monitoring device devised by Senju Tobirama for the purpose of spying on the Konoha Hot Springs, adapted for other purposes by his successor.

Such as watching a blond twelve-year old flush out a traitor.

With a grumble the four ANBU guards of the Hokage, Morino Ibiki, and Mitarashi Anko placed money in their leader's hand.

– – – –

"Damnit sensei!" Naruto yelled, much to Iruka's shock. Naruto never spoke that way to him! "Couldn't you have waited for ten _freaking_ minutes so Mizuki could arrive here first and allow me to win my bet with jiji?!"

Iruka looked baffled. "What bet, Naruto?"

"The one where you arrive here _after_ Mizuki!"

"Wait, what?" Iruka asked, still supremely off-kilter by his favourite gaki's odd behaviour. Before Naruto could explain, a glint of metal appeared in the corner of his eye. Iruka ran full speed ahead at his student. "NARUTO GET DOWN!" he yelled as he shoved Naruto out of the way, using his body to shield the younger from the Fūma shuriken hurtling towards them.

"I'm surprised that you found this place, Umino," a voice in the trees said. "This may complicate things," the same voice said as the body that belonged to it appeared on a tree branch. Mizuki jumped down from the tree.

"I see," Iruka said, gritting his teeth in pain. "So that's how it is."

"Hand over the scroll, Naruto," Mizuki said, ignoring the other chūnin in the clearing and extending a hand towards to the not-yet-genin.

"Like he-" "Naruto don't give him the scroll," Iruka interrupted him.

Mizuki tsk'd. "Naruto, Iruka is afraid of you having that scroll. Truly, he is. Let me enlighten you. You see, there's a rule concerning you, put into place by the Sandaime. More of a law, really."

Naruto tilted his head. This was genuine news to him. "What rule?"

"We're not allowed-" "STOP IT, MIZUKI!" "- to say that you are the demon fox that attacked the village twelve years ago!"

Naruto froze from shock. _That was the reason everyone hates me? That I'm the Kyūbi?_

Mizuki, meanwhile, took the second Fūma shuriken from his back and gripped it tightly, preparing to throw it straight through the blond child frozen in depressing thoughts. Before he could complete the motion that would launch the oversized shuriken at the child, a firm hand gripped Mizuki's wrist.

Iruka and Mizuki turned to look at the new arrival, and stared right into a white porcelain mask, adorned by markings to resemble a wolf. A second, third, and fourth figure entered the clearing in short order, their only difference in attire being the markings on their masks.

"Chūnin Tōji Mizuki, you are hereby arrested for breaking Sandaime-sama's law regarding the status of the Kyūbi. Tora and Hitsuji, escort Chūnin Umino to the hospital. Neko, escort Uzumaki-san to the Hokage Office."

"Understood, Ōkami-taichou," the other three replied in unison. A few moments later the clearing was filled with swirling leaves. When the leaves had subsided, the clearing was devoid of humans.

– – – –

A similar swirl of leaves heralded the arrival of Neko and her young passenger in the Hokage's office. Upon seeing Naruto's practically catatonic state, the Hokage turned to Neko and asked, "Neko, what happened?" Briefly, he cursed the fact that the crystal ball did not transmit sound.

"Tōji-chūnin stated his belief that Uzumaki-san _was_ the Kyūbi, rather than the Kyūbi's jailor. In addition to this, Tōji-chūnin drove a Fūma shuriken into Umino-chūnin's back, though the shuriken in question was aimed at Uzumaki-san. It is a well-known fact throughout the village that Umino-chūnin and Uzumaki-san have a friendly relationship that both cherish. I hypothesize that this led to an already compromised mental state prior to Tōji-chūnin spouting his belief regarding the Kyūbi and resulted in Uzumaki-san's current state."

He nodded. "Ibiki, Anko," he said with enough chill in his voice to freeze the entire village. The two named shinobi stood up straight, though Anko looked positively gleeful. "Carte Blanche. When he's given up all his information, I want his head on a platter."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama!" Anko cheered. She gave Naruto a quick hug, making sure that his face was pressed between her sizable breasts – because any straight male would cheer up from that, right? And it wasn't as if she was going to do that to just anyone, the blond gaki was _special_ – before releasing him and vanishing in a swirl of leaves.

"Of course, Hokage-sama," Ibiki agreed. There was no obvious cheer in his voice, but it was plain to anyone that had worked with him for even a month that Mizuki's actions hadn't endeared him to the scarred Head of T&I. He, too, vanished in a swirl of leaves without waiting for his superior to dismiss him.

He made a swift hand-sign and the ANBU in the room left as well. He stood up and made his way to his grandson in all but blood. Kneeling before the child, he pulled the diminutive young man in a hug. No one should have had to be introduced to such a burden in such a way. _Damn Mizuki to Hell_ , he thought angrily.

"Naruto," he called, trying to get the child's attention. Seeing that it didn't work, he tried again but louder.

It took four such tries before he finally got a response. "Hey, jiji," Naruto said in tone he couldn't readily identify. It was something of a cross between a man hearing his execution verdict and a man walking towards his own death.

It utterly broke his heart. "I am so sorry, my boy," was the only thing he could offer as an apology. "I had hoped you'd have something of a normal childhood, but it appears that even after the events of your eighth birthday that was not to be."

Naruto just cried silently. "However, Mizuki was not telling the entire truth."

Naruto stilled rather suddenly and turned to look at him. "What do you mean, jiji?" he asked.

"Mizuki may have believed, as do most of the villagers still despite my best efforts, that you _are_ the Kyūbi, the truth is that you are but its jailor."

"Wha-?" Naruto uttered intelligently. "What do you mean, jailor?"

"Have you ever wondered why you have a seal on your stomach, Naruto?"

Naruto nodded. _Of course he had, who wouldn't?_ "That seal holds the Kyūbi within you."

The pair fell silent. Naruto's sobs had subsided, but he could feel that the child's mental crisis was not over yet, and likely wouldn't be for a while.

"Why me?" Naruto finally asked after a few minutes.

"The Kyūbi is a force of nature, Naruto. Forces of nature cannot be killed, or would you like to try and kill the wind?" Feeling his grandson fervently shake his head against his chest, he chuckled slightly. "The best one can do against forces of nature is to seal them away.

"However, the Kyūbi was much to powerful for most seals. Only the most powerful of seals on the most resilient of hosts would do. Fortunately, you were born mere moments before the Kyūbi started its rampage. That is to say, only an Uzumaki child could possibly hope to contain the Kyūbi. You."

"So I'm an actual Uzumaki? I mean, I wasn't just given the name in memory of a friend?" Naruto asked, sounding halfway hopeful. He decided to extend a bone and give the child knowledge of his mother. He had made certain that the marriage certificate between Uzumaki Kushina and Uzumaki-Namikaze Minato – the Uzumaki were technically royalty while the Namikaze were not, even if the Uzumaki lacked a fiefdom these days – was well-hidden, and it wasn't as if Uzumaki Kushina had that many enemies. Minato, on the other hand...

"Indeed. Your mother was Uzumaki Kushina. In current common parlance, she would be called 'badass', I believe the word is. My late nephew once described her as 'taking none of nobody's shit'. She was beautiful, strong, and quite the character. Adept with the blade, she was the kind of fighter that preferred punching her enemies in the face, or slicing them to bits. Additionally, while she did not use traditional jutsu much, she was fond of using chains made from nothing but her chakra, which she could use to hold people in place, or even perform elaborate sealing rituals with. Appropriately, they were named the Chakura no Fūsa."

Naruto's eyes glinted in obvious awe. "How did she die?" he asked, and his own face fell as he thought of a good way to answer this. He could tell a lie now, and face the consequences if – when – they made contact, or he could tell the truth now and save future heartache.

"As far as I know, she didn't," he answered, having decided that the truth would be best, no matter how badly it hurt. "She disappeared to places unknown after the Kyuubi attack and she hasn't kept in touch."

Naruto's face fell. "I see," he said morosely. His heart went out to the boy, to learn that he had family alive but that they, his own _mother_ , had not contacted him since his birth?

That had to hurt. It was just that the alternative was worse or he wouldn't have done it. "To get back on track, after Minato, the Yondaime, convinced Kushina to give you up for the sealing Minato summoned Shinigami-sama to seal the Kyūbi away within you. Before I could retake my place as the Sandaime, someone had leaked that you were the Jinchūriki – that's the word for hosts of demons – of the Kyūbi to the adults in the village. The best I could do was put a law in place preventing anyone from talking about it, but that has been less successful than I hoped."

"At least you tried, jiji," Naruto said after a while digesting his grandfather's words, wrapping his arms tighter around the older man. _Truly, Naruto, your forgiveness knows no bound._ _I can only hope our world will not completely change that_.

"I do have a present for you, Naruto-kun," he said after a few moments of silence.

"You do, jiji?"

"Indeed. You did successfully complete the agreed-upon mission to flush out the traitor, remember?" Without waiting for confirmation and steadfastly ignoring the brightening expression adorning Naruto's face, he reached into his pocket and withdrew a Konoha-standard hitae-ate. He released the child and straightened, placing the official Hokage Hat on his head. He cleared his throat.

"Uzumaki Naruto," he began in his best official voice. "For your role in the successful identification and capture of the traitor Tōji Mizuki, you are hereby merit-promoted to the rank of Genin. You will report at noon two days from now to the Shinobi Academy for your ninja identification photograph. Your team assignment will be a fortnight from the day of the Graduation Exam."

He handed the cloth to Naruto, who reverently tied it to his head, proudly displaying the stylized leaf on his forehead. When Naruto had finished tying the knot, he hugged his grandfather so hard that he was sure his bones creaked.

It would be an hour before Naruto let go of the Hokage, and another hour after that before the child made his way to the apartment of Yūhi Kurenai.

– – – –

Naruto was not one to give into exhaustion. His Uzumaki blood meant that he had nearly limitless stamina, and it translated to emotional robustness.

Today, however, he was truly and utterly _spent._ The graduation exam, and the rising and falling hope that he'd be able to pass, followed by the crushing feeling of failing. Then Mizuki-teme and his false 'graduation exam'. His going to the Hokage with his suspicions, essentially being told that he was correct and being ordered to play along. He got a few jutsu out of the entire ordeal so it wasn't all that bad, but the crown jewel that overshadowed all – even him officially becoming a genin – was him learning about the Kyūbi no Kitsune, the Nine-Tailed Fox, stuck in his gut. Even learning he had a mother and that she had abandoned him was only a moderate blow, mostly cancelled by the fact that he was now officially a genin of Konoha.

For the first time in his life, and he sincerely hoped the last, Uzumaki Naruto was mentally and physically _exhausted._ Even so, it took two hours for his body to shut down and send him into Morpheus' embrace.

– – – –

A sewer. Naruto had had bad dreams before, but dreaming about a sewer?

That was new. It was a very strange sewer, too. The water just slid off his skin and clothes and there was absolutely zero stink in the air. He looked around and noted that the sewer was illuminated such that there were no shadows, and there were two strange pipes running across the ceiling.

Without thinking, he put one foot in front of another and started to walk. He did not know where he was walking towards, nor was he exactly in control of his body at the moment.

Minutes passed, as did twists and turns in the sewer network. Finally, after what felt like hours, he spotted a red glow in the distance. Horror movie protagonists' deaths flashed in front of his mind as his legs moved on their own according toward the red glow. He wanted nothing more than to stop and observe the red glow before entering it so that he would avoid the fate of aforementioned protagonists.

But it was not to be. His legs led him straight into and through the red glow – without harm – and _through the bars_. Belatedly, he realized that he had _entered his seal_ , the seal holding back the Kyūbi no Kitsune! The red glow cleared as soon as he passed between the bars, but he did not see the gigantic fox of legend.

Instead, his breath hitched when he saw the most beautiful woman he had seen in his short life so far. Given that this list included the likes of Yūhi Kurenai, Mitarashi Anko, and Uzuki Yūgao that was quite the achievement.

Waist-length red hair crowned a mostly round face, one bang falling slightly off to the side in front of her face while another was forced aside using a hairclip. Vibrant amethyst eyes beheld the world, or in this case a twelve-year old blond, while the younger's eyes drank in a body that would leave many men drooling and an even greater number of women jealous. Healthy pink skin, generous breasts, wide hips, a narrow waist, and long legs culminated in what appeared to Naruto as divinity made flesh.

The fact that two red-furred ears stuck up out of her hair or that there were nine red tails lazily swishing about behind her didn't register in his mind, for there was one very big distraction; the beautiful woman in his seal was utterly naked.

Propelled backward by the force of his massive nosebleed, Naruto passed out inside his seal.

– – – –

The woman stared at the unconscious blond, amused with the situation. "Ara, perhaps forgoing clothing wasn't the brightest of ideas."

She promptly shifted her appearance to include her preferred mode of dress; pants, shirt, bandages around her upper right thigh for a – currently absent – kunai pouch, and wooden geta similar in model to Jiraiya of the Sannin. Being a kitsune had it's advantages; she never, ever needed to wash her clothes, or even _own_ clothes in the first place. She still did regardless, keeping up a transformation just wasted chakra while on a mission. "Ara, such a little pervert," she said mildly before smiling wickedly. "Such a good kit."

She walked over to the unconscious child and cradled him in her hands and carefully wrapped her tails around him. She frowned. He was far too light and small for his age.

Even considering the late growth spurt of the Uzumaki, Naruto was nearly a full 30cm shorter and 9kg below Uzumaki average for a twelve-year and some months old kit, clocking in at – to her best estimate – 130cm and 30kg, give or take. Kurenai-chan had done a lot of good when it came to his nutrition, but he was both an Uzumaki and her son, and they had dietary requirements that weren't immediately obvious, and even less known outside the clan.

She hummed a soft tune from her childhood in Uzushio as she waited for him to awake.

After close to half an hour she felt him stirring, slightly nuzzling into the tail cradling his head. His breathing sped up, as did his heartbeat, but he did not otherwise show signs of being awake. Tilting her head in confusion, it took longer than she cared to admit while for the light bulb to illuminate her thought processes.

"Ara," she said. "I'm dressed now, Naruto-kun."

– – – –

Naruto opened one eye cautiously at her words. He hadn't seen any clothing, though granted he didn't see much beyond the vision of divinity given form, before he passed out and decided to be cautious. Lacking much in the way of social education and what was considered to be acceptable behaviour, he had once wanted to speak to Kurenai while staying the night on her couch, before she had finished the room in which he would be sleeping. He walked in on her half-naked while changing into pyjamas and promptly received a beating and lecture-rant on perversion.

He wasn't willing to take much of a chance after such an experience. Sure enough, he could see fabric covering the unknown woman's form. Deciding to trust her words, he opened both eyes fully and drank in her face. Only then did he notice the ears and the fact he was strangely comfortable in her presence. He especially liked being held the way he was now, it was always what he imagined it'd be like to be held by a mother.

He reached out tentatively, instinctively, to her ears. She lowered her head to grant him easier access and softly moaned when he scratched her in _that spot_ just behind her ears. Startled, he pulled his hand back and stared at it, disbelieving of the actions the appendage just took. He had just _stroked_ the head of the _Kyūbi._

"Who are you?" Naruto asked in a soft voice.

She grinned. "As you may have deduced, I am the Kyūbi no Kitsune."

Naruto nodded while gently stroking a tail. "I figured that," he said dryly. _She's that mysterious voice!_

"Glad to see your powers of observation are undiminished," she said with a near-feral grin. "What you may not know, however, is my _name._ "

"Your name? You mean something other than Kyūbi?" he asked curiously.

She nodded. "Indeed. You know me as naught but the Kyūbi no Kitsune, but I am..."

She paused to let the dramatic tension build up.

"... Uzumaki Kushina, your mother."

Naruto's eyes rolled into the back of his head and his world became dark once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations, if they're not canon they're courtesy of jisho dot org:
> 
> Genjutsu: Illusion arts
> 
> \- Kokuangyo: Infinite Darkness
> 
> Kawarimi no Jutsu: Body Replacement Technique
> 
> Henge no Jutsu: Transformation Technique
> 
> Bunshin no Jutsu: Clone Technique
> 
> Kage Bunshin no Jutsu: Shadow Clone Technique
> 
> Suiton: Water Release
> 
> \- Teppōdama: Gunshot
> 
> \- Chō Uzu Tatsumaki: Super Whirlpool Tornado (original jutsu)
> 
> Katon: Fire Release
> 
> \- Gōka Mekkyaku: Great Fire Destroyer
> 
> Fūton: Wind Release
> 
> \- Daitoppa: Great Breakthrough
> 
> Beruserukā no Jutsu: Berserker Technique, inspired by The Maelstrom of Konoha Book 1 by Cantor, which seems to be a dead fic though I'm hoping it's not.
> 
> Fūma Shuriken: Demon Wind Shuriken. Sometimes translated as Windmill Shuriken.
> 
> Tora: Tiger
> 
> Hitsuji: Ram
> 
> Ōkami: Wolf
> 
> Neko: Cat
> 
> Taichō: Captain, Commanding Officer.
> 
> Ara: Ah, Oh. Filler sound much like 'euhm'. Jisho describes it as being pretty exclusively used by females.


	2. The Formation of Team Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: If you recognize it from official releases, it isn't in my possession.
> 
> Chapter starts off a wee bit angsty and emotional, but it clears up within a few hundred words. I don't like writing angst, having had enough of it during my pre- and early teens.
> 
> Version 2. (March 2015)

  


Kushina blew gently on her son's whisker marks while humming old soothing tunes from Uzushio. She giggled lightly when he tried to lean into the gentle stream of air and met the resistance of the tails she had wrapped around him, letting out a soft whine when he was barred from moving closer to the source of the air lapping at his whisker marks.

She'd missed out on holding him for the past twelve years, she was going to take every opportunity she had to make up for lost time. It took a few minutes for her son to recover from the shock of learning the Kyūbi was his mother, and soon his eyes cracked open once more. When they had fully opened they fixated on her face, as if he was trying to burn it into his memory.

"So you were real," he said with no small amount of awe in his voice. "I thought I dreamt you."

Her heart broke upon hearing his words. She'd witnessed most of his life until now and had cried herself to sleep more than once that she couldn't be there to hold him. "I am real, musuko-kun," she said, trying to reassure her kit, her precious, precious kit that she was here, that she was going to stay, and that she was going to stay for a _long, long_ time.

"Why did you not talk to me earlier, why wait until now?" he said, his voice filled with doubt, self-loathing, and something more that she didn't _want_ to identify. The few emotions she could readily identify hit hard, so she didn't want to dig deeper into his current mental state.

"Because, musuko-kun," she replied in as strong a voice as she could muster at the moment. "Your mind is a veritable bastion. I was able to see and hear all of it because of the seal, but communicating to you was nearly impossible because you weren't aware of me, except in very short bursts that required me to recover for a while." She could feel tears drop from her eyes. It was rather undignified for someone of her station, but right now she didn't care. "I had to sleep for a year to recover from the two messages I sent to you when you were eight."

Naruto nodded numbly, tightening his grip on his mother to almost painful levels.

Slowly, reluctantly, Kushina steeled herself for the information she was about to impart. "Right now, there are two things you must be aware of before you wake up."

Naruto looked up at his mother's face and tilted his head in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"As much as it pains me to say, you're not out of the woods yet. There are consequences to being my son," she said, and she could see Naruto responding with a curious mixture of dread and despair filling his eyes. "There are rather a few people, mostly Inu and Ōkami oni, who will want your head so that they can hurt me. There are also a number of humans on that list, but that's not because you're the _offspring_ of the Kyūbi, but because you are my container.

"Secondly, being my son means that you're a Hanyō, or half-demon. Specifically, as I am a Daiyōkai, you are a Daihanyō. What that exactly entails for you, we will discuss later. For now, suffice to say that I placed a seal on you shortly after you were born to suppress your demonic blood until you were ready to learn how to control it. However, I had not counted on this seal," she spread her arms around to indicate the seal they were currently inside of, "to be added to you, and definitely did not expect the seal to be designed so that my power would slowly bleed into your own and be only partially transformed into chakra. This has caused your suppressed demonic blood to destabilize, with potentially catastrophic results. I will be removing that tomorrow."

Naruto raised his eyebrows and gulped.

"Third, I have a home on the outskirts of the village. I was intending to raise you there, but events twelve years ago decided otherwise. It's isolated and the perfect place for you to train."

_"Home?"_ Naruto mumbled numbly, but with traces of hope in his voice. The hope of an orphan that he was wanted all along, that there is someone out there that cares for him, and the hope for a better – brighter – future. She'd heard similar tones from other orphans.

"But as of this moment, you need to go catch some z's. That is, sleep," she added upon seeing her son's confused expression. "You have a long day ahead of you."

Naruto nodded, and tightened his grip on his mother's body once again. Nestled in the comforting warmth of her arms and tails, he soon found himself unable to keep his eyes open. He fell asleep with a content smile on his face, not dissimilar to the ones she had felt on his face when Kurenai had tucked Naruto in at night, but different in a way she couldn't really place.

– – – –

Naruto awoke to the bright morning light with a yawn and a slight headache. Last night had been _crazy_. He was the son of the freaking Kyūbi no Kitsune! He wasn't entirely sure if he liked the idea of releasing the seal holding back his demonic heritage, though, despite the ominous sound of 'potentially catastrophic results'.

' _It's going to have to be done, kit,'_ his mother said without so much as a 'good morning'. ' _If it's not released you'll go on a rampage, killing all in sight and then going hunting for more.'_

Naruto paled. That sounded so very much _worse_ than whatever the villagers would do if he showed up with, say, fox ears. He gulped and tried to steel himself. Perhaps releasing the seal wouldn't be all that bad?

He could only hope.

' _Kaa-chan, should I speak to jiji about you?'_ he inquired curiously. The man who was his grandfather in all but blood had seemed very sad when he spoke of his mother. The fact that he could help Naruto navigate the murky waters of village politics and subtly prepare the village for the day his heritage came to light was naught but a far-off consideration to his mind.

_'Might as well. Only f_ _our_ _people knew about what I am, and it appears that two of those are now dead, and one of them is so rarely in the village it doesn't matter,'_ his mother replied with an unseen nod. ' _The last is so doggedly loyal that she'd literally die before speaking of it without my permission. Having the Hokage knowledgeable would be to our benefit.'_

_'I'll go visit him later then,'_ he said. ' _Now, where did you say that the house was?'_

' _At the outskirts of the village. Make your way to training ground 43, and stand near the waterfall._ _Leave a note for Kurenai that says something about secluded training. Do not, for now, include anything about me._ _'_

_'_ __Why not?'_ _

__'She used to be on my genin team when I was a jōnin-sensei. She deserves an explanation in person, but_ _ __I'm going to be selfish and claim bonding time between the two of us, and_ _ _only_ __the two of us_ _ __._ _ __There are also some things that you need to be trained in, and it's probably going to take the whole fortnight to get the_ _ __m_ _ __down._ _ __'_ _

Naruto nodded to show he had understood, but decided that he would first pay Ichiraku's a visit. Something told him that his ramen intake was about to be drastically reduced even further than Kurenai-nee did so he was going to make the most of what little time he had left to fully gorge himself on the divine food.

– –

Inside the seal, Kushina followed his train of thought and shook her head. _Of course_ he was going to have his ramen intake reduced; she was fully intending to make him follow a _proper_ nutritional diet. Kurenai had fixed a lot of the issues, but as a half-Kitsune, and an Uzumaki to boot, he had some specific dietary needs that weren't met by following a purely human one. It would fix his stature and weight issues in time, but for now she merely opened a link to share senses with his taste buds to taste the divine food, silently thanking Minato for creating the seal in such a way that this was possible. Ramen was the favourite food of kitsune both male and female for a very simple reason; it worked similar to a mild aphrodisiac and euphoriac. Enough to get horny and happy, not enough to jump any random attractive individual and become overly exuberant.

There was a reason the phrase 'Ramen is Inari-sama's gift to all of Creation' got started, and that reason was disguised Kitsune not watching their tongues.

– –

Naruto screeched to a halt in front of the stand and froze. _This can't be, can it?_ He asked himself, desperately wishing that this was an illusion. He put his hands in a Ram seal and swiftly pulsed his chakra in the way that Iruka-sensei said would disrupt genjutsu. A wave of chakra, similar in size and scope to the pulse he sent in his desperation four years earlier washed over the stand – and half the village – but nothing changed. That meant it _had_ to be real. But, why? Why would the Gods Above pull such a horrible trick on him? Was it Karma, finally catching up with the backlog from all the pranking that not even Kurenai-nee could put a hold to? Was this Inari-sama's idea of a prank?

With a grumbling stomach, he fell to his knees. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he yelled out to the heavens, arms raised as if pleading for the gods to change this catastrophe. "WHY?!" he cried out as his eyes once again locked onto the sign taped to the very familiar curtain of the Ichiraku Ramen stand.

' _Ichiraku Ramen is closed due to illness.'_

His heart broken from the absence of the Heavenly Noodles, he slowly stood up and shambled towards training ground 43.

– – – –

' _So here I am, okaa-chan. Training ground 43.'_ Naruto looked at the twenty-metre high waterfall five metres away, a feature he was sure wasn't natural for this part of Hi no Kuni, and wondered what relation it had to the mentioned house.

' _Indeed you are, musuko-kun,'_ his mother replied. ' _Now, the house is behind the waterfall. You don't yet know how to water walk, but the bottom is free of rocks so you can swim.'_

Naruto nodded and started stripping. ' _Random question, kaa-chan, why are the stories all about_ female _kitsune? Why never the males?'_

_'Random indeed,'_ his mother said. ' _The reason for that is actually very simple; male kitsune are_ rare _. For every six female kitsune born, there is_ one _male on average, though it's not entirely uncommon to have a litter with twelve females and no male_ _s._ _As a result, male kitsune are usually hoarded within kitsune territory, and them having a half-dozen to a dozen mates is the norm. Partly because of this, several human social taboos do not apply, particularly those relating to incest. My father, for example, is also my uncle, and_ his _father is also his grandfather_ and _great-grandfather.'_

_'Truly?'_ Naruto asked as he removed the last of his clothing. Perhaps that was the reason why the concept of incest didn't bother him as much as it did his classmates when Iruka-sensei talked about it during their lessons on genetics?

' _Truly,'_ his mother confirmed. ' _It helps that we kitsune, like all demons, do not suffer from genetic degradation as a result of parent-child unions, which is the reason the incest taboo got started among humans in the first place.'_

Naruto dove into the water – with a brief mental thank-you to Kurenai-nee for teaching him how to swim – and struggled to make his way past the waterfall, trying to distract himself from the images that had popped up from the short conversation, most of them typical teenage fantasies. He wasn't a particularly good swimmer, nor was his upper body strength very good – outrunning ANNBU after a prank required only leg power after all was said and done – so it took him a while, but he eventually reached the rocky dock-like structure behind the waterfall with a successful side-objective; he hadn't thought about his mother's supremely beautiful naked body draped over his own, her sweaty skin glistening beneath the pale moonli...

Inari-sama damn it! He'd almost made it to the other end, too! _Curse you hormones!_

He clambered up to the sort-of dry rockface, and his eyes widened as he took in the sight before him with a gasp that _wasn't_ related to his earlier activity. A truly humongous garden was laid out before him, with plants so exotic he was sure Ino would have entered and not come out for _decades,_ unless forced. Despite being a cave, it was well-illuminated with what appeared to be natural light.

' _Some of my finest work; light-transmission seals. They're two linked seals and if you shine a light on one it appears out the other end, but not the other way around. I wanted to perfect them so that one collector seal could be used to transmit light to more than one emitter seal, but I didn't have the time to do so before I was sealed inside you.'_

_'I_ will _want that story sometime, kaa-chan,'_ Naruto said as he walked along the designated path and drank in the ambience of the garden.

_'And you will get it, Naruto-kun,'_ she replied firmly. _'But not today, we have a lot to do.'_

Naruto's reply was stuck in his throat as he saw a house among the flowers, approximately fifty metres from his position. It was built in the traditional Japanese style common to the Elemental Nations, all wood and traditional shogi doors.

' _Welcome home, my son,'_ Kushina said fondly.

A strange warmth spread throughout Naruto's body. His apartment had never felt like a home, just a place he'd lived. Yet, he had not even set foot in this place and he already felt relaxed, completely and utterly at ease with the world and himself, a feeling entirely foreign to him.

A small smile, full of hope for the future, spread across his face.

– – – – _Two Weeks Later_ – – – –

Umino Iruka whistled a jaunty tune as he walked into the classroom where the recent graduates had assembled carrying naught but a single file. Or rather, a single sheet of paper. Team assignments only required the team number, genin names, and their jōnin instructor, all of which usually fit on a single line. They'd need dozens of teams to even _start_ to require a second sheet. However, it was not the lack of files that had Iruka in such a good mood today, though less paperwork usually made _any_ administrator happy.

Today was the last day he'd have to be stuck with the Twin Banshees, Yamanaka Ino and Haruno Sakura. Ino on her own was acceptable, and showed a maturity not often found in children so young, though he suspected that her clan, which specialised in the mind and the manipulation thereof, helped with that.

Put her together with Haruno Sakura and he wasn't sure his eardrums would survive any given day at the Academy, however. He personally suspected it was only partly from actual affection towards Sasuke-san, and part ingratiating her with the civilian side of the gossip fence. As most ninja, but especially the Yamanaka, knew, gossip was _powerful_. Out-of-town merchants took gossip with them to other villages – and vice versa, of course –, which sometimes paid a premium for rumours. Civilians on holiday spread gossip around the Nations, and many decisions were made from the gossip, after intelligence analysts boiled the rumours down to what was the likely core truth. For this reason, the gossip networks – and their kings and queens – were very important to any Hidden Village and were closely monitored. It could of course be from genuine fangirlism, but he didn't think the Yamanaka Patriach, Inoichi, would allow his daughter to be a True Fangirl for very long.

Haruno Sakura, on the other hand, was completely and unequivocally a True Fangirl, as was most of the Uchiha Sasuke Fanclub. Loud, shrill, and utterly devoted to gaining 'their sasuke-kun's' affection. His heart went out to the kid, it truly did. No one deserved a gaggle of fangirls. He'd had half a mind to ask Mitarashi Anko – who had a near-perfect track record of breaking the 'fan' out of 'fangirl' – but decided that all he'd do was recommend her services to whatever jōnin-sensei ended up with Sakura-san on their squad. It wasn't worth the paperwork introducing Anko to the class would inevitably cause, and the other civilian girls were unlikely to be accepted into the elite program under a jōnin-sensei.

Placing the single sheet of paper of the desk, he surreptitiously put his hands in his favourite handseal, a modified Reverse Ram. The **Akuma Kokubi no Jutsu** was created for the sole purpose of shutting up children that wouldn't ordinarily do so. The other teachers had begged him to teach them the jutsu after seeing its effect, and they looked so desperate that he had complied with little argument. He had learned two months later that someone had apparently leaked the jutsu out of Konoha, because he got a thank-you card from an Iwa Academy teacher two years ago, expressing their undying gratitude for his invention of the jutsu.

After it had been thoroughly checked for traps, of course. It _was_ Iwa, after all.

"SHUT UP!" he roared, head enlarged to six or seven times its usual size with complementary red skin and vicious horns. Within a single second, the class was silent and he dismissed the jutsu.

"Congratulations," he said simply when he was sure no one would start talking. "All of you gathered here have proven yourself worthy of joining the shinobi force of Konohagakure no Sato."

Before he could continue, the door creaked open. The light of the hallway illuminated the figure of a child that Iruka had not personally seen since he visited his bed a week ago. His shoulder-length red and blond hair was still shoulder-length – though far spikier than it had been seven days previous –, his eyes were still that brilliant amethyst-ish shade of blue, and he had abandoned his orange tracksuit for a pants-shirt-geta ensemble featuring primarily red, black, and white.

A long sheath was held diagonally across his back, appearing approximately four and a half shaku in length. The only thing that stood out about the katana was the rather unique cross-guard; a bronze four-point star that went well with the lighter blue hilt and darker blue sheath.

The entire look was completed by the three whisker marks adorning each cheek and the Konoha hitae-ate worn like a choker.

A sheepish expression appeared on the child's face after his eyes saw that the unofficial ceremony was already underway. "Sorry I'm late," he said.

"It's fine, Naruto," he assured him. "I've literally just congratulated everyone on making it this far before you came in. Take a seat," he finished with a hand extended into the classroom.

"Wait," a voice spoke up, and most faces turned towards the speaker, one Haruno Sakura. "Didn't Naruto fail the exam?"

"His failing was staged so that we could make use of his pariah status to catch a traitor," Iruka explained patiently, causing eyes everywhere to widen in shock. "During the apprehension of said traitor, Naruto behaved like we expect Konoha shinobi to do and he gained a merit promotion to genin," Iruka continued, sending astonished gazes – plus one calculating one from Sasuke-san – toward the half-blond.

"With that bit of excitement over, let's continue," Iruka said with a clap of his hands to gather the attention of the class.

"You have graduated from the Academy. Four years of learning are past you, but your ninja path is only just starting, and it'll only get more difficult from here. You have earned the rank of genin, but this is only the first step, and the easiest one.

"I am proud of all of you, and wish you the best of luck on your continued journey through the marshes of what we call life. If there is only one thing you remember from your time at the Academy, let it be this:

"You are now Konoha shinobi, the pride of the Hidden Leaf, the oldest and strongest of the Great Five. You are now representatives of the village, and you are allowed to take pride in that fact, as long as that pride doesn't go to your head."

Iruka's gaze swept across the enraptured faces of the genin in front of him, and wished that he could speak as well as this during the more traditionally boring courses, like history.

"Now then, as is tradition, you have been divided into teams of three under a prospective jōnin-sensei.

"Team 1, under jōnin Shiranui Genma, consisting of...

– –

"Team 7, under jōnin Hatake Kakashi, consisting of Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke..." at this point Iruka made to protect his ears from Sakura's squeal. He wasn't fast enough.

"TRUE LOVE PREVAILS!" she shouted, deafening everyone in the classroom. Naruto and Kiba in particular, being in possession of heightened senses, were _not_ appreciative of their classmate's volume and pitch, and both pitied the as-yet unannounced third member of team seven.

"... and Uzumaki Naruto," Iruka finished. Naruto turned a betrayed gaze toward the scarred teacher. Iruka responded with a shrug and an apologetic expression. "I don't make the teams, Naruto."

Naruto grumbled even as Kiba reached forward from the row behind him to pat him on the back. They may not always get along, but being on the same team as the Banshee Queen was not something either of the two wished on their worst enemy. He made eye contact with the dog-nin, trademark dog resting on his head, and nodded before turning back to face Iruka.

"Team 8, under jōnin Yūhi Kurenai, consisting of Aburame Shino, Hyūga Hinata, and Inuzuka Kiba.

"Team 9 is still in circulation from last year, so team 10, under jōnin Sarutobi Asuma will consist of Akimichi Chōji, Nara Shikamaru, and Yamanaka Ino.

"Your sensei will be here after noon to pick you up, for now we will have a one hour recess, after which you will return here and be picked up by your sensei. Dismissed."

The majority of the class began to chat excitedly as they rose from their seats.

– – – –

The next four hours were spent in a variety of ways by the prospective teams. Teams 2, 8, and 10 decided to go for lunch to properly get to know each other as teams – though the latter were already familiar with one another, they weren't a _team_ up to that point –, while teams 1, 3, 4, and 6 were already friendly with one another and went their separate ways for now.

Team 5 had a three-way mutual dislike relationship and spent the first hour sulking before meeting up with their sensei, who then proceeded to swiftly fail the team within half an hour. They didn't even make it through the introduction without fighting amongst themselves.

As for team seven... Sakrua spent a full hour trying to woo Sasuke, who proceeded to attempt to ignore her very existence, though if one looked closely they could see that his hand twitched in the general direction of his kunai pouch every once in a while.

The third member of team seven, on the other hand, was sitting in a lotus position, quietly reflecting on the happenings of the previous two weeks.

– – – – _Two Weeks Ago – – – –_

' _Alright, first things first,'_ his mother said resolutely. ' _I'll need a fair bit of your blood for this, about a half to three-quarter pint will do. I'll heal the cut when the required amount of blood is in the air. After that, I'll be giving you the images of a few handseals you have to perform.'_

Naruto nodded hesitantly. Iruka-sensei had impressed upon them all the importance of blood; it could uniquely identify someone, it could be used to discern the secrets of your body if the examiner was skilled enough – very, _very_ , few were but there were people out there that could –, and it could be used in sealing to bind a seal to your chakra signature. Summoning seals worked like that, but binding or caging seals infused with the blood of the bound or caged were almost impossible to break out of.

Spilling blood, let alone voluntarily spilling three-quarters of a pint of blood, was _dangerous_ to a ninja. Nevertheless, he found himself a knife in the kitchen and proceeded to bleed all over the floor. While that was going on, images of handseals appeared in his mind's eye and he followed the sequence exactly.

" **Onipō: Chishio Bunshin,** " he intoned at the end of the seal sequence. The spilled blood bubbled and rose into the air, using the chakra inherent in the blood and the chakra that he had just channelled through the handseals to multiply and take on a vaguely human shape.

Over the course of five minutes, the shape taken by the blood gained definition and started to coalesce into vein-like structures. When it had gained all the definition it could and nearly gave Naruto a nosebleed because it was very obviously a female form with tails that reminded him so very much of his mother's, there was a bright flash that forced him to close his eyes.

When the spots in his vision had cleared, he gingerly opened his still hurting eyes.

The next thing he knew was his head smashing into the wall from the force of his nosebleed. His mother, once again, stood naked before him.

– –

"Ara," Kushina said with a tilted head. "Such a good perverted little kit. Your sister is going to be overjoyed.

"Still," she added after a moment's pause. "He needs to get seduction resistance. Can't have a pretty female enemy shinobi flash him, knock him out, and then slit his throat, now can we?"

She knew that there would be, it was the number one reason why kunoichi dressed rather provocatively out in the field. There was a far greater chance to meet male nin on the opposing side than there was to meet a female nin, and a male nin that thought with his second head was one swiftly reduced to _only_ _one_ head. And not the one whose loss meant you could still live if you had medical attention swift enough. She sighed and steeled herself.

"I apologize, musuko-kun, but this is going to hurt," she said to the unconscious body of her son as she gathered chakra onto her fingertips.

She rammed her chakra coated fingertips into her son's stomach. " **Akuma Heitei: Kai**."

Red electricity raced across her son's skin as the seal suppressing his demonic blood evaporated into nothingness. She had initially wanted to remove this seal from the mental representation of Naruto's stomach last night, but she pushed it back to now because she was fairly certain there was only a fifty-fifty chance of the seal being removed from the Naruto's physical stomach as well, and she wasn't sure if she could live through watching this twice. Perhaps if she had been older, but as it was she was only slightly more than a century old and seeing her son convulse while unconscious from what must have been excruciating agony _hurt_.

Her trials were not without reward, though. Naruto's human ears were replaced with two vibrant red furry ones sticking up from his mop of blond hair and seven equally red tails with white tips sprouted from his tail bone.

"Ara," Kushina exclaimed in shock. "Twelve years old and seven tails already?" She whistled appreciatively. "And I didn't even feel the loss of that portion of my power. Minato-kun did such good work with this seal, however lamentable its necessity."

She watched as her son's short, spiky blond hair grew to his shoulders in much the same manner as his late father's. When it had stopped growing, however, she saw that approximately half of his hair changed colour from blond to red. It was a rather mesmerizing display, if Kushina was honest with herself. A quick inspection told her that the red and blond hairs alternated each other, rather than the left half of his hair remaining blond as she initially suspected it would.

After the transformation was finished and the red electricity had subsided, Naruto stilled once more.

It took another hour for him to wake, time she filled with planning a training regime for her son.

For now, she decided that going fully clothed was most beneficial to her son's education. She could work on seduction resistance later. With a thought and a mild application of chakra she was dressed in her usual attire; tight pants, shirt, metal-plated wooden geta of the same model Jiraiya wore though hers were painted white with a red Uzumaki spiral on it, and her hitae-ate around her right upper arm. The principle was similar to the mythical Banbutsu Sōzō, but unlike aforementioned jutsu the Kitsune version could only ever affect the self and those in direct contact with the kitsune in question. Once the object or person in question left direct contact with the kitsune who had created the object, it disintegrated rapidly. Unfortunately, this included throwing weapons.

Beyond that, however, there was no limit except what chakra reserves or yōki pool, and the user's imagination, imposed. It appeared she was just in time too, for her Naruto-kun was already waking up once more.

Naruto sat up gingerly, softly rubbing the spot that had impacted the wall in an effort to reduce the pain. With a groan he cracked open his eyes, and gazed upon the still-lovely but less nosebleed-inducing visage that was his mother in clothes. "You're out of the seal?" he asked, audibly resisting the urge to stutter.

"Not exactly, Naruto-kun," she replied. "This is a jutsu that I call the Blood Clone, for obvious reasons. It's similar in principle to the Shadow Clone merged with an Earth clone, but it uses blood instead of earth. It allows me to send my consciousness out of the seal and into the clone, rendering the original me inside your seal comatose for as long as I am in this clone. The advantage of this clone is that it is almost as sturdy as the human body and can bleed, making it rather lifelike. It allows me to manifest outside the seal at approximately one-tenth to one-fourth of my power.

"Because it is similar to a Shadow Clone, whatever I experience while in the clone body will flow back to the original me when the clone dispels."

His eyes lit up at the statement in that particular manner she knew indicated a 'eureka' moment. "Is that what that psychic feedback thingy I read on the scroll yesterday is?" he asked.

"Indeed it is," she confirmed with a nod.

"Does that mean I can use hundreds of Kage Bunshin and learn all about everything in moments?"

"No," she curtly said, not wanting her son to entertain dangerous thoughts like that for more than a few moments. "While the clones do transfer memory and experience, and can therefore be used to train the mind, there are diminishing returns. Too many separate subjects at once and the memories will just slip away and you will gain knowledge of nothing instead of everything. I've personally found that the limit is three completely separate subjects at once, or seven related subjects. Any more than that and the mind will not retain any of the knowledge you've gained."

"Aww," Naruto whined with a pout. There went his dreams of becoming crazy knowledgeable overnight.

"The only exceptions are chakra control and muscle memory, which can be trained with clones and fully passed on regardless of what other clones are doing, though even then I don't recommend doing more than one exercise simultaneously. Create a few Kage Bunshin, Naruto-kun," she ordered.

Putting his hands in the modified Ox seal, he yelled the name of the jutsu and five hundred clones appeared. Kushina looked around with and exasperated expression. "Right, definitely need to work on control," she muttered. "I want one hundred of you to start calligraphy exercises in the room down the hallway. One of my own Kage Bunshin will guide you," she said and created two Kage Bunshin, one of which motioned for the designated hundred to follow. When the veritable army of clones had disappeared into the room she and Minato had set aside for fūinjutsu when they built this house she continued, "the other four hundred will follow my second clone to the river and practice water-walking."

"OSSU, KAA-CHAN!" the four hundred copies of her son yelled with picture-perfect salutes.

"Add volume control," she half-muttered.

When these had marched out after her Kage Bunshin she turned to the original. "Alright, Naruto-kun," she said. "We are going to work on your senses."

"Why?" he asked with the most adorable confused expression on his face. "My senses are fine."

"By human standards, yes. By kitsune standards – and indeed that of most demons – you're practically deaf, blind, and your nerves are burned through," she said. "You've not yet noticed because there's a second seal that locked away those that I've not yet taken care of. Prepare yourself," she finished seriously.

Naruto gulped but hardened his expression. Kushina nodded in approval as the fingertips on her right hand lit up with chakra once again. " **Rokkan Fūin: Kai** ," she said as she slammed the fingers home in his stomach.

– –

The moment her hand hit his stomach, Naruto's world became _alive_ , for want of a better word. He could smell things he had never smelled before, he could hear things he had never heard before, _are those individual molecules zooming through space that I hear?_ , and he could feel things he had never felt before; his skin felt super-sensitive and there was a variety of feelings emanating from the village, from something that resembled the fleeting wind to the elusive water to the hard earth, the raging fire, and the crackling lightning and combinations of them all and then there was the blazing inferno coming from the woman just in front of him and –

He blacked out from information overload. His mind simply wasn't ready to accommodate that much sensory input yet.

– – – – _Two days later – – – –_

Once his brain had rebooted from the blackout, it had taken him two full days to control his new senses to the point that he wouldn't immediately be rendered deaf once he left for the village proper, though it did mean that his meeting with jiji was postponed for a few days. He was simply glad that his clones still had the seal on them when he made them or he'd be in a hell of a lot of trouble.

It made him appreciate the danger of neural overload on a completely new level. On another note, clones apparently didn't dispel upon the creator being knocked unconscious, which meant that their chakra networks were completely separate from the caster. He'd have to investigate how the memory transfer worked later.

He created another wave of two hundred clones to augment the handful of the original clones still active. "One hundred of you work on water walking, sixty of you work on senses, ten each, and the rest work on calligraphy," he ordered. Mom had said that she'd teach him the sealing arts if his calligraphy was perfect and because it was technically a clan technique he did not even need permission from his jōnin-sensei!

While the clones rushed off to their assigned duties, the original walked into the garden, intent on finding his mother. He did not have to search long, as soon as he exited the house his mother – still exuding that aura of a blazing inferno – walked out from between the plants she had been tending to. Twelve years without maintenance had left the garden a mess.

"Good morning, kaa-chan," he greeted her brightly. It was still rather hard to believe, truth be told; _he had a mother!_

"Ohayo, musuko-kun," she returned in the same tone. "Let me put the tools away before we start today, okay?"

"Sure," he said. "Outside or inside?"

"Outside," she answered as she walked into the house – was that just his imagination or did she shake her delectable posterior just that bit more? – and placed her gardening tools in the hallway closet. Within moments, she had joined him outside on the porch.

"All right Naruto-kun, stand back a bit, 'kay?" she asked and he dutifully stepped back a few paces.

His mother bit her thumb and raced through five handseals before slamming her bloodied hand on the floor, spreading a large sealing array across its surface. " **Kuchiyose: Amatsukajiya: Ōetsu!** "

A large cloud of smoke erupted from the sealing array that had appeared on the floor. Naruto watched with wide eyes as the smoke cleared to reveal the strangest-looking man he had ever seen in his short life. His skin was dark, a trait only appearing in Konoha if Kumo parentage was involved, he had thick black hair styled in such a way that it looked to grow diagonally from his head, the oddest sunglasses he'd ever seen, shiny blue lenses with a bright yellow frame, and a stylish white suit that somehow complemented it all.

When only thin wisps of the smoke remained, the newcomer looked around in confusion and his brows furrowed in confusion once he saw Naruto, complete with tails and ears. A spark of recognition lit up in his eyes when he spotted his mother.

"Kushina-chan?" the man asked.

"Indeed, Etsu-kun," she confirmed. "How have you been, old friend?"

"Man, am I glad to see you," he exclaimed with a relieved sigh as he stepped forward to engulf his mother in a hug. Naruto barely held back a growl, before he adopted a confused expression. Why did he want to growl?

"You may want to release me now, Etsu-kun," his mother said teasingly. "Musuko-kun looks like he wants to rip you apart."

"Does he now?" the man, apparently called Etsu, asked, but didn't let go of her. "And can he?"

"He's twelve and has seven tails. I'm pretty sure you'd win on combat experience _only,_ " she replied. The eyes belonging to the blond widened once again. What did his mother mean, 'he has seven tails'? Part of him wanted to look back to find out if he had actual tails, but the other part that wanted to keep the blacksmith in sight won.

"I noticed that," Etsu said dryly, releasing the hug.

"Allow me to introduce you, then," Kushina said. "Naruto, this is my old friend Ōetsu, the best blacksmith in all the realms."

"You flatter me, Kushina-chan," the blacksmith in question responded with a minor blush.

"Etsu-kun, this is my son, Naruto."

"Pleased to meet you," Ōetsu said pleasantly.

"Charmed," Naruto replied curtly. A grin appeared on the visage of Ōetsu and he muttered, "as expected of a male kitsune according to the stories," softly enough that Naruto was sure he was not on the list of intended recipients. Ōetsu turned toward Kushina, a serious expression on his face.

"I take it the time is now, Kushina-chan?" Ōetsu asked.

"Indeed it is," she confirmed with a short nod.

"Alrighty then, Naruto come here. I've got a present for you," the blacksmith said with a grin. Kushina scowled.

"Don't act like this is anything other than a commission from me, Etsu- _kun_ ," she said, stressing the honorific to get across her desired message. She'd given him a crash-course of demonic alliances and friendships yesterday, and he now knew that this meant that their families were friendly, which in demonic terms meant that they weren't actively trying to kill each other. From the nervous expression appearing on the blacksmith's face for a brief moment before it flattened back into the serious if somewhat cheerful visage, the message was received in the spirit it was given.

"Right. Doesn't change that Naruto has to come here, though," Ōetsu said. Naruto cautiously walked forward until he was only two metres from the other male. The blacksmith responded by grabbing a scroll from a sleeve and opening it with a minor application of blood, courtesy of a bitten thumb.

With a poof, a katana as long as Naruto was tall appeared in the blacksmith's hands. The sheath was a dark blue, the hilt a lighter shade of the same colour, but it was the guard that caught Naruto's attention. He'd seen katana before, but none with a guard in the shape of a bronze four-point star.

"Alright, listen up, these are the most important words you'll ever hear in your life, got it?" The serious tone in which the blacksmith said those words, so at odds with his earlier laid-back one, drew the notice and undivided attention of the fledgling seven-tailed kitsune.

"This sword is my masterpiece. Nothing I've created before matches it, nothing I will ever create will surpass it, and only a small handful of blades even come close in the history of the Outer, Northern, Western, Eastern, and Southern Lands, only four of which currently have wielders. You may be familiar with the Northern shark-skin sword, Samehada?"

Naruto drew a blank. It must have shone through in his eyes for Ōetsu continued without much delay.

"Unlike all the other swords, this blade has achieved true sapience, and gained even a spirit; though her name is for you to work out. Even Samehada and its nine sister blade only ever achieved sentience. Kyūbi fang, generously donated by your mother, Dragon scale, and Chimera horn combine to form this blade, the blade that will aid in holding back your developing demonic power from destroying everything around you as it did for your mother nearly a century ago when she first came into her power, though Inari-sama was around then to keep it from getting out of hand."

Naruto swallowed. Before he could comment, the older male went on, "Such is the curse of all Hanyō born to Daiyōkai such as your mother. This sword was tailor-made to your power, and it should perform more than adequately in keeping your demonic nature from killing all you hold dear.

"The sword has three stages, each with abilities of their own. The only thing I am at liberty to say about them is a single word; ice."

"Ice?"

"Ice. Everything else will be explained by the spirit residing in your sword, once it's completed anyway."

Both red-heads raised an eyebrow. The sword had been slightly more than twelve and a half years in the making and it wasn't complete yet?

"Relax," the man said with a wave of his hand, "all you need to do to complete it is expose it to your blood and chakra, binding the blade to you, and only you. Not even your children will be able to wield this blade once it has bonded."

Ōetsu unsheathed the sword, revealing a blade covered in hundreds of seals. He held out the sword for Naruto to take, who did so with extreme care.

The partial blond sat down in a meditative state, channelled chakra through his left hand and ran the hand through with the 140 cm long blade.

The world seemed to freeze over before it shattered into hundreds of tiny fragments, revealing a frozen landscape of such beauty he did not have words capable of describing it. In the distance he could see the outlines of literal mountains of ice, while the whitish-blue plains in between himself and the far-off mountains were filled with moving animals a shade lighter in colour and towering obelisks that appeared to be made from a single chunk of ice each. There appeared to be butterflies flying around in the sky, but when one landed on an outstretched finger it was revealed that the butterfly was actually made completely from ice. He suspected that the other animals were made from ice as well.

A loud roar sounded from overhead, and Naruto turned his gaze skyward. "Woooaaaah," he said with reverence in his voice at the sight that greeted him.

A white dragon, _dragon,_ was flying above him in an intricate pattern before rapidly descending and landing with an earth-shattering thump – or was the proper term here ice-shattering? – a dozen metres from him.

Naruto stood up to walk towards it, but stopped when the dragon started to emit a white glow. Not bright enough to hurt, but he closed his eyes regardless. When he felt the light show had stopped, he re-opened his eyes and blushed fiercely. What was with him and beautiful women lately?

The woman in question was a voluptuous woman; generous breasts – though he absently noted that his mother's were still bigger, but not by a lot –, long hair that looked to be a shade or two darker than Sakura-chan's, brilliant emerald eyes, and 'dem legs', to use one of Kiba's phrases. It seemed appropriate enough in the situation.

The woman's clothing befitted the environment, her winter's dress a soft shade of blue that blended with the ice surrounding the pair. The entire picture was completed by a pair of icy wings jutting from the woman's shoulder blades.

"Woah," he repeated. A light blush appeared on the woman's face.

"Thank you, Naruto-kun. I must admit, you look decidedly more delicious than last week," she said.

"Are you the sword's spirit?" he asked. It looked very much like she was, but it never hurt to have confirmation, right?

"I am," she said with a nod. "Though that is not all of me. Because you were already born when the sword was commissioned, and at the urging of Omoikane-sama and Tenjin-sama, when Shinigami-sama was summoned into this realm, the Northern Lands, he bestowed a gift upon you that was tied to your very soul; me.

"The Kyūbi fang donated by your mother for use in the sword worked as a beacon for my energy, my body, to stay while my consciousness made its home in your soul."

She sat down in seiza in front of him. "I am ."

Naruto frowned. He had seen her lips move, but no sound came forth from her mouth after she said 'I am'.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" he asked.

She frowned before shrugging. "It seems that you are not yet ready to wield the true me. No matter, you will in time.

"Now, before you go, there are two things I must say; the first is that this is your soulscape, not your mindscape. Despite their functional similarity, they are not the same; your mother cannot visit here. I can, however, enter your mindscape with impunity, even though I can't leave it like your mother can. I am tied far too closely to you to ever leave.

"The second is that I am your companion just as you are mine, our souls are intertwined until the end of time. And quite frankly, I think that the pair of us will be the most disgustingly overpowered pair in the history of the realms," she finished her monologue.

He grinned, he quite liked the sound of that. Disgustingly overpowered meant that he would be able to protect those he held and would hold dear, for he didn't doubt that the list would expand with time. It had at his eighth, it had just a few days ago, why would the future not hold such an expansion?

"For now, though, you have to return to the overworld, I'm sure your mother is quite anxious to speak to you," she said.

She kissed him lightly on the lips. "Until next time, Naruto-kun," she said as she underwent the mesmerizing transformation back into the beautiful white dragon.

The frozen landscape seemed to melt away, revealing his prone body being fuzzed over by his mother with the weird blacksmith guy watching in the back.

His mother didn't let him go for another half hour, despite numerous attempts from him to convince her he was all right.

– – – – _Three Days Later – – – –_

Naruto walked into the living room after his mother had called him here. Things had calmed down over the previous day, after the most pressing issues had been brought down manageable levels through dedicated meditation and generous amounts of Kage Bunshin. That is to say, his brain wasn't in danger of overloading at the drop of a hat from sensory input should he move around in Konoha and unless someone deliberately pissed him off he wouldn't fly into a killing rampage.

"Alright Naruto-kun, it's time for you to get the story you wanted," his mother said with the most forcibly neutral expression he'd seen her wear yet. Not that that said a lot, he had only met her face-to-face three days ago after all.

Naruto swiftly sat himself down and focused the entirety of his attention on his mother.

"This story starts almost exactly one hundred and ten years before today with my birth. I was born Uzumaki Kushina, the older sister of Mito, who went on to marry Senju Hashirama. I was normal in every way by Uzumaki standards, except one; I had a disease that would not allow me to live past my sixth birthday because we didn't have the medical knowledge to treat it. My parents didn't particularly like that," she said with a sad smile. It was similar to the one jiji wore when he remembered old friends, in his opinion.

"They prayed to Inari-sama for aid, and they got it when I was five. Inari-sama's oldest daughter, Akane, was dying, so Inari-sama bonded the two of us together since practically all human diseases are burned away with Yōki exposure; it's why you're so poison resistant. You have the standard Daiyōkai Hanyō package of Yōki and human Chakra, which will paint a large target on your back. People _don't like_ Daiyōkai Hanyō in general. Too much potential for overwhelming power."

"Human chakra?" Naruto interjected.

"Yes. Human chakra is made from Yin and Yang. Mental and Phyiscal. Form without energy and energy without form. Demon chakra is made from Yōki, with Reiryoku as a separate energy. Yin and Reiryoku are two names for the exact same energy, by the way. Yōki is more powerful, but is rigid. It will allow change into one element, and will stay that way. Mixing with Reiryoku makes it more flexible, but it is not easy so extremely few demons ever do so. Yang is extremely flexible, and mixing with Yin rigidifies it so that if it is transformed to an element it won't immediately fall apart into raw energy. Pure reiryoku manipulation is _rare_ to the point that only three demonic clans do so, one of which is the kitsune.

"We're getting off track," she said. "After the infusion, I was taken from my parents to be trained. The deal Inari-sama struck with my parents was that I would take over the guard of Fire Country, the Northern Home of the Kitsune, as the new Kyūbi, filling the void his dying daughter was about to leave. I was allowed to return and visit my parents quite often, but Inari-sama _was_ grooming me to take over the protection of Fire Country so I rarely did so.

"Twenty years after I was born, and five years after I'd completed my training under Inari-sama because time flows very strangely in Inari-sama's realm, the very first ninja village was founded. I watched as my sister, who I barely knew because she wasn't born until I started my training, married Senju Hashirama shortly after Konoha was founded by the alliance of Uchiha and Senju.

"Shortly after that I met my first mate and had your older sister, Kimiko, who will be celebrating her ninetieth birthday this year. I decided to keep my distance from everyone so I could properly raise her. The next few decades were rather quiet, truth be told. Sure, there were two human wars, but as the Kitsune never suffered from either of them, I didn't have a reason to interfere." She sighed. "Perhaps I should have, I don't know." She shook her head. "It won't do to dwell on that.

"It was during the second of these wars that I decided to visit my parents' graves back in Uzushio. They had died shortly after my last visit because of a wasting disease they'd kept secret until it was far too late to treat them." A nostalgic smile appeared on her face. "Stubborn to the last, like true Uzumaki." She shook her head again to get her thoughts back on track. "It was supposed to be a rather routine trip of mourning, so I assumed the form of my younger self in order to not let anyone know I was, in fact, the Kyūbi.

"I should have remembered that _routine_ trips and missions are the first to go to hell in a hand basket, for Uzushio was attacked and destroyed by a coalition of Kumo, Kiri, and Iwa on the second day of my visit. We gave better than we got, and the army of a hundred thousand versus less than three thousand was whittled down to twenty-thousand. Shortly before the KKI Alliance breached our walls, most of the women that weren't en route to be evacuated killed themselves to be spared the indignity of rape. The rest turned themselves into living bombs to take some of the enemy with them to the grave while saving them from the same indignity." She was so caught up in her memories at this point that she completely missed the stars in the eyes of her son when he heard of the sheer level of badass exhibited by his late clan. Sure, he would miss not being able to properly meet his clan, but they went out the way he himself had always wanted to go out – by his own choice, and with style.

"They took out another four thousand enemy shinobi in their final detonations. To keep up the façade, I allowed myself to be escorted to Konoha with the other refugees and soon joined Konoha's shinobi program." A wistful expression appeared on her face. "It was there that I first met Minato.

"We didn't get along, at first. I thought him a wuss, he thought me a boy in a girl's body. I didn't do much to correct him at the time, I was too busy beating up bullies," she said with a somewhat sheepish grin. He grinned as well. Beating up bullies was a perfectly acceptable way to pass the time.

"That changed when Minato was ten. I had, of course, been slowly ageing my human form to not stand out, which had the side-effect of Kumo shinobi thinking I was a jinchūriki like you, rather than _actually a Bijū_. During the month's lull between the second and third round of the Chūnin Exams that were hosted in Konoha at the time, they found me, slapped a high-power Yōki suppressor on me and carried me away. I'll admit to being caught completely off-guard, which was enough for the Yōki suppressor to take hold, though it was only geared for seven tails, not nine. It wouldn't have held until Kumo, but Minato didn't know that.

"Minato saw me being carried away, and didn't think twice before sprinting after them and beating them up, despite them being genin and him not even being graduated yet. Naturally, once he tore off the Yōki suppressor I joined him in kicking Kumo ass."

Naruto nodded. "Naturally. A question if I may," he said. When he received a nod he hesitantly asked, "is this Minato my father?"

"He is," she confirmed. "Now shush, the real reason for me being in here and not out there raising you comes soon."

Naruto snapped his mouth shut with an audible click. _I know my father's name! Now where have I heard the name Minato before..._

"Soon after we graduated, now the best of friends and maybe even closer, and your father was assigned Jiraiya of the Sannin as his teacher, along with Hyūga Hizashi and Inuzuka Tsume, while I was apprenticed to Tsunade because I was pretty skilled with medical jutsu, the basics of which were still taught when I attended the Konoha Academy.

"When we were thirteen, Minato and I received our promotions to Chūnin, and I decided to tell him about the real me. To say he was shocked is a massive understatement, but he accepted me, in spite of all the horrible stories about the Kyūbi floating around. I marked him as my mate then and there, and promised him I would help him achieve his ambitions and bear him as many children as time would allow.

"As you may be aware, promises are binding to kitsune. If we give our word, others can expect us to adhere to it unless the other party reneges on it first, which is why we don't give them lightly, and watch our wording when we do. In this case, I fulfilled both my promises; I gave him the son he wanted, and I helped him achieve the right to wear the Hokage Hat."

She stopped and gazed directly into his eyes, as if waiting for him to make a connection. _Minato... Hokage Hat... wait, my father was the – "Yondaime?!"_ he exclaimed in shock.

"That's right, musuko-kun," she confirmed brightly. "Now, that _is_ an S-rank secret," she continued seriously. "If you thought you had it bad, remember that the civilians of Konoha are _untrained_. Iwa and Kumo assassins are definitely _not._ "

Naruto nodded absently with a somewhat paler than normal face, still in shock. _My father was the Yondaime!_ _How cool is that!_

While Naruto was thinking, the visage of his mother twisted. Lips were pulled back, her eyes narrowed, her brows furrowed, and an incandescent rage appeared in the twin pools of brilliant amethyst. It was an expression that would have many people soiling their pants in fear if it had been aimed at them.

Being the focus of the anger of an Uzumaki woman was _not_ something a sane man wanted.

"Now," she continued, her voice close to a growl, grabbing the attention of her son once more. "We had a few good years, but a week after you were born, just after my return from commissioning the sword Etsu-kun gave to you, _HE_ came."

Naruto recoiled from the pure venom in her voice when his mother said the word 'he'. Kushina's expression softened slightly when she saw his reaction, but thinking about that man and what he had done never failed to make her angry and vow revenge.

"It was rather foolish of me to travel so swiftly after your birth, but I wanted to commission the sword as soon as possible, to potentially have it ready for you at your seventh birthday, when I would be starting to teach you the art of the blade. I was not yet recovered from your birth, and would not be for another month, but I took the trip regardless.

"When I returned, severely weakened by the journey, I was attacked by a man I thought long dead, killed by my brother-in-law only a decade after the village's founding. A man wielding an _upgraded_ Mangekyō Sharingan, a concept I didn't think possible but that apparently _was_.

"His name was Uchiha Madara. His **Tsukuyomi** , not a particularly nice genjutsu to begin with, trapped me in my weakened state to be mentally tortured for what felt like weeks before I lost all reason and reverted to my full demonic form."

His jaw was introduced to the floor when his mother mentioned the hated name. _Uchiha Madara is supposed to be dead!_

"Your father knew something was wrong the moment he saw my full form, but nothing he did worked to snap me out of my Sharingan-induced rage. Eventually, he was forced to summon the Shinigami to seal me within you, in hopes that that would break the genjutsu. It did, but at the cost of his life."

Naruto just nodded silently. What could he say to a story like that? He felt his mother wrap her arms around her, swiftly followed by her tails. She pressed her lips to the top of his head and he could faintly hear her mumble, "I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you, musuko, to hold you as you should have been held, to care for you as you should have been cared for, to love you as a mother should love."

He could feel the tears dropping from her eyes, and he wrapped his arms around her tightly, as if to say without words that he had forgiven her.

Truly, he had. It was Madara's fault she wasn't there, not her own. It wasn't her fault that someone with a petty grudge against the village chose to enslave her to destroy it, nor was it her fault that the village had suffered. It wasn't like she was thinking rationally on that night, right?

They remained in that position for a few minutes before her tears dried up and they released each other.

"Ara, Naruto-kun, what do you say we go and visit Saru-jiji?" his mother said with a watery smile.

"Sure, kaa-chan," he replied. Anything to get his mind off the recent revelations for a few moments.

The pair took to their feet, the elder casting an illusion over both their ears and tails. Naruto looked at the space where her tails were, and raised an eyebrow in confusion as he could still see the tails quite clearly, though there was a red haze surrounding them, and if he focused on the haze the tails seemed to disappear.

"You're probably wondering why you can still see the tails. I'll explain later, but it will suffice for now to say that it is because of an ancient pact that applies to illusions cast over the ears and tails."

Naruto nodded, and accepted the fact that she would explain in due time. "Shall we?" he asked instead.

His mother grabbed his shoulder, and in a swirl of leaves they vanished from the home.

– – – – _Current Day – – – –_

To say that the Hokage was pleased with his friend's reappearance and so very much _not_ pleased to learn of the continued existence of Uchiha Madara was like saying the ocean was merely wet.

Naruto was brought out of his reminiscence when the door to the classroom opened and Team Seven's jōnin-sensei entered. The man wore the standard Konoha jōnin flak jacket in forest green, but Naruto got the impression that this individual was as far from the average jōnin as a jōnin was from a five year old civilian child. The rest of his attire did nothing overt to reinforce this opinion; a face mask, hitae-ate slanted to cover one eye, standard shinobi pants – even if they were higher quality than most – and a standard shinobi vest underneath the jacket.

Absolutely nothing he wore, except the face mask and slanted headband pinged Naruto's senses as anything other than 'average', which in itself made him wary. The Hokage would not have assigned an average jōnin to be the sensei of both the village Jinchūriki and the last loyal wielder of the infamous Sharingan. In addition to this, it was a barely-kept secret around the Hokage Tower that the Sandaime had been grooming him to take over his spot when Naruto had reached sufficient maturity.

Their sensei turned a lazy eye toward the three children, getting two murder-filled and one assessing glare in return. Evidently finding what he was looking for in his two teammates, the cyclops' sole visible eye turned towards him, and they swapped measuring glances.

Their sensei gave a barely visible nod before he clapped his hands. "My first impression of you is... you're boring. Meet me on the roof in five minutes," he said before he vanished in a swirl of leaves.

Naruto stood up and swiftly walked towards the door, pausing at its frame because his prank sense had just started pinging something fierce.

"What is it, dobe?" Sasuke asked bluntly, having followed the blond.

Naruto didn't respond, but grabbed a kunai and cut a wire barely visible even to his enhanced eyesight. If he hadn't been setting traps that were catching ANBU since he was six, he would have missed it. Two seconds later a tile ahead – the tile they would have been close to had they tripped the wire and continued walking – exploded, spreading paint everywhere in a three foot radius.

"It seems Kakashi-sensei has already started teaching us," he simply said. Sasuke grunted, but Naruto had enough experience decoding Uchiha-style grunting to know that he was pleased the 'dobe' wasn't a total dead weight.

"How do you know his name is Kakashi, Naruto?" Sakura asked curiously, and far calmer than he had expected her to be in the presence of 'her Sasuke-kun'. "He hasn't introduced himself yet, and I doubt you can predict the future when not even Sasuke-kun can."

"That's because I was at the Academy when he did his mandatory year-long stint as a teacher, the year before you two started the Academy, Sakura-chan" Naruto replied calmly. The past two weeks had forced him to re-evaluate his life, and he had come to the realization that while he still had a crush on Sakura-chan, she didn't return his feelings at all. He would still try to win her over, of course, because he was stubborn like that. If she grew up to look like his sword's spirit, it was going to be so very much worth it. "His trademark phrase is 'look underneath the underneath'."

"Oh, so _that's_ where it came from," Sakura said.

Without further ado, the trio walked out of the classroom and onto the stairs that led to the roof. They kept a weary eye for additional traps, moving barely faster than normal walking speed. Unfortunately for them, the walk from the classroom to the roof of the Academy took longer to complete than the five minutes given to them. They didn't make it in time, and paid for their tardiness. When they were a few metres from their sensei, who was leaning against the railing reading an orange book and giggling like a pre-teen schoolgirl, he used his free hand to form a one-handed handseal.

A rather large sealing array inscribed on the roof lit up, freezing the three aspiring genin in place before releasing paint bombs at the trio. "Lesson one," he drawled. "Early is on time, on time is late, and late is dead."

He released the three pissed off genin from the array. "One should _always_ check for traps. If the party you're meeting is late or you are the late party to a meeting, be mindful of traps and ambushes. It's not unheard of for enemy villages to set up meetings only to ambush the shinobi they're meeting. I used the three hours I was apparently late to set up the array you were just trapped by."

Despite their glares and irritated states of mind because their outfits were ruined just to make a point, the three genin could see the wisdom in the advice and nodded their now partially orange heads.

"Maa, Maa, don't worry, the paint should wash out without problem," he said with a dismissive wave as he clicked the book shut.

"Now then, I think we should introduce ourselves. You know, name, likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams for the future, all that stuff."

"It's rather rude to demand introductions without introducing yourself, sensei, why don't you go first?" Sakura said calmly, and the three males frowned. Where had the fangirl Sakura gone? Did someone replace Sakura with a body double while they weren't looking?

"You have a point, pinky," Kakashi admitted, while silently wondering why her file mentioned her as a fangirl when she obviously wasn't. "I am Hatake Kakashi, I have a few likes, there isn't much I dislike these days, and my dreams... my dreams for the future are not for your ears yet," he concluded with a giggle. The three genin looked at him with three near-identical deadpan expressions.

' _Typical Kakashi, all we learned was his name.'_

"Why don't you go next then, pinky?" he said with a finger pointing towards Sakura.

"My name is Haruno Sakura, I like... My dream for the future...," blushes and giggles filled the silences. Kakashi groaned softly in tandem with Sasuke.

"Right," Kakashi said soft enough that only Naruto heard, and he was pretty sure Kakashi didn't intend for him to hear. "So the file _does_ hold true. Note to self: introduce to Anko and Inoichi." In a louder voice, he asked for her dislikes. _'Inoichi? Gotta ask kaa-chan who that is.'_

"INO-BUTA," she yelled, causing the three males to wince at her volume.

"Next up, duck-butt," Kakashi drawled. Sasuke glowered at his sensei but stayed the scorching remark that was sure to be on his tongue. Apparently Sasuke had also noticed the sheer mediocrity emanating from their sensei and drawn the conclusion that he was anything but. Whether that was because he was convinced that he required only the best teachers as an Uchiha 'elite', or because of the accurate conclusion that in the Shinobi world, the more average someone appeared to be, the more dangerous they usually were, Naruto didn't know.

"I am Uchiha Sasuke," he said moodily, and both genin aspirants could swear they saw hearts fly from Sakura's eyes in Sasuke's direction. Sasuke suppressed a shiver. "I like training, I dislike fangirls and those who waste my time, and my dream is to kill _that man_."

Naruto was impressed in spite of himself. Not even thirteen and he could put almost as much venom in his voice when referring to an individual as his century-old Daiyōkai mother. It was well-known that the Uchiha clan was massacred two months before he turned nine, and it appeared Sasuke knew who did the deed. Sakura swooned at his perceived coolness. Did she have multiple personalities?

Kakashi frowned lightly, but nodded regardless. "And you, whiskers."

"I am Uzumaki Naruto," he answered clamly. "I like training and being in the garden, I dislike arrogant idiots who can't look beyond their hatred. My hobbies include gardening. My dream for the future is to utterly destroy those that threaten those I hold dear, past, future and present."

Kakashi nodded again, frown still firmly in place. Sasuke looked at Naruto with a strange expression in his eyes. Sakura just raised an eyebrow, clearly not impressed.

"Right then, meet me at training ground 7 at 0600 tomorrow for your genin exam."

The three genin blinked thrice before Sakura asked what was on all their minds. "But sensei, we already took the genin exam."

"Nope," Kakashi drawled. "You took _a_ genin exam. This is _the_ genin exam. This is the test that determines if you're actually worth the rank of genin, or if you get sent back to the Academy for a year," he explained. His eye shut and formed a sort of inverted 'u', evidently some sort of smile. "Don't worry too much, there's only a 66% chance of failing it," he said cheerily.

Sakura paled. Sasuke gained a determined glint in his eyes, while Naruto displayed no outward reaction to the news. On the inside, however, he was furiously thinking. ' _There's something wrong there, but what? Maybe kaa-chan has the answer.'_

"Ja ne, see you tomorrow. I recommend not eating breakfast," Kakashi said before vanishing in a swirl of leaves.

Naruto turned to his two teammates. "Wanna go grab something to eat?" he asked.

Sasuke grunted a 'no' and walked away without looking back. "Sasuke-kun!" Sakura exclaimed before she ran after him, leaving Naruto alone on the rooftop.

"Guess not," he said with a shrug. As he walked off the side of the Academy building he wondered what the jōnin had in store for him tomorrow.

One thing he felt fairly comfortable claiming; whatever it was, it was bound to be extremely troublesome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> – Translations courtesy of jisho dot org:
> 
> Musuko: Son
> 
> Akuma Heitei (平定): Kai; Demon Suppresion: Release
> 
> Uzushio no Kuni: Country of the Whirling Tides
> 
> Kawaii: Cute
> 
> Hi no Kuni: Country of Fire
> 
> Dobe: dead-last (lit: lowest ranking, worst (in a test))
> 
> Akuma Kokubi no Jutsu: Demon Head Technique
> 
> Shaku: unit of length, approximately 30.3cm.
> 
> Onipō: Chishio Bunshin; Demon Art: Blood Clone. The use of chishio (血汐) rather than chi (血, blood) specifies that the blood has been spilled from the body.
> 
> Rokkan Fūin: Kai; Six Senses Seal: Release
> 
> Kuchiyose: Amatsukajiya: Ōetsu; Summoning: Heavenly Blacksmith: Ōetsu
> 
> Omoikane: God of Wisdom and Intelligence
> 
> Tenjin: God of Scholarship, originally (and literally) Sky God.
> 
> Seiza: proper sitting.
> 
> Tsukuyomi: Moon Reader
> 
> Mangekyō Sharingan: Kaleidoscope Copy Wheel Eye.
> 
> Buta: pig
> 
> Reiryoku: Spiritual Power
> 
> – – – –
> 
> A/N: The scene with the blacksmith was inspired by Chridz's A Foxes Tale (once again). Ōetsu and the blade, as you may have guessed, originate in Bleach, my ownership of which is covered in the disclaimer above. It should be noted, however, that the similarity with Bleach ends with the blade's looks and the principles underlying its function. The spirit that inhabits it, and the powers it grants Naruto, are wholly my own, to the best of my knowledge.


	3. The Real Genin Exam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3, mostly from Kakashi's point of view.
> 
> Version 2.0 (April 2015). Changelog: modified dialogue a little to keep characters in-character. Modified mention of the two Councils oft mentioned in fanon to something more in line with what I consider realistic for the setting.

The afternoon sun was glaring down on the buildings and residents of Konoha. The village bathed in the fiercest glare the sun could dish out, and everyone felt the heat resulting from the ferocity of its gaze.

That is, everyone except for the handful of individuals currently gathered in the Hokage Office. The person who held the title that granted the office its name saw the thermal distortions in the air and was exceedingly glad that his office had climate-controlling seals. The rest lamented the fact that they had to leave the cool air soon because this was not supposed to be a lengthy meeting. Just confirm whether the teams assigned to them passed or failed and then go back to their respective residences, desperately trying to keep cool on the hottest day in the past five years.

"Alright, everyone," the aged Hokage said to the seven jōnin in his office. There would have been nine but team 5 was failed yesterday because it was obviously not going to work out and the other was Kakashi. Sure, the man had improved since he taught at the Academy, but it was still unlikely he appeared within an hour of the scheduled meeting time. "Test results," he declared, deciding not to wait for the tardy jōnin. "Gemna?"

"Team 1 fails."

"Raidō?"

"Team 2 passes."

"Aoba?"

"Team 3 passes."

"Kō?"

"Team 4 fails."

"Kunugi?"

"Team 6 fails."

"Kurenai?"

"Team 8 passes."

"Asuma?"

"Team 10 passes."

"Sorry I'm late, bratlings held me up," a not-so-apologetic voice sounded from the windowsill. The few that bothered to look towards him, which did not include the Hokage, saw that he was clutching his orange book to his chest like one would cradle a royal baby. A few eyebrows rose to meet hairlines at the sight, what had happened to make him stop reading it?

"Glad you could join us Kakashi, and within twenty minutes of the planned starting time too," Hokage-sama said with a _Glare_ that let Kakashi know Hokage-sama was more displeased than usual for his tardiness. Behind his mask and headband, Kakashi frowned. He could feel in his bones the amount of work he was going to need to do was going to go up sharply sometime in the near future. "Team 7?" Hokage-sama asked pointedly.

"Team 7 passes."

Hokage-sama allowed his eyes to widen, and the sound of Asuma's unlit cigarette striking the floor could be easily heard in the aftermath of Kakashi's announcement.

"Are you alright, Kakashi?" Asuma asked hesitantly as he bent to pick up his cigarette. It was well-known that, following his mandatory stint as a teacher, he had sworn never to teach anyone below chūnin ever again.

"Care to share the details, Kakashi?" Genma asked before he could answer. "I'm curious what your brats could have done to make you accept them as your students."

Kakashi seemed to shrink in on himself, heightening the curiosity of the seven jōnin and one Hokage in the room. "It was horrible," he uttered in a terrified voice while clutching his book even tighter to his chest. "They ganged up on me and threatened the precious!" he said, yelling somewhat hysterically at the end.

"They got their hands on your smut and got an Uchiha-backed threat to burn it?" Kurenai asked with a raised brow.

Kakashi nodded vigorously with a maniacal look in his eye. Kurenai snorted. "Remind me to buy lunch or dinner for them one of these days."

"Tell me," Hokage-sama ordered, lighting his pipe. "This I want to hear."

He didn't overly want to, but it was an order from Hokage-sama and defying orders, technically _any_ order, from Hokage-sama was treason and could see him in prison for the rest of his life or executed. Likely execution; he knew too much.

He nodded reluctantly, and started his tale.

– – – – _That morning – – – –_

He stepped into the clearing that was training ground seven at exactly 0800, two hours later than he had told the three to meet here. This was to impart upon them a small measure of the art of patience – his files said that none of the three were particularly adept in that field –, and to allow for one of them to get a bright idea and use what he'd taught them yesterday to set up traps. Even if the traps available to them were merely basic traps involving wires, levers, and perhaps pressure plates, sometimes they were enough. Gari, former jōnin of Iwa and ex-leader of the Demolition Corps, found that out himself when a simple wire-kunai trap had pierced his skull during a routine hunter-nin mission that had come across him somewhere in Nami.

Granted, he was severely weakened from multiple elemental dragons and distracted because of the Chidori hurling at him, but it was a simple wire-kunai trap they'd managed to set during the early stages of combat that dealt the killing blow. The basics sometimes truly were the best, and he thanked the little monsters at the Academy for reinforcing that, even if he never wanted to see them ever again in this life or the next.

If they'd asked around they'd know the basics of the bell test since it was used by his teacher, his teacher's teacher, his teacher's teacher's teacher _and_ his teacher's teacher's teacher's teacher – in order, Minato-sensei, Jiraiya-sama, Sandaime-sama, and Shodai-sama –, _all_ of them having taught team 7. He doubted they had though, they _were_ genin after all. With this information in hand, though it was not guaranteed he would use the same test as his teacher before him, they would have time to prepare accordingly. Let it never be said that Hatake Kakashi was unfairly stacking the deck against friendlies. Well, more than it already was by this being an experienced war-veteran jōnin versus three fresh genin, even if one of them displayed skill he shouldn't have had by walking down the side of the Academy yesterday.

Even with that taken into account, this batch didn't look all that promising, much like the last two Hokage-sama had tried to foist off on him in between missions. Two of them, the self-proclaimed avenger and the harpy hadn't noticed his presence yet, while the third was in a meditative state and doing interesting things with leaves. His fingers were outstretched and splayed out wide enough for a leaf to spin rapidly on each fingertip in alternating directions along its length axis. Another leaf lazily spun inside the palm of each hand in the same manner that he had originally used for Rasengan practice, and yet another leaf hovered, perfectly still, over the back of his hand.

It was, truth be told, rather impressive. It certainly was enough justification for the other two to miss his entering the field even if they really should have been more alert. The sole pair of blue eyes, though they had recently taken on a shade of amethyst purple that reminded him so much of Kushina-sama, flashed over to where he was standing before returning to the leaves and a strange sensation of pride surged up within him. Something seemed off about him, though, but he couldn't place it and he was not keen on exposing Obito's Sharingan because of a _genin_ , even if it was sensei's son. Pushing those thoughts aside, he re-focused on the team before him and was not impressed at all, much the same as yesterday. Just in case, he had prepared the paperwork requesting sensei's son as his apprentice if this team failed for whatever reason, though he didn't think the consequences of that would be pretty. He not only had the village Jinchūriki, but the last of the loyal Uchiha – read: natural Sharingan –, plus the daughter of a former Councillor, who lost his life evacuating civilians to the shelters during the Kyūbi attack. Haruno Kizashi had, as a matter of fact, been posthumously made the first official Councillor after the Citizen's and Shinobi councils were created as official governmental institutions after the Kyūbi attack, in order to aid Sandaime-sama in getting the village back on track. Before that, the people the now-legitimate councils represented had just been individuals with more power than Hokage-sama could safely ignore.

He walked to a spot directly behind broody and pinky and clapped his hands. It was honestly quite embarrassing that he had to clap his hands, but he reminded himself that they _probably_ didn't know that channelling chakra to yours ears made them sharper. Not on par with an Inuzuka's natural state, but you could hear all but the lightest of footsteps within fifty metres. He was even not walking on the grasstips – another useful control exercise, that – so that he'd have footsteps in the first place.

Broody and pinky jumped up, startled, and he had to restrain himself from laughing. Genin were so easy to scare it was _hilarious_. Naruto simply responded by dropping the leaves where he sat, probably thinking that his silent amusement, projected through a smirk, was hidden, but it wasn't. It would be best to be cautious, though; pranksters were devious trap-layers, as Iruka had displayed time and again. He was just glad that the kid wasn't capable of fūinjutsu, and suppressed a shiver at the horrors that could erupt when the kid _was_. Luckily, sealing required his permission to be taught if he accepted them – another argument in favour –, unless the kid found some adult Uzumaki somewhere. He rated that occurrence as _extremely_ unlikely, since Kushina-sama had disappeared and the rest was dead to the best of his knowledge.

Deep within his mind, he was already planning a holiday should that ever happen. Perhaps to Yugakure? He'd heard that the hot springs there were of excellent quality, as were their women, their booze, and with his record of S-ranked missions he had literally millions stored away. ANBU life may not be the most healthy to the mental state of their operatives, but it certainly was to the coffers of said operatives.

"YOU'RE LATE!" pinky screeched, and he silently cursed his Inuzuka grandmother. Such tones were no longer crippling as they had been in his youth, but they were _very_ annoying still. The genes had somehow skipped his father, retaliating by appearing within him at the same strength as an Inuzuka trueborn. It pissed Tsume and her parents off something fierce at the time since he could not be made an actual Inuzuka because he was technically the Hatake Heir, and adopting Heirs was not something that was done. That was the same reason Naruto had not been adopted, since he was technically the Uzumaki Heir, and the Uzumaki were technically _royalty_ back in Uzu no Kuni. Technically, as their fiefdom didn't exist anymore after the Uzushio massacre. Kurenai-san had found a loophole and made him a _ward_ of the Yūhi clan, rather than adopting him into the Yūhi.

He noted that he wasn't the only one that was finding the downsides to enhanced sensory perception. Sure, broody had ringing ears because even to normal ears that sort of volume was horrible to the eardrums, but Naruto reacted like he himself had reacted when faced with that sort of volume for the first ten or so times. Which is to say, mild helpings of sakki.

Interesting, that. As a genin, he shouldn't have noticeable sakki even if he was sensei's son. Perhaps the Kyūbi? There were also the implications regarding his auditory sensitivity that he could abuse during the test, but he brushed the thoughts aside for now to give the trio his patented eyesmile.

"Sorry about that, I had to help an old lady cross the street."

_Ah Obito, if only you knew that your bullshit excuses were used to such effect against the next generation of shinobi. You would be beaming with pride before you took Naruto aside and treated him to ramen._ _As_ _an aside, what is it with pranksters and ramen? Kushina-sama loved the stuff, Iruka loves the stuff, Obito loved the stuff, and I've personally guarded Naruto as he wolfed down fourteen bowls of the old Uzumaki special so it's fair to say he loves the stuff as well._

His random thought train would have continued had they not been derailed by pinky.

"LIAR!" she screeched. Truly, screeching was the proper adjective for her voice.

He decided to mimic Naruto and aimed a small amount of sakki her way, which shut her up and shut her up good, since small for him was not-so small for a genin.

Aaah, blessed silence. He stopped emitting sakki and grabbed the two bells from his belt and watched as the three pairs of eyes followed the bells' journey through the air ashe waved them in front of himself. "This test is simple. Your objective is to get these bells from me before this timer, which is set for two hours from now, reaches zero.

"The catch is, of course, that there are only two bells, and three of you. Whoever doesn't get a bell gets sent back to the Academy. In addition to the humiliation of not getting a bell, I will tie the loser to a tree and offer lunches to the other two."

Only two stomachs rumbled and he frowned slightly in disappointment and deeply-buried pride – he wasn't supposed to have favourite as a sensei, after all – that sensei's son hadn't followed his recommendation and skipped breakfast.

"I thought I told you to skip breakfast, blondy," he drawled, piercing sensei's son with a glare.

Said son snorted. "Yeah, but it wasn't an order, rather a recommendation. As it wasn't an order I was under pressure to follow I didn't, and I wouldn't have even if it was. Not to mention kaa-chan would flay me for forgoing breakfast."

Kaa-chan? But the body of Kushina-sama had disappeared and was never recovered. Did he somehow stumble upon her somewhere? And if so, where? He had been informed Naruto disappeared following graduation – he had written Kurenai-san a note mentioning 'secluded training' – but the barrier monitoring team had not noticed Naruto leave Konoha, after he got them to talk using a signed order by Hokage-sama. If his secluded training was with Kushina-sama – which it had to, given the mention of 'kaa-chan' and his absolute refusal to see Kurenai-san as anything other than 'nee-san' – then Kushina-sama had to have been _in Konoha_ the entire time. Which was absurd. The Great Purge would have detected her four years ago, as the sensor-nin scoured the entire village so that any and all ninja and civilians could undergo a Yamanaka scan. The only other option – until his mentioning a mother – was that Kushina-sama was dead and the body burned, like what happened to sensei and to all ninja that died and were brought back no matter their identity.

_Note to self: take Naruto aside afterwards. If Kushina-sama survived I want to know._

"Dobe," broody said, his tone rather biting but with an undercurrent of something he couldn't really place.

"Yes, teme?" sensei's son replied somewhat more coldly than Kakashi personally thought sensei's son had ever talked, but that could easily be attributed to the current situation being rather stressful, as well as any emotional changes having a person Naruto could call 'kaa-chan' in his life could bring. It had the same undercurrent to it, and he felt fairly confident at his identification as the

"You don't have a mother," broody replied bluntly. Kakashi winced a little at the lack of tact that was shown, and readied himself to intervene when he saw Naruto bristle a little before settling down. He did suppose it was a valid question. As far as _anyone_ knew, Naruto was an orphan.

"Obviously I do, because otherwise I wouldn't be here right now," Naruto said with a deadpan expression. "But to actually answer your unspoken question... Circumstances changed and my mother was returned to me," he said, a grin appearing on his face.

While outwardly calm, inside Kakashi reeled from the information. _Kushina-sama is alive?_ He forced that thought and the emotions and questions it brought to a corner of his mind; he could interrogate sensei's son later.

"So yes," he said, getting the test back on track. As much as he wanted to, tests did not administer themselves. "There's a thirty-three percent failure rate guaranteed," he said, and watched as Naruto's eyes lit up in triumph. Had the kid made the connection? Had he realized the key to success?

Only time would tell. "Now, I want you to come at me with everything you've got. Jutsu, weapons, intent to kill, the works," he said with an interested glance at the sword worn upon the back of sensei's son. It seemed impractically long for his frame, but who was he to judge?

"But sensei, we could hurt you," pinky said. He scoffed a little at her misplaced concern.

"If you can," he said with an eyesmile, "then I'll tender my resignation. I wouldn't be much of a jōnin if three fresh graduates could seriously hurt me outside of incredibly divinity-backed miraculous luck."

Pinky at least had the decency to blush. "Ready, set... go," he drawled and activated the timer.

Pinky and broody scattered. Pinky was in the bush at the edge of the clearing – even if he _couldn't_ sense her, her pink hair gave her away –, broody was deeper into the forest, but neither was suppressing their chakra to stop others from detecting them. Yet another thing he'd have to teach them.

Naruto, on the other hand, surprised him. He grabbed the hilt of the sword on his back which caused the sheath to _dissolve_ in a fine watery mist. He briefly wondered how resheathing the blade would work before he had to block the blade with a kunai.

Naruto had swung the sword with surprising strength. He estimated that he had to use a fifth of his strength to keep the blade at bay, though there was a nick in his kunai that essentially reduced it to scrap metal in his opinion. Ninja of his calibre demanded perfection in equipment and even scratches were sometimes reason enough to scrap the kunai or shuriken entirely because the balance was off.

He might as well try and get some use out of it. He threw the kunai at a speed that Naruto should be capable of barely dodging and watched as the blond did nothing of the sort. The knife plunged into his shoulder, and the blond was shrouded in smoke.

Kakashi was reluctantly impressed. He hadn't even noticed that the Naruto he'd been speaking to was a shadow clone. The alternative, smokeless and sealless shadow clone creation under his watchful gaze, was utter madness. Even he, with all his experience creating shadow clones to do tasks ranging from fūinjutsu to grocery shopping still required the seal, though he didn't have to vocalize and created copies without smoke.

That left the question of where Naruto actually was. He hadn't felt... oh. Cheeky little brat couldn't suppress his chakra so he saturated the entire forest area surrounding the clearing in training ground 7 with his chakra so his wouldn't stand out from the ambience. It was far from ideal, but it worked. Very few sensors knew what natural chakra felt like, and most of them were in Konoha thanks to the aid of Jiraiya-sama, so they would have no way to tell if the forest naturally had that signature or not. It did imply knowledge of how sensors worked – knowledge that was guarded heavily – or just spoke of paranoid caution. He was inclined to go with the latter.

He gave them a while to make a plan, and decided to have some fun while he was at it. He reached into a pocket and felt the chakra signatures belonging to pinky and broody tense. His sense was nowhere near the level where he could feel individual emotions and the reason for such, like Mito-sama was capable of according to the stories, but he was skilled enough that he could feel their general mood if they were close by. Whether they were happy, sad, tense, relaxed... that sort of thing.

Where those emotions came from was a blank, whether it was attained vengeance or a won lottery, but in this case he could make a good guess. He felt their signatures change again when he whipped out _Icha Icha_ and picked the story back up from where he had left it the previous day. He giggled as he thought, _Naughty Kimiko-chan, very naugh-_

He could hear the air displacing rapidly behind him with the characteristic swish of a thin object moving at high speed, and ducked under the blade sweeping horizontally through the air above him. In his motion, he lashed out with a foot towards the likely source of the swing and was rewarded with a solid hit and the distinctive sound of air being driven from someone's lungs.

"Not bad, blondy," he drawled. "But not good enough."

The scowl on his face as he retreated back into the brush was hilariously adorable. Absently, he noted that Naruto had been taught the grass-tip walking exercise. He really needed to speak with him about his teacher. If nothing else, he needed to know so that they could synchronize their training.

He decided to put away his precious _Icha Icha_ and get some action into the field. The sooner this test was over, the sooner he could put in the paperwork to make his honorary younger brother his apprentice. Broody would likely be the hardest target of the two, so that meant pinky had the dubious honour of being first. What did her file say about her again?

Ah yes. Sasuke Fangirl and in possession of some form of MPD where the second personality seems to be far more mature and combat-capable, but the triggers, if any, are unknown. Taijutsu below-par, though in possession of bouts of Tsunade-like strength in her punches, genjutsu slightly above-par, ninjutsu practically non-existent outside the Academy Three. He nodded to himself, that would be easy enough. He frowned as the chakra that felt like mud, indicating Water and Earth affinities without the possibility of Wood, move away. He knew it belonged to pinky, but where was she going? A few moments later he had his answer. She was moving towards the object of her affections.

He performed a quick **Shunshin** to a tree ahead of her along the path he projected she would take and leaned against the bark, whipping out his precious while he was at it. With his precious in hand he giggled like a schoolgirl; it gave him the perfect cover to keep an eye on pinky and her actions. He felt her stop close to him. Eventually, she moved away slowly. Curious, he looked over and saw her tip-toeing out in a manner reminiscent of that bunny-starring cartoon they'd been showing on the television lately.

Bugs Bunny or something like that. It had its moments.

He briefly exposed his Sharingan to cast an illusion. He would have cast this one the standard way, but he was not good enough with illusions to do them silently like Kurenai-san unless he used his eye, and this particular illusion worked best when silent. Lightning jutsu, on the other hand... but that was too drastic. He did not want to kill a fellow Leaf inhabitant.

He watched as pinky looked to her left and screamed before falling unconscious. His illusion cancelled itself and he was informed that she saw broody dying in front of her. He chuckled sadistically and continued walking, switching his thoughts to his next target, conveniently identified by the illusion he had just cast.

Time to deal with broody.

He was an Uchiha, and his file mentioned that he had once said that he 'wasn't a kid anymore'. Taken to its logical conclusion, that meant that, at the very least, he had C-ranked shurikenjutsu and a **Katon: Gōkakyū** under his belt. Perhaps even the Phoenix Flower? Itachi also had the Dragon Fire technique and a whole lot more at the same age as broody was now but as he had once heard his fellow ANBU say 'Itachi is fucking bullshit'. More than once, he agreed.

He heard the swishing sound of weapons flying towards him at a relatively high speed for a genin, but chose to pretend being locked in thought. The weapons nailed his side and their thrower smirked... only to lose that smirk when he replaced himself with a log.

Kakashi resolved to do this more often; the expression of a shocked Uchiha was _priceless_. It was a shame he couldn't imprint it into memory with his Sharingan. Broody realized he had just given away his position and fled, but he was faster and blocked him.

"Where do you think you're going, broody?" he asked.

Broody froze before he smirked the Uchiha Smirk©.

"I'm different from those two," broody said.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. Smug pride, arrogance... It was like Fugaku reborn. Considering it was his son and this kid had wanted to impress his father before broody's older brother went mad and killed all of the Uchiha that weren't broody's older brother, broody himself, and Mikoto-san, though the latter would never use chakra again in her life, that was entirely possible.

He'd have to break it from him. "Why don't you prove it? By, say, getting a bell?" he said in a tone that never failed to drive Fugaku mad the few times they spoke.

It once again proved effective on his son. With a yell, broody launched himself forward, forgoing any and all precautionary matters. His taijutsu assault, truth be told, was rather impressive for a fresh graduate, even if said graduate was mostly lost to rage. He had obviously been training in the Interceptor Fist favoured by many Uchiha, modified for Sharingan use, with a smattering of Dragon and Tiger Zodiac styles thrown in to offset the current lack of his clan's famed eyes. His speed and coordination were somewhere around mid-high genin, though he left himself wide open when he struck. He impressed Kakashi enough that he let him get close to the bells.

To actually _get_ the bells he needed to be a) be more stealthy and/or cunning, b) be a lot more skilled, or c) coordinate with the others. He grabbed the outstretched fist after a dodged punch and threw him over his shoulder. To his credit, broody recovered fast. Broody put his hands together and flew through a set of handseals at mid-low genin speed, ending on a Tiger seal. Kakashi responded by putting his hands in a modified Ox and waited for the fire jutsu to be launched and block line of sight.

" **Katon: Gōkakyū no jutsu**."

A large fireball, approximately similar to what Obito was capable of back in the day, was launched towards the jōnin. It was large enough to hide his entire body, so he responded by creating a quick shadow clone and going underground.

Being underground, through either the Underground Fish Projection or the Double Suicide Decapitation that he was currently using, never ceased to be strange. It was comparable to a strange mixture of earth and water with the properties of neither, though he supposed it was somewhat similar to mud. You had to visually confirm the location of your target before you went under, and thus the path you had to travel to them with this jutsu unless you were adept in sensing. He was more adept than most, but that only showed how little sensing actually was taught.

He moved underneath broody and grabbed an ankle before pulling him underground at the same time that he emerged. The effect, when done swiftly enough, was very much like a **Kawarimi**. The end result was broody being stuck up to his neck in the earth while Kakashi stood above ground looking at him. " **Doton: Shinjū Zanshū no jutsu**.

"Being different does not mean you're better," he said seriously, trying to impart a lesson he was sure wasn't getting through to the kid. "There's always someone better, always someone stronger, and always someone faster than you."

Leaving broody in his natural state, that is to say brooding, he went to find the last person on this team... blondy. Uzumaki Naruto. Sensei's son.

He didn't have to search for long. Within seconds he heard the swishing of a blade once again, coming from his right this time. Not in the mood to waste more equipment blocking, one very expensive high-quality kunai was enough, he ducked. "Maa, Maa, so spirited," he drawled upon seeing the third part of this team, though using the word implied a cooperativity between its elements that was currently lacking.

The gritting of teeth was his only reply. After a few more swings of his sword, it was apparent to blondy that he was not going to hit his future sensei. He put his hands in a modified Ox after placing the sword back on his back. The sheath coalesced from water in the atmosphere around the blade. Very curious, that. He'd have to ask about it later.

" **Kage Bunshin no jutsu**."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, though none could see it because he wore his hitae-ate over them. A quick count told him that there were _at least_ sixty clones surrounding him. Sensei's son was not even putting on a show of being winded. _By the Sage_ _, just how much chakra does he have?_

He made a note to himself to work on chakra control with the blond. Starting big would be best. Lava flows, waterfalls, that sort of stuff.

Dispelling the clones was almost insultingly easy, they didn't draw their swords and their taijutsu was... sub-par, to say the least. As he found out after the smoke from the last clone had dissipated, they weren't meant to be good. They were intended as a distraction.

Broody was gone along with Naruto. No doubt the pair were having a good pow-wow on how to get the bells, hopefully with the third member of their team included. He channelled chakra to his ears, and listened intently as the forest became _alive_ , for want of a better word _._ He could hear the far-off birds, the buzzing of insects, and the gentle sound of the calm river nearby that were otherwise sufficiently halted by the trees to be below normal human detection. He let the sounds of nature fills his ears, and eventually picked up human voices. He homed in.

".. a jōnin, Sasuke-teme. How are we, not even genin, supposed to deal with him?" the first voice said. That had to be Naruto, no one else at the Academy called broody that according to his files.

"As much as I doubt Naruto-baka's intelligence, Sasuke-kun, even a broken clock is right twice a day," the second voice, obviously female, agreed.

"Hn."

Aah, Uchiha. Ever so eloquent. That one said 'alright, alright, you've got a point. So what?'

"How much wire do you have, Sasuke?" Naruto asked.

"10 metres."

"We can work with that. Sakura, didn't you have that C-rank genjutsu you picked up from Mizuki-teme?"

C-rank genjutsu? Her file didn't say anything about it. Then again, it was apparently taught to her by Mizuki, who was a traitor and therefore often didn't commit actions to paperwork. This could be... interesting. He also would have to grill Iruka if he knew about this. The likelihood of it was low, because the man was a stickler for detail, but he could have simply forgotten to include it in the file.

"I do."

Kakashi cut off chakra to his ears. They had the beginnings of a plan and teamwork, all that they needed to do now was to show that they actually worked together. He pulled out his beloved _Icha-Icha_ and continued reading about the very mature exploits of Kimiko-chan, the brown-haired princess from Sora-kyu before the city fell into disrepair.

Fifteen minutes later, with only ten minutes left on the clock, they struck. He vaguely heard pinky say **Genjutsu: Narakumi no Jutsu** before the jutsu's trademark leaves swirled around him. Hordes of Gai clones started to materialize in front of him, with none behind him. It was obvious that that was where they wanted him to go, so he instinctively broke the genjutsu and turned around as he put _Icha-Icha_ back into its portable shrine. He was willing to do a lot to see what the brats had planned, but he wasn't about to suffer through hundreds of Youthful Challenges.

He soon found himself back in the clearing where this entire test had begun, and he could spot the wire that was obv... actually rather well hidden for genin, most chūnin, and even some of the jōnin. _Must be Naruto's work. Let's see what happens, shall we?_

Still acting as if he was in the throes of the genjutsu pinky had cast on him earlier, he tripped the wire. Several kunai and shuriken came flying at him from all directions, and he dodged them all with contemptuous ease, though the last one forced him to jump lest he lose his legs.

While in mid-air, broody came out of the bushes with his hand clasped in the Tiger seal.

" **Katon: Gōkakyū!** "

Nothing a replacement with a nearby log couldn't solve. Though, the particular log he used to swap with _was_ rather conveniently placed close by and in plain sight...

And yes, another trap. **Kage Bunshin** , this time. In a massive cloud of smoke, thirty clones appeared. During the scuffle that, quite honestly, had Kakashi performing at a far higher level than he originally expected against fresh graduates – reaching high-genin at the end –, he lashed out with a kunai against three clones, and they responded by sliding underneath him, leaving the clones behind them to suffer a kunai to the gut. Two seconds later the sliding clones joined their brethren and dissolved into smoke courtesy of kicks to the spine, and the next wave of Naruto clones pressed forwa-

**DRIIIING**

Time was up. They were not all that half-bad at the end, all told. Pinky used her limited arsenal to guide his movement, broody forced a replacement to a convenient log close to Naruto, because no-one likes to be on the receiving end of a fireball, who used his clones to disorient him so he could be separated from his bells. Had he chosen a log that _wasn't_ the most convenient one, however, the entire plan would've gone up in smoke. A little extra spent chakra beat getting caught in an ambush. Nor did Naruto get the bells that were still joyously jingling on his belt. Regardless, they had shown that there was something here that he could work with. Something here that could make them a team Konoha could be proud of. _Now, who to tie to the tree..._

Pinky appeared from a bush, and Naruto completed the trio a few seconds later.

"You weren't utter failures at the end," he started to say blandly. "But you didn't get the bells, so..."

"I beg to differ, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto spoke calmly before he could flicker and tie Naruto to the tree, and held out two bells. Kakashi looked down and distinctly saw two silver bells hanging from his belt. They poofed into smoke as he was watching.

" **Kage Bunshin** plus **Henge** to disguise two clones as your bells. The two clones, now bells, were placed on your belt the instant my clones got the actual bells by sliding underneath you," Naruto calmly explained, and threw one bell each to pinky and broody. _Not bad, it seemed_ _Anko encouraged him to keep his sleight of hand abilities._

"You'll be the only one to go back to the Academy now, you realize that Naruto?" Kakashi said, trying to unnerve the blond. When it failed to work, Kakashi wondered what other ace sensei's son had up his sleeve.

"Not exactly," Naruto continued in that infuriatingly calm voice. He reached into his pouch and withdrew a very familiar book. _I'm so proud of you Naruto! YOU HAVE JOINED THE ICHA-ICHA EMPIRE!_

"Contrary to what you may or may not be thinking, Kakashi-sensei... this is _your_ book." Kakashi's eye widened and he frantically reached into the pouch where he kept his precious. He knew he should have drawn a storage seal for his precious inside his pouch! "Sasuke?"

"Hn," broody grunted. His hands flew through a very familiar set of seven seals, ending on Tiger. He inhaled deeply, but stopped there. The sole visible eye of Hatake Kakashi widened in horror. _They wouldn't!_

"Pass us or the book gets it, sensei," Naruto threatened.

"You pass!" he yelled out maniacally. He flashed forward at speeds that would make sensei proud and snatched the precious from the hands of the blasphemer.

He swiftly retreated to the edge of the clearing, cradling his precious in his arms.

"Don't worry, the bad men won't be able to get you anymore," he said softly to the precious, gently caressing its divine verdant form. "Meet me here at 0800 tomorrow. Ja ne!"

In a swirl of leaves, Kakashi went home. He had a storage seal to graft.

– – – –

"... and that's all, Hokage-sama. I immediately went to fix a fatal flaw exposed to me by Team Seven. The storage seal took only ten minutes," he finished, his voice slightly hoarse.

"And why do you not carry it _inside_ the storage seal right now, Kakashi?" Kurenai asked, steadfastly ignoring the Hokage making a note that looked suspiciously like 'storage seals are a good idea'.

"Because the precious needs comforting!" he yelled in return. Kurenai palmed her face, grumbling to herself.

"Naruto hasn't let up on his deviousness, I see," Hokage-sama said with a chuckle. "You're all dismissed, except Kakashi."

In a series of synchronized swirls of leaves, all jōnin that had been given leave left.

Hokage-sama sighed and appeared to age fifty years while Kakashi was watching. Kakashi blinked a few times in rapid succession. It was not often that Hokage-sama let his age show in his demeanour. Hokage-sama made the handsign that told the ANBU guarding him that he wanted to be left alone with his guest. Four leaf-filled swirls later, the office was empty except for Hokage-sama and himself.

Kakashi frowned when Hokage-sama ran through a short sequence of handseals and activated the privacy seals. This _could not possibly_ be good.

"I did not want to unduly pressure you before you had passed your team, Kakashi, but now that it has I have no more excuses to keep pressure off you," Hokage-sama began in a voice that matched his demeanour. It was a voice that spoke of having lived too long, of being _worn out_ , and he had only heard it once before; on the night Hokage-sama re-took the mantle after Minato-sensei had sacrificed himself to seal the Kyūbi. Kakashi wanted to speak, but a _look_ from his leader stayed his tongue.

"I am old, Kakashi-kun, and tired. I do not expect to live out the decade whatever happens. Unfortunately, there are several large problems left in the village. Until recently, Naruto-kun being a high-level flight risk was one of them, but thanks to the efforts of Anko-chan and Kurenai-chan, along with a revelation two weeks ago this is thankfully no longer the case."

"Does this revelation have to do with Naruto's mentioning a 'kaa-chan', Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asked.

"It does. I don't doubt that you're going to talk to him about it and you're going to be pleasantly surprised. I won't say more on that. To get back on track, you still have the flight-risk that is Uchiha Sasuke, even if Mikoto-chan has already made progress on reducing that," Hokage-sama said.

Kakashi nodded. "He seemed rather more willing to cooperate with Naruto's plan than I thought an Uchiha would be." The kid wasn't forced at kunai-point to work together with the other two, after all.

"Mikoto-chan tells me Fugaku had been training him in politics before the Massacre," Hokage-sama said. "However, Team Seven will not be your only struggle in the coming months. It is time for me to once again retire as I _should still be_ , but the person I want to pass the mantle to is too young."

"Naruto," Kakashi said firmly. It was not exactly a secret that Hokage-sama had been grooming Naruto to take over as Godaime.

"Indeed," Hokage-sama agreed. "However, even disregarding Naruto-kun's lack of age there is his lack of experience. As he is now, Naruto-kun _cannot_ take over as Godaime. In a decade and as Rokudaime, however..."

Kakashi saw where this was going and his mind went into overdrive. Successors were generally selected through apprenticeships or the jōnin pool. There were only a few candidates that fit either. Naruto, himself, Asuma, Gai, Jiraiya, and Tsunade. Naruto was too young an inexperienced despite being a semi-official apprentice to the Hokage, Gai was...

Kakashi had no doubt Gai had the right mentality to become Hokage, but feared what a Youthful Hokage would do to the village. If Gai accepted, of course. He might as well claim that the holding the office of Hokage would dampen his Youthful flames or something along those lines.

Asuma was not interested, as was Jiraiya, and hell would have to freeze over before Tsunade would set foot in the village again let alone hold the office of Hokage.

That was not mentioning ex-shinobi candidates, but they were even worse than a Godaime Gai. He shuddered to think what would happen to Konoha under a Godaime Danzō.

That really left himself, as none of the other jōnin were even remotely close to being ready for the life of a Kage. _Kami-sama save me_. "You want me to take over as Godaime," Kakashi said bluntly.

"Indeed," Hokage-sama confirmed with a nod. "But as you are now even you are not an acceptable candidate. You have stagnated, Kakashi-kun. Inu was a solid S-rank shinobi worthy of being my successor, but Hatake Kakashi has been a middling high A-rank shinobi. See to it that this is rectified."

Kakashi nodded.

"If necessary, break Haruno Sakura. Your team is meant for heavy combat and right now she's a liability."

Kakashi hummed. "I think a lot of what's wrong is her dieting in a misguided attempt to keep her figure. Perhaps I'll introduce her to Anko-san."

Hokage-sama nodded. "Do whatever you think is wise or necessary, Kakashi. Just get all three to a point where they can dominate the chūnin exams coming to Konoha eight months from now. I've got a bad feeling in my gut whenever I think of them, and my gut feelings tend to be correct."

Kakashi nodded. "I can do that," he assured his leader. "Permission to leave, Hokage-sama?"

"Granted."

Kakashi left in a swirl of leaves. His blond student owed him answers and he felt in his bones that they were not going to be short ones.

– – – –

Kakashi found the object of his search not even five minutes later furiously enjoying a ramen binge. He silently took a seat next to him, his mind remembering the little fully-blond ball of sunshine gorging himself on ramen. Naruto started a little at his actions before he turned to face him.

"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto said with a nod. "For a moment I thought you were Kurenai-nee coming to drag me from the Divine Noodles."

He sniggered a little at Naruto's name for ramen. "Nothing so cruel, Naruto," he assured sensei's son. "Once you're finished, I want to speak with you. One miso, please."

"Alright," Naruto replied evenly after finishing his bowl, the porcelain bowl immediately being replaced by one filled with shrimp ramen. "What about?"

"I want to talk about a few things with you, including this 'kaa-chan' you mentioned," Kakashi said as Ayame placed a bowl of miso before him. "Thanks," he said with an eyesmile directed her way.

"Alright," Naruto said as he started on his last bowl for the day. "I know a private place where we can talk. I'll send a clone ahead." He placed his chopsticks on the counter and created a clone that swiftly took off.

A short while later the two left behind two empty bowls of ramen, one of them patting his full stomach.

"Where to, Naruto?" Kakashi asked. When Naruto still had not answered his question a minute later, he aimed his sole uncovered eye on the blond and found him zoned out.

Naruto shook his head as focus returned to his eyes. "Training ground 43, behind the waterfall, sensei."

_There's something behind the waterfall at 43?_ This was news to him. He placed a hand on the shoulder of his student and the pair vanished in a swirl of leaves.

They reappeared in the same way a few metres from the waterfall in question.

"I'd prefer a warning next time, sensei," Naruto grumbled as he created a Kage Bunshin and handed the clone some money. Oops.

"Maa, maa, don't be so stressed Naruto," he said with his customary eyesmile even as he handed the clone enough money to pay for his own bowl.

"Whatever," the blond said with a shrug. "Follow me, and don't touch any of the plants. Bad things happen to those who do."

"Plants?"

"You'll see, sensei. Now come on," Naruto said with a motion of his hand to indicate the silver-haired shinobi should follow. Kakashi looked on in surprise as Naruto stepped on the water and walked on as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

_Note to self: scratch water-walking for sensei's son._

Kakashi projected a screen of chakra above his head to prevent the waterfall from drenching him, earning a soft grumble from his student.

"Welcome to the garden, sensei," Naruto said a moment later with a sweeping wave of his hand.

Kakashi was silent. His sole visible eye was wider than it had ever been. The plants in this garden seemed literally out of this world. He recognized something that was likely a mutation of the Kusa-native strychnine, Iwa-native almonds farmed extensively for their cyanide content, castor beans commonly found in the mists of Mizu no Kuni, and several plants he was sure had some sort of demonic origin. Other plants were more... _foreign_.

At least, he didn't think the red-green-blue-yellow-pink-black plants with a geometry that hurt his eye just from looking at it could be found anywhere outside this garden.

– – – –

In the Southern Lands, a seven-tailed fox tending a lavish garden sneezed, sending otherworldly butterflies scattering everywhere.

– – – –

With awe evident in his eye, he numbly followed the blond while trying to take in as much of the garden as he could. More than once, he had to remind himself that his student had warned him that touching these plants was a _seriously bad idea._

"Kaa-chan!" aforementioned student yelled. "I'm home! I brought a guest as well!"

"I'm in the living room!" a voice yelled from inside the house the appeared in the distance. Kakashi nearly jumped. _That voice... That was..._ his thoughts screeched to a halt. _How?_

Watching warily as Naruto opened a traditional shogi door, Kakashi followed his favourite non-adult into the house. His eye fell on the woman sitting on the couch with a cup of tea that smelled absolutely delicious and so very much like the flavour Kushina-sama favoured. It was then that he took in the features of the woman, who had since turned her head to gaze upon the guest in their not-so-humble abode.

He noticed her red hair. Her lithe frame with generous bust. Her amethyst eyes locking onto his sole black one, sparkling with unrestrained mirth and joy and... _affection_? The roundness of her face that had always been a very sore topic in combination with her hair. He remembered some of the beatings she dished out to enemies in the field as well as stories from bullies at school that called her 'tomato'. He saw the near-motherly affection from her eyes directed his way.

"Hello, Kakashi-chan," she said, her voice reflecting what her eyes told the world.

_This can't be! Kushina-sama is dead!_

He put his hands together in a Ram seal and pulsed his chakra multiple times in an effort to break the genjutsu he was sure was cast on him. When her visage didn't waver in the slightest even after his strongest pulse, he leapt at her with a kunai in hand, snarling like the dogs he had been working with for a long time. He was pinning her to the seat before she or Naruto could react, and pressed his blade to this impostor's throat. He eye narrowed, and he could faintly hear Naruto choking from the amount of killing intent he was releasing. Despite this, the woman remained utterly calm and collected.

"Who are you?" he demanded, his eye and voice promising death should the answer not be satisfactory.

"I am..." She coughed and turned to the watching blond. "Cover your ears Naruto, or you will never have use of them again," she ordered Naruto with a threatening glance to back it up. Startled, Naruto covered his ears with his tails and hands.

Kakashi frowned a little. Tails? And this woman that looked like Kushina-sama had them as well. He mentally slapped himself for not noticing the tails before.

What in the nine Hells was going on here?

The woman leaned in as much as the knife pressed to her throat allowed her, and softly whispered to him, "Kushi-kaa."

His sole visible eye widened.

" _You know we won't mind if you call us Mina-tō – hehe – and Kushi-kaa, yes?" Kushina-sama asked when Obito and Rin had_ _left the house_ _._

" _With all respect, Kushina-sama, I couldn't possibly call you something that intimate after all you've done for me," he'd replied seriously. "Nothing but the most absolute respect will."_

" _Mū, don't be such a downer, Kashi-chan. No one's going to die because you broke propriety inside this house," she said with a whiny pout. "_ We _'re not going to be mad if you call us your parents, Kashi-chan."_

Nobody but her and sensei had ever known of that name. He had even managed to keep that memory a secret from the Yamanaka a few years ago. The hand holding the blade shook. "H-How?" he stammered, before calling upon ANBU training to compartmentalize his mind. He could break down later. Like, say, when sensei's son wasn't there to witness it. He had an image to maintain.

Her eyes turned sombre. "That is a long story, Kashi-chan," she replied. He dropped the blade and half-staggered back into a conveniently placed chair. "It starts nearly a century ago..."

– – – –

"So to recap: you were born a human with a crippling disease, a prayer by your parents was listened to and you were bonded with Inari-sama's oldest daughter and became the new Kyūbi. Later, you assumed a human guise and went back to Uzu a few days before it was destroyed, after which you ended up in Konoha looking like a human child and enrolled in the shinobi program. Nearly two decades after that, after you'd given birth to the _Hanyō_ Naruto and sealed his demonic blood, a masked man claiming to be _the_ Uchiha Madara appeared and mentally tortured you until you went berserk, after which you were sealed into Naruto by Minato-sensei?" he asked incredulously. It was an outlandish tale, but Naruto acted as if it was true and the few times he guarded Naruto when he was younger told him that Naruto had a nose for bullshit.

"Pretty much," she confirmed. "Though there is one glaring error in your recap."

"Which is?"

"He didn't _claim_ to be Uchiha Madara, as far as I could tell he _was_ Uchiha Madara."

His jaw met the floor. "How?"

"I don't rightly know," Kushina-sama replied with a tail scratching the top of her head. "But his and Hashirama-nii's clash back in the Valley of the End killed rather a lot of my charges; we were fond of the plain that became the Valley. I memorized Madara's chakra then and the man that appeared before me twelve years ago had the _exact_ same chakra."

Kakashi shivered involuntarily, desperately trying not to dwell on this. An immortal Uchiha Madara was the stuff of nightmares. Before he could ask if Sandaime-sama knew, a temporarily forgotten voice called out.

"Kaa-chan," Naruto said from the third piece of furniture in the room, startling both of them. Three eyes turned towards him.

"Yes, musuko-kun?"

"I just realized something odd," he said with a frown. "Earlier, when I first swam to this place, you told me about grandfathers, great-grandfathers, and great-great-grandfathers, all of them confirmed Kitsune." Mother and son tilted their heads in unison. "But when you told me your story a few days later, and just now to Kakashi-sensei, you said you were bonded to Inari-sama's, the First Fox, oldest daughter. How does that work?"

A second tail joined the one already scratching the vibrant red hair belonging to Kushina-sama as she adopted a thinking expression. After a few minutes of thought, she said, "I don't honestly know, musuko-kun. I thought of a few ways in which it can happen, but without conclusive proof I can't tell for sure."

Naruto nodded, his curiosity satisfied for now, and turned to Kakashi. "So, sensei, you said you wanted to talk to me for more reasons than just my mentions of kaa-chan."

Kakashi nodded. "I did," he said. "But most of that related to your training. I'll need to coordinate with Kushina-sama so that my training team 7 doesn't conflict with your training under her." He flashed his student his best eyesmile.

Kushina-sama rounded back on him. "That's right, you had kawaii genin now! Tell me about them!" she demanded in a happier, more excited version of the same tone she'd used when she asked of Obito, Rin, and himself who'd stolen the cookies from the jar when they had stayed over after a training session with Minato-sensei. The tone that demanded an answer _or else_.

"There isn't really that much to tell, really," he said with a shrug. "Pinky, Haruno Sakura, is a stereotypical civilian graduate, one of the three leaders of the Uchiha Sasuke Academy Fanclub, though she does have a useful c-rank genjutsu in her repertoire. Broody is Fugaku's second son, and appears to be basically him reincarnated but with an oath to kill his brother."

Kushina-sama blinked. "Haruno?"

"Yup," he confirmed with a nod. "She's got pretty good chakra control, but her pool is... _tiny._ Truth be told I'm surprised she had the chakra for the Hell Viewing Technique."

"Huh. Pink hair, larger-than-average forehead, MPD, scarily intelligent when circumstances call for it?"

He shrugged. "Can't say much about the intelligence, but the rest fits."

"She's got the intelligence," Naruto assured them both.

Kushina-sama started giggling. Kakashi turned to Naruto for an explanation, but saw that his eyebrows were raised as well. "Oh this is _priceless_!" she exclaimed. "To think that _her_ line was reduced to a single Uchiha fangirl!" She wrapped her tails around herself and started rolling on the floor, deafening them both with the volume of her howling laughter.

"What do you mean, Kushina-sama?" he asked curiously. Waiting patiently for a reply, he watched as the next handful of minutes the sounds of unrestrained joy coming from the ball of humanoid fox filled the room.

"Part of the reason the Northern Fox Clan settled in Hi no Kuni instead of somewhere else was because of the presence of the Haruno," she said when she had calmed down, and he had to slide his jaw back in place with an audible _click_. "Of course, they weren't called the Haruno back then, but I kept an eye on that line regardless until I was sealed inside Naruto-kun."

"Why?" he and Naruto asked in unison.

Kushina-sama grinned the same fox-like grin he often saw adorning the face of sensei's son whenever they found significant amounts of humour in a situation. "That would be telling," she said brightly.

Kakashi and Naruto looked at each other with deadpan expressions. "Very helpful, kaa-chan," Naruto said dryly.

"I know. So," she said in an obvious attempt to change the subject. "You said something about training synchronization?"

He nodded absently. Despite his best efforts, his mind was still off-kilter from the earlier stream of revelations, and it must have showed somehow. Kushina-sama had always been able to read his face without fault, seeing even the deepest hidden emotions.

"Naruto, leave us," Kushina-sama ordered. Naruto nodded.

"I'll be in the garden, working on my bladed kata," he replied as he stood up and walked out of the building.

After he had left, Kushina-sama placed herself on the couch next to him. The next thing he knew, she had wrapped her arms around him and soon followed up with her tails. Feeling the motherly warmth she radiated, the part of him that was still an emotionally stunted twelve-year-old in desperate need of parental affection took over and he leaned into her embrace.

For the first time since his father committed seppuku, Hatake Kakashi cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nami: Wave. In this case Nami no Kuni, or the Country of Waves, is meant.
> 
> Chidori: Thousand birds
> 
> Rasengan: Spiraling Sphere
> 
> Sharingan: Copy Wheel Eye
> 
> Shunshin: Body Flicker
> 
> Katon: Gōkakyū; Fire Release: Great Fireball
> 
> Genjutsu: Narakumi no Jutsu; Illusion Arts: Hell Viewing Technique.
> 
> Ja ne: See ya (approximately. It's slang for 'see you later', which I understand as stated outside brackets)
> 
> Wakatta: Understood/ I understand.
> 
> Kawaii: Cute
> 
> Sakki: Killing Intent
> 
> Seppuku: Ritualistic suicide (also known as Harakiri). One takes a short blade, usually a tantō, and slices one's own stomach open from left to right without flinching. The ritual is completed by then reaching inside oneself and removing one's own bowels before dying, again without flinching. Also performed by making the initial cut and then having a second chop off the head of the person committing seppuku (according to wiki).
> 
> – – – –
> 
> I've always felt that illusions should give some feedback when they're dispelled so that the illusionist can use what the illusion displayed to further their assault. For genjutsu like the Hell Viewing, which is an auto-suggestive illusion of your worst fear according to the wikia, I consider this behaviour practically a necessity.
> 
> As for the scene at the end, this universe's Kakashi was a lot closer to Minato and Kushina than he appeared to be in canon. I don't think that people who had their parents ripped away from them, especially those who aren't very capable of processing their emotions in the first place, stop craving parental affection of some sort (though I obviously can't say for sure as my parents are still happily among the living). With his ties to Minato and Kushina much closer than they ever were to his biological mother and father – both of them dead before he was six – I don't think the scene is unlikely as written.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA: When I say 'first floor' at the start of this chapter, I mean the British first floor, which is equal to the American second floor.
> 
> This convention will hold any time floors are mentioned anywhere in this fic.
> 
> PSA 2: The previous chapter has been updated to include information that I just realized I forgot to mention. It's not that much (only twenty-ish words), but they reflect Kakashi's interest in everything not shinobi. That is, he allowed himself to form opinions based on years-old information (words added after the mention of 'the Civilian Council loved the 'last Uchiha').
> 
> In this chapter: a little slice of normality in the abnormal life of our protagonist, a competent Kakashi-sensei, and... Enter, Mitarashi Anko!

The village of Konoha was, on the whole, a quiet village. If one ignored the cries of Youth from two of the more eccentric shinobi, one could say that Konoha was downright idyllic, especially considering the fact that Konoha was a _shinobi_ village.

The house hidden in a cave behind the waterfall in one of the numerous training grounds of Konoha was little different. There were plants, even if they weren't exactly recognizable to humans that hadn't visited any of the five other landmasses. There was a house built in traditional Japanese architecture, complete with its own training ground, underground explosion-proof bunker - though it was meant to _contain_ explosions, rather than keep them out -, and provided with outside light through the magic of fuuinjutsu.

The tranquillity of this cavern was not to last in the morning hours of this fine spring day as a figure inside the house left the breakfast fish on the grill and filled a bucket with ice-cold water, before whistling a merry tune as she ascended the stairs to the first floor, careful not to spill any of the contents of the aforementioned bucket.

She opened one particular door at the top of the stairs and stepped inside and nearly cooed when she saw the adorable curled-up form of her son on top of the sheets, clutching one of the plushies she had bought twelve years ago before in preparation for her son being born. She wasn't exactly sure what it meant that he preferred the nine-tailed fox that closely resembled her full vulpine form, but chose not to dwell on its implications.

An evil grin appeared on her face as she shifted her grip on the bucket, readying herself to throw its contents over his form.

"RISE AND SHINE, MUSUKO-KUN!" she yelled before throwing the bucket of ice-cold water over her son's awakening body.

"What the hell, kaa-chan?" Naruto said sleepily while his brain was booting itself. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and glared at his laughing mother.

"Being woken up with a bucket of ice water is practically an Uzumaki tradition, musuko-kun," she said brightly as she threw him a towel. "Breakfast will be ready in ten."

She walked out of the room and closed the door before breathing a sigh of relief and continuing on to the kitchen. Her son's pheromones were subtle, but they were very clearly present to her nose. Granted, it was because she was a Kitsune _and_ he was a young unmated Kitsune – even if only half, it was enough – that she was so affected, but if he turned seventeen and still had no mates, then the pheromones would ramp up to affect _every_ species of girl, not just Kitsune. Not that she would let it go that far.

She fully intended her son to have at least two Kitsune mates before he reached his seventeenth.

He had more healing to do, however. Right now Naruto-kun was not ready for the full Kitsune experience, though she resolved to have him be somewhat trained to resist seduction before he left the village on his first C-rank in a month or two, according to Kakashi's planned schedule. Demons roaming free were not exactly common, but far from rare, and she would not put it past a young Kitsune girl – the Neko kept to Kaminari no Kuni, the Tanuki kept to Kaze no Kuni, and the other six were predominantly male so kept their females well within clan borders – to manipulate things so that he gave her a mating mark in the heat of the moment, as Kitsune males – half or otherwise – were very possessive of their mates regardless of how they became involved with them and his almost inevitable nine tails would grant any female a significant amount of protection from harm. The only real danger of getting a mate when he wasn't ready for it would be the first, which could be given on instinct before it stabilized the more primal instincts of the male Kitsune mind, loosening the hold instinct had over the creation of mating bonds.

In fact, tricking a Kitsune male into giving away their first mating bond was almost applauded since they _were_ foxes when all was said and done. However, once the mating bond was in place the Kitsune in question – at least the female, due to their limited masculine numbers – was compelled to remain loyal to the bond to the point of it being a biological imperative. A bond was a promise, though the details differed depending on gender, and the relationship between Kitsune and promises of any kind was one of the few things the various legends got consistently right. In the meantime, she would train him to resist seduction.

It wouldn't outright eliminate Naruto getting a mate he wasn't ready for, but seduction resistance training would help him in avoiding situations where he was at risk of getting such.

Ten minutes after she had left his room, Naruto dragged himself into the kitchen and sat himself down at the kitchen table they had reserved for breakfast, his hair dishevelled and his shirt on backwards. She giggled, and he turned a stink eye in her direction that caused her to giggle even more. Her son was not a morning person at all. "So, excited for today, musuko-kun?" she asked. "I mean, it is your first day as a genin after all."

"Hell yeah I am!" Naruto yelled excitedly, his fatigue forgotten by the prospect of _actually being a genin!_

"That's good," she said while scratching his head with one of her tails in a manner similar to a human parent ruffling their child's hair. "Keep up the enthusiasm, you're going to need it."

"Mom!" he exclaimed with a blush, swiping at the tail with one of his own. "I'm not three anymore!"

"I know, musuko-kun," she said without stopping, accidentally capturing his tail with her own. A blush threatened to appear on her face, _oh if only you knew what this meant in Kitsune society, Naruto-kun,_ she thought like a hormonal teenager. _That reminds me, I need to start_ those _lessons too. He's practically going to be the Kitsune-taichō under Inari-Sōtaichō and he needs to be ready for the duties that come with that office._ "But I've got more than twelve years to catch up on so deal with it."

Naruto threw up a minor illusion of a pouting face, supplemented by his own attempt at the Kit Eyes, the Kitsune equivalent of the well-known Puppy Dog Eyes, to much the same effect. It was, in truth, the exact same thing but the Kitsune and the Inu clans did _not_ get along, so they made their own technique to accomplish the feat.

_Sometimes,_ Kushina thought, _it is funny that the Kitsune – who are technically canine – get along better with the feline clans than other canine, with the exception of the wolves and jackals._

While he may have been outwardly protesting, inside his mind Naruto was practically dancing with joy that there was someone that cared for him. It had been two weeks and change since he had first met his mother, but moments like this never got old. Moments like this made him realize that this was what a _normal_ family was like _all the time._

"What can you tell me about Kakashi-sensei, kaa-chan?" he asked curiously.

Kushina hummed thoughtfully as she placed breakfast on the table. Nothing really special, just rice and grilled fish, only unique in the fact that there was a lot of it. "Most of his life is his own to tell, musuko-kun," she chided gently. "But the man is an unapologetic pervert, is fond of Maito Gai despite what everyone else thinks and whatever he says, and is quite possibly the single-most skilled ninja in the village that isn't the Hokage. And he's lazy, I guess, but you already knew that from when he was teaching you for a year in the Academy."

"I did," he confirmed as he broke apart two chopsticks. "Itadakimasu."

"Itadakimasu," she said in return. For the next several minutes they ate while making only a little small talk, each savouring the taste and scent of the meal. Eventually, Naruto grabbed the last bit of fish in his chopsticks and was absently bringing it to his mouth when his chopsticks' journey to his mouth was halted. He broke out of his food-induced reverie and looked at the fish.

Two wooden chopsticks that didn't connect to his hands had grabbed the fish and were pulling it away from him. "I don't think so, Naruto-kun," his mother said with a Glare.

He returned the glare as best he could, but failed to meet his mother's level. Quite understandable really, he was having a glaring contest with someone who had a literal century of life on him.

Instead he growled, and an inquisitive part of his mind noted the odd scent that appeared shortly after he did so. It was a pleasing scent, strong traces of pineapple and other sources he couldn't readily identify.

"I'm not giving my fish up that easily, kaa-chan," he half-snarled, and a playfully vicious grin appeared on his mother's face.

"Bring it, musuko-kun."

Their play-fight for the last scrap of breakfast lasted for all of fifteen seconds when a loud ring filled the air. Four eyes turned to the one who had dared interfere with long-delayed mother-son bonding.

_07:45_

"Gotta go kaa-chan!" Naruto said hurriedly as he swiftly snatched the fish out of his mother's chopsticks and wolfed it down before jumping up and sprinting away, applying an illusion to hide his tails and ears as he ran.

"See you later, Naruto-kun!" she yelled after his retreating back. When she felt he had passed the waterfall she slumped down with a sigh.

"His pheromones truly are nothing to sneeze at," she muttered with a groan. "I've gotta change panties and I have fifteen minutes to do so and make myself sort-of presentable before Hiashi. Good thing I don't exactly have to physically apply make-up like most others do, but make-up illusions are always a pain. So many little details to balance, rather than just ensure that they're there."

Releasing another sigh, she stood up to change clothing.

– – – –

Naruto entered the clearing ten minutes after he sprinted out of the kitchen and frowned. His two teammates were already gathered. Since it was 0755, that was not entirely out of line with expectations, especially given their sensei saying 'early is on time, on time is late, and late is dead' two days ago. No, his frown was not because of the presence of his two teammates.

It was because sensei was already there as well. He put his hands in a Ram seal and briefly pulsed his chakra. When the chakra washed over the form of his sensei and said form did not waver, he figured that it had to be a _very good_ genjutsu. He swiftly palmed a kunai and prepared to give himself a shallow cut along the palm. Pain was the most crude, but also the most effective way to dispel genjutsu.

That did not change when dealing with Kitsune illusions cast on the mind. Illusions on the world and self – that is, body – adhered to different rules.

"Maa, maa," Kakashi-sensei said in a calming voice. "There's no need to get so drastic, Naruto. By the way, your shirt is on backwards."

Naruto looked at his shirt and cursed softly, but resolutely turned his attention back to his sensei after he had swiftly fixed his shirt and turned a stink eye to his sensei. "Then who are you?" he asked accusingly. "The Kakashi-sensei I know would _never_ be less than an hour late, let alone five minutes early."

Kakashi-sensei grimaced unseen beneath his mask. "Hokage-sama's orders," he said curtly. "Now, lets get to training, shall we?"

The three genin nodded. "The first week we will train from 0730 to 1300, at which point we will do one or two missions and have lunch before returning to the training field until 2000, at which point you will return home. The only exception is today since I've got paperwork to do regarding this team, so we'll stop at 1800 instead. This first week I will be supplying bentos to the three of you for lunch and send you home with strict dietary requirements. Fail to adhere to these requirements and I _will_ know, and you _will._ _N_ _ot._ _L_ _ike. It,"_ Kakashi-sensei said and Sakura gulped from the threat in his voice at the end. Last Naruto heard she was still dieting in an attempt to stay thin to attract the romantic favour of Sasuke-teme and Kakashi, like all shinobi male and female chuunin and higher, felt dieting was a ridiculous waste of time. If you were gaining weight eating however much you wanted, as long as you ensured that you took in enough of everything necessary, then you were not training hard enough. Only time would tell if Sakura would get the message.

"After the first week, you are expected to fill your own bento boxes. Failure to adhere to the dietary requirements of your training will not be punished by me directly, but it will cause you to lag behind in training, an act which _will_ bring down my wrath. Understood?" Kakashi-sensei asked them with a piercing glare.

All three of them nodded frantically, though the satisfied smirks on the faces of Naruto and Sasuke were missed by neither party in the clearing. Sakura looked rather frantic, and it did not take a genius to realize she was worried over her figure.

Kakashi-sensei nodded with a satisfied eyesmile. How he could make his eyesmiles as expressive as other people's normal smiles, Naruto would never know. "You're not the only ones to suffer, though. When I said 'we', I _meant_ 'we'. I've been ordered to re-intensify my own training, and I will do so after I've got a good indication where you are right now." He clapped his hands. "Alright then, first up is physical fitness. You will perform pushups at the highest pace you are capable of until your arms refuse to cooperate," he ordered them. "You will count out loud each time you complete a push-up. After that, it will be sit-up with the same demands. Finally, you will be running laps around the clearing for as long as you can. Now get to it!" he finished with a barked order.

The three genin scrambled to obey, and by the time the three genin finished their push-ups, it was evident that the three were at very different levels physically. Sakura had collapsed somewhere around her fifteenth push-up and was desperately guzzling from her water-filled canteen while the other two soldiered on into the forties. "Relax, pinky," Kakashi said shortly after she had started drinking. "You'll only hurt yourself if you drink water at that pace this soon after a workout."

Sakura nodded absently and complied, though the rate at which she drank her water now would still be considered fast by normal standards it was enough to satisfy Kakashi for now. Meanwhile, Sasuke had crashed to the earthen floor after panting out the number seventy-two and was now lying on his back breathing hard.

When Naruto reached two hundred and fifty with no sign of slowing down any time soon, not even a single bead of sweat visible anywhere on his body, Kakashi called out a halt. Both Sakura and Sasuke were looking at Naruto with wide eyes, and one of the Universal Genjutsu, type: depressed raincloud, floated above the pink hair belonging to Sakura at her own lacking performance. Kakashi almost sighed, that girl and her multiple personalities that switched seemingly at the drop of a hat were going to be the death of him. _Perhaps I'll introduce her to Anko-_ _s_ _an this afternoon instead of next week?_

A moment later, he nodded to himself and created a Kage Bunshin for the purpose of seeking out Anko. She owed him a few favours so unless she was busy breaking a fool or three she would answer favourably.

Both of the other genin had known Naruto was an unreal stamina monster, but they were unaware of the true magnitude of the situation. Kakashi just looked at the genin with a – hidden – raised eyebrow. With the heritage he was aware of years ago and the heritage he only learned of yesterday, his performance wasn't completely a surprise.

The sit-ups were a story of 'second verse, same as the first'. Sakura laid herself spread-eagle on the floor after number twenty, panting heavily, Sasuke stopped at sixty, and Naruto was still counting at one hundred and seventy-five. Thanks to the regenerative properties of yōki on the human or half-human body in addition to his standard Uzumaki healing factor Kakashi would not be surprised if he could maintain this for an entire day.

Kakashi made a mental note to keep the blond genin well away from Gai.

"Alright, that's enough Naruto," he called. "Time for laps!" he said cheerily after the blond had come to a halt.

The third verse was, once again, same as the first. Sakura started walking and splashing water on her face to cool down at ten laps, Sasuke lasted twenty, and Naruto just kept on running and running.

Kakashi scratched his head. He would have to borrow a few things from the usual regimen of the Beautiful Beasts of Konoha to properly challenge Naruto.

Memories rushed into his head, and he learned that Anko had agreed. Excellent.

"Once again, that's enough Naruto," he said. "Gather round."

When all three of his genin had gathered before him he clapped his hands. "Okay, I've got a pretty good impression of your physical fitness right now. Pinky, your stamina is sub-par for a freshly graduated kunoichi, but getting rid of your diet and training hard should get rid of most of that."

"But sensei, how will I keep my figure?" Sakura asked. All three men looked at her with incredulous expressions.

"We train enough that unless you eat like an Akimichi you won't gain weight," Kakashi replied before the other two could offer scathing words. "I'll introduce you to a well-known kunoichi who is as fond of dango as Naruto is of ramen."

"You mean Anko-nee?" Naruto asked excitedly.

"Yes, Naruto. Anko," Kakashi confirmed.

"SWEET! She's been avoiding me for the past two weeks because she lost a bet and is refusing to pay up," Naruto said with a shark-like grin.

"I don't even _want_ to know," Kakashi said in a deadpan. "Moving on. Sasuke, your performance was above-par for a fresh graduate, but nothing truly special. Naruto, your performance was off the charts for a normal fresh graduate, but considering the stamina freaks your mother's side of the family were you performed merely acceptably. To further your training, all three of you will get resistance seals starting tomorrow.

"Do not confuse resistance seals with gravity or weight seals. Gravity and weight seals work by increasing the pull of gravity on an area of the body or increasing the mass of an area of the body, effectively doing the same thing. Resistance seals increase the wind resistance your body naturally suffers from and makes joints harder to move. Most resistance seals come in fourteen levels, and the first level feels similar to walking while completely submerged in water. Level fourteen does not have an adequate description using a natural analogue. Most ninja who use resistance seals do not ever venture beyond five.

"Once in a while, we will deactivate the resistance seals so that your body gets accustomed to the effects of the seal and to ensure that your coordination does not suffer from your increase in speed. It won't do to make yourself faster if you suddenly can't hit your opponent or block his attacks any more. Got that so far?" he asked.

Receiving three nods in reply, though Sakura looked a bit unsure while doing so, he pressed on, "Now for the coordination assessment. While we were talking a clone of mine set up a slalom course. You will each go through the course as fast as you can. Then we will perform stretches and other traditional warming-up and cooling-down exercises before running the slalom again, but this time while walking on one's hands. Then we break for lunch. Any questions so far?"

Three shaking heads were his only answer. "Good!" he replied brightly. "Then follow me."

– – – –

Naruto mulled over his first training day so far while eating the bento provided by sensei before he left. Sasuke was, to the surprise of absolutely no one, the fastest of the three and the most well-coordinated. Interceptor Fist demanded both speed and coordination. Sakura and himself were approximately equal, though he performed better on the course by virtue of his unending stamina that rendered him always as fresh as he was when he woke up, compared to the heavily panting, exhausted Sakura. It was likely this exhaustion that made her eat everything contained within her bento without a fuss.

It was after the stretches between slalom courses that he truly hit the first snag of his ninja career; his balance on something that wasn't his feet was atrocious and he was not able to successfully complete more than three steps while walking on his hands, let alone the entire course. It would come in time.

In a swirl of leaves, Kakashi-sensei and a guest reappeared in the clearing where they started the day. Naruto allowed his eyes to visibly light up – Kitsune illusions were ridiculously flexible – when he recognized the person he was with, not that it was especially hard to do so. The combination of trenchcoat, fishnet shirt, and a Nara-styled ponytail was not exactly common around the village.

"Anko-nee!" he cried happily, attacking her with a flying tackle-hug. "You owe me a hundred ryō!"

"Gaki!" she replied in the same exuberant tone, subtly guiding his flight path so that his face would land between her sizeable breasts. "Where you been the past two weeks?" She steadfastly ignored his mention of her owing him money.

_'Kaa-chan?'_ he tentatively called out mentally. They had been playing around with the seal to establish a mental connection even when her consciousness was inside her blood clone, but he was uncertain if it would work outside the yōki-rich environment of the Uzumaki Compound.

' _Yes, musuko-kun? What is it?'_ Haha, success!

' _Anko-nee asks where I've been the past two weeks, what do I tell her?'_ he replied nervously.

_'Hmm...'_ His mother hummed. ' _Invite her over at the end of the day. It'll be good to talk to my surrogate younger sister again.'_

_'_ More _surrogate family, kaa-chan? First Kakashi and Obito, now Anko?'_

_'I have a weak spot for suffering orphans, okay?'_ his mother replied testily. Naruto frowned lightly. That sounded almost tsundere, but that was ridiculous.

"Oi, gaki! You there?" Anko yelled in his ear, snapping him from the conversation with his mother. "I mean, I can understand if you aren't. Not many men get to be introduced so intimately to the twins," she added in a sultry tone. She either missed or ignored the disgusted expression of Sakura at her words. More likely ignored.

"I can show you. Will you be home at 1830?" he asked, his voice muffled by the above-average mammaries of Mitarashi Anko.

"Yup. You taking me on a date gaki?" she asked cheekily, increasing the force pressing the blond to her body for emphasis.

Naruto turned his blue eyes to lock with her glimmering brown ones, mirth evident in them. "Something like that," he said in his best imitation of her earlier voice. Had they looked closely in another direction, they would have seen an interesting red spot appearing on the facemask of a silver-haired cyclops. Anko briefly looked taken aback that he had returned her flirting before a grin lit her face.

– – – –

Back in the Uzumaki Garden after a rather fruitful meeting with the head of the Hyuuga Main House, Kushina debated the pros and cons of having Anko help with seduction resistance, or if she should contact some of her friends in the Hyuuga to help since Hiashi was nowhere near as mad at her as she thought he had rights to be, or if she would do it herself. As her thoughts took a more... _adult_ turn, blood erupted from her nose. If he was anything like his father...

She licked her lips.

– – – –

"As golden as this moment is," the aforementioned cyclops drawled out, "I figured it'd be good for pinky to get the 'dieting for ninja is _bad_ ' talk from an actual kunoichi. Anko-san here graciously agreed. I've supplied lists with your new nutritional demands and taken the liberty to deposit them at your places of residence."

"Mitarashi Anko at your service!" the woman yelled dramatically before vanishing and re-appearing behind Sakura. "How about you and I have a nice chat, pinky?" she asked, but before Sakura could so much as open her mouth to reply she had already been shoved to her feet. "Now move it, the Dango Empire awaits!" she yelled with a manic grin on her face as she pushed a struggling Sakura along. "MUSH!"

When the last cries of the pink-haired genin had faded into the distance, Sasuke asked, "How is she going to do what the teachers at the Academy never could, sensei?"

Naruto gazed at the black-haired youth, astonishment written on his face at his rather civil tone.

Perhaps he had recognized the fact that their sensei was one of, if not outright, the strongest jōnin in the village and decided that pissing such a person off would be bad because it could mean that he received less than optimal training?

Shaking away his astonishment, he answered in lieu of their sensei. With a grin on his face he asked, "are you aware of my ramen eating habits, Sasuke-teme?"

"I am," he confirmed with a frown. "But I don't see how that is relevant."

"Well," Naruto drawled out in a pretty good imitation of Kakashi, "Anko-nee is the same when it comes to dango. She considers a light appetizer to be approximately seventeen sticks. And you have seen her figure."

"Of course," Sasuke answered calmly, surprising Naruto. Evidently he had seen Naruto's surprise and recognized it for what it was, for he continued hotly, "In spite of popular opinion among the guys at the Academy, I am not gay."

Naruto turned an incredulous eye towards the duck-haired Uchiha. "Who are you and what have you to _my_ broody Sasuke-teme?" Naruto demanded.

"Tch," Sasuke replied testily. "Don't push your luck, _dobe_."

"So you _can_ be civil!" Naruto exclaimed. Sasuke started to reply in kind, but a cough from Kakashi stopped him short and focused the attention of both genin back to him.

"While pinky is away getting her lecture, we're going to start on a basic chakra control. You are familiar with the concept from the Academy's leaf floating exercise, and the general principle holds. Too much chakra and bad stuff happens, too little chakra and bad stuff happens.

"There is a whole set of exercises out there to improve chakra control, starting small at tree walking – also known as surface-clinging –, and getting bigger with water walking or more generally surface tension manipulation, flow splitting, flow reversal, and immolation aversion. Most people stop after being capable of walking on water unless they are training a wind-element affinity, at which point they continue to flow splitting. As you can imagine, the further along you go, the worse the 'bad stuff' is, up to and including actually dying."

Both genin gulped involuntarily.

"The first exercise, tree walking, is simple in principle," he said as he walked to a nearby tree and placed a foot on its bark. "You channel chakra into your foot to cling to the surface, then walk upwards, alternating the foot you channel chakra to as necessary. The exercise is mastered when you can fight another person for two hours on a vertical surface just as well as you could standing upright." He calmly walked up to what was approximately half-way up the tree and went through a basic Dragon style kata at speeds his students could track. He then proceeded to sedately walk back down to the ground. "Your turn. Do not expect to get this within three days unless you have really good chakra control already," he said, taking the moment to throw a kunai in front of both his students. "Use this to mark your highest position along the tree. One last piece of advice; you want to start out running and only progress to walking up the tree when you have reached the top. I'll put pinky on the same exercise when she gets back."

The two nodded and went to work.

"Naruto," Kakashi said calmly when Naruto was running up the tree, drawing his attention. "I know you can do the exercise already."

"Drat," Naruto cursed softly. "And here I was hoping for an easy first day."

"Yeah," Kakashi drawled. "No. While I acknowledge your desire to keep your skills unknown until circumstances force you, I'm not letting you off easy. **Kage Bunshin no Jutsu**."

A single clone poofed into existence and started gathering rocks and leaves while the original went to do his own workout, taking care to do so in full view of the genin so they could get an idea of what an _actual_ ninja workout was.

"Here, hover the rocks over your handpalms and the backs of your hands and rotate the leaves over your fingers with no two adjacent leaves spinning the same direction, all the while maintaining your tree-walking."

The clone turned to face the second genin. "The same goes for you once you have mastered tree-walking. I'll add a few rocks and leaves before we practice water-walking.

"Get to work."

"Hai, sensei," the two said reluctantly. Kakashi noted the jealousy in Sasuke but chose not to speak up for now. That would be addressed during the first week, perhaps during the survival exercise?

The clone withdrew a very familiar orange-covered book from the storage seal in his pouch, and giggles filled the air as the two genin practiced.

– – – –

"Welcome, Mitarashi-sama!" the proprietor of Dangoya – The Best Dango in Hi no Kuni! – greeted her. "And who is this lovely young lady?" he asked with a courteous bow.

"This is me paying a favour and attempting to rid the world of a Fangirl at the same time," Anko replied with an audible capital letter 'F'.

"Gaki," she said to Sakura in her best intimidatory tone, "go find a seat."

It should be said that given her occupation as the Assistant Head of T&I, the best intimidatory tone Anko could wield was a _very effective_ intimidatory tone. With a frightened squeak that brightened this day in the life of Mitarashi Anko, Sakura scarpered to a nearby seat.

"I want my usual delivered to that table," she said to the proprietor with a finger pointing to the table the pink-haired genin had seated herself at. "Don't bother with more than a single plate for her."

"Of course, Mitarashi-sama," the proprietor said with a bow before disappearing in the direction of the kitchen.

Anko set herself in front of pinky, Haruno something or other, at the other side of the table, a slight grin on her face. Pinky looked nervous at her grin, but Anko could not find a reason why. She made an effort to reduce the normal bloodlust in her grins just for this occasion!

Kakashi wanted her to lecture his student about the dangers of dieting, so she would. "Calm down, gaki," she said imperiously. She could not lecture pinky if pinky ran away, no?

"Then don't grin like that!" pinky half-yelled.

She allowed her grin to return to its normal level of bloodlust. Pinky squeaked and Anko considered her point made, returning the grin to its toned-down level.

"Now listen up, gaki," she said, waving a dango skewer from the last time she visited Dangoya... all of two hours ago... in the air between them. "Kakashi tells me you've been dieting."

"Yes, so what?" she asked testily, and Anko grinned. _So there_ is _some fire to this girl! "_ I need to keep my figure for Sasuke-kun!" she exclaimed with hearts in her eyes, and Anko lost what little respect she had gained.

"Gaki," she said seriously. "Look at me."

She stood up and ditched her trenchcoat, revealing her stunning figure to the world. Most men in the establishment passed out almost immediately from blood loss. The few that did not were Anko's usual waiter and the proprietor, who had seen her do something provocative way too often to be really affected anymore.

Just as well, really. Anko would not have liked it if the plates of Nirvana the waiter was carrying were dropped onto the floor. She had put fools in the hospital for less.

"Your dango, Mitarashi-sama," the waiter said with a bow, putting no less than seven plates, upon which lay twenty-eight sticks of Heaven, in front of her. Anko grinned.

"Thanks," she said as she sat back down and started eating.

"Do you have no shame?" pinky asked incredulously. "Or table manners, for that matter," she added once she saw how Anko wolfed down her dango. It reminded her of how Naruto used to eat ramen during Academy lunch break before Yuuhi Kurenai quite literally pounded some table manners into him.

"Shame gets people killed, gaki," she said seriously and a shocked expression briefly flitted across pinky's face. "I trained in the nude often regardless of the presence of others of either gender to get rid of any shyness about my body. If not, someone could just rip your top open and you'd be dead faster than you could say 'hey'."

It was probably a good thing that she was talking at a normal volume or Dangoya would have another wave of bloodloss-induced incapacitations.

"The point is, however," Anko continued without waiting for pinky to talk back, "did you see the reaction of the men in the shop just now?"

"Yes," pinky said in distaste even. "Filthy perverts."

"Exactly," she said as she grabbed her third plate. "Now, what am I eating?"

"Dango," pinky said flatly. "Lots and lots of dango."

"Ding ding ding! – _scrunch –_ Give gaki a prize!" Anko exclaimed. "Now, I'll admit dango is not the healthiest of foods, despite it being far and away the most delicious _no matter what_ _any_ _blond gaki says_. However, I still eat 'round about sixty to seventy sticks _per day,_ if I'm not otherwise indisposed."

Pinky's eyes widened as Anko re-donned her jacket. "Per day?"

"Correct, Haruno-san," the proprietor said while walking back to the kitchen from an order placed by another table. His establishment wasn't so large that he could focus on management to the exclusion of all else, much like his friend Teuchi and his ramen stand. "Mitarashi-sama is far and away our best customer and we always lament it when she is sent on missions that take her away from the village."

"I see," pinky said in that tone that indicated that she had done the exact opposite. "Then how do you keep that figure?"

"Training, gaki," she replied. "As kunoichi, we can eat whatever we want, however much we want, as long as we ensure that we get at least a minimum of everything. The rest we burn off with training."

She waved a dango skewer in the air between them with a thoughtful expression on her face. "Since I've got you now, that's exactly what we'll be doing after I finish here." Her expression became filled with a murderous glee. "Kakashi told me that you'll be introduced to tree-walking today, and I have _just_ the thing needed to convince you to walk trees."

Sakura turned an apprehensive eye towards the purple-haired kunoichi of questionable sanity. "And that thing is?" she asked hesitantly.

" **Sen'eijashu!** " Anko exclaimed and a single snake burst from her sleeve to land on the table. Sakura leaped up with a shrill scream of fright. "Say hello to Kraitler-chan!" she said enthusiastically.

"Kraitler-chan, this is Haruno Sakura, otherwise known as 'pinky'. You'll get to help me train her for _at least_ an afternoon, maybe more if Kakashi agrees."

" _How ssso, Anko-sssama?_ "

"Pinky here is going to be start to learn tree-walking today. You've got pretty much carte blanche except for biting to..." she trailed off, looking for the proper word. " _Facilitate_ ," she eventually continued, "the exercise."

" _I await sssuch a moment with anticccipation, Anko-sssama. It isss alwaysss fun to ssscare two-legsss."_

Anko grinned a very feral grin. "I thought you'd see it like me. I'll call you again when we're at the training ground, I have dango to eat."

" _I ssshall wait with bated breath, Anko-sssama."_

In a poof of smoke, the snake disappeared from the table.

Sakura calmed down and took her sweet time to re-seat herself. Inner Sakura was sweating bullets at the display. _'I think we'd better run, shannaro!'_ Sakura agreed with her inner self, but was fairly certain that the crazy woman would be able to catch her before she reached the door.

"Will you require refills, Mitarashi-sama?" a waiter asked as Anko was happily finishing her dango, currently cleaning her seventh plate.

"No," she answered. "As much as I hate not ordering more dango, gaki and I have things to do, places to be, y'know?"

"Naturally, Mitarashi-sama," the waiter replied good-naturedly. "We look forward to your next visit, Mitarash-sama."

The pair spent the next few seconds in silence while Anko ate her dango, and then decided to eat the uneaten dango on Sakura's plate.

No sense wasting good dango.

Anko patted her stomach. "Aaah, dango is always good," Anko said in a breathy voice before she rose from her seat. "Come on, gaki. Let's go."

Sakura hesitated while Anko walked towards the door, not wanting to spend more time with the woman who was practically radiating bloodlust even when she was fairly calm. Apparently she had taken too long, for the aforementioned woman hurled a kunai in her direction that left a thin scratch on her cheek and suddenly appeared behind her, collecting the blood on a finger before licking that finger with a sensual moan that caused a renewed round of nosebleeds from the male patronage of Dangoya.

"Absolutely delicious," she said breathily. "Blood laced with fear is always so very tasty."

She pierced Sakura with a frightening glance and lifted the pink-haired girl to her feet. "Now, as I said, gaki... let's _go._ MUSH!"

With a frightened yelp, Sakura jumped up and practically flew out of Dangoya, a purple-haired kunoichi hot on her heels.

– – – –

After she had escaped Anko at five, Sakura had returned to her earlier training ground only to be set the same exercise she had just been doing for a few hours, and infinitely preferred the methods Kakashi-sensei employed. She could not deny that her hours under Anko-san were _effective_ though. Having a venomous constrictor snake, something unique to the Snake Summons, waiting at the base of the tree in case she failed the exercise was one hell of a motivator. Compared to that, Kakashi, who had seemed so harsh earlier, was like paradise on Earth.

At six-fifteen, fifteen minutes after Kakashi had dismissed them for the day, Sakura limped inside her house where her mother was working her magic in the kitchen.

"Hello sweetie," her mother called from the kitchen. "How was your day?"

"Strenuous," she replied as she sat herself down at the table. "How long until dinner is ready? I feel like I could eat a herd of horses and still have room for more."

"Weren't you on a diet to impress Uchiha-san?" her mother asked curiously.

"I spent almost five hours training with Mitarashi Anko," she said in a dead voice. "More specifically, I spent lunch and an after-lunch training session with Anko. She eats dango like Naruto-baka eats ramen."

"Anko..." her mother said, her voice trailing off in thought. "Purple hair done Nara-style, Bloodthirsty, crazy, and a body I would kill to have?"

"Dunno about the last, kaa-san, but the first three are correct."

"Ah. That'll do it," her mother answered as her mother started to set the table.

"How can you be so calm, kaa-san?"

"I used to be a kunoichi myself for a few years before I had an accident that permanently burned out my chakra coils, remember?" her mother said. "I could have told you myself that dieting wasn't going to do you much good in the ninja world, but the few times I tried to broach the subject you were so confident you knew better."

Sakura blushed. "What about Kakashi-sensei mentioning that ninja need to eat 3 500 kilocalories per day? That can't be true, right?"

"It's not," her mother answered curtly, and a satisfied expression appeared on Sakura's face before it was wiped off and replaced with a shocked expression at her mother's next words. "Back when I was a kunoichi, I ate an average of 5 000 kilocalories per day, often breaching ten on particularly intensive training days."

Her mother appeared briefly from the kitchen to wave a ladle in Sakura's general direction with a stern expression on her face. "And let me tell you my dear, I didn't look half bad back in the day. Not up to Anko's level, but I had little fat, a sizeable bust that left many a man drooling, and an ass that I allowed Jiraiya-sama to use in his novels after your father passed on." She looked down at her chest with a sad expression. "I wonder where my boobs have gone the past decade. Though sometimes it seems like they simply moved to supplement my ass."

"MOM!" Sakura yelled with a massive blush on her face from her mother's frank words.

"So now that you have seen the truth of the culinary world and its effects on a ninja's body, it's time I gave you something I would otherwise have given you two years ago when you had your first period."

Sakura gulped at the grin that had appeared on her mother's face.

"But first, dinner!" she said excitedly while clapping her hands. "A nice steak with boiled potatoes and beans. Nothing special, but it gets the job done." At her daughter's look, she simply said, "I remember my first training day, Sakura-chan. I _literally_ ate a dozen steaks," with a sheepish expression on her face. "So I prepared accordingly."

For the next half hour, the only sound they made was the tinkling of cutlery on plates as they ate. When they were done and had cleaned the table, washed the dishes, and poured themselves a drink, Haruno Mebuki forcefully pulled her daughter onto the couch and sat herself next to her daughter, wrapping an arm around the younger pink-haired woman's shoulders with a near-manic grin on her face.

Sakura gulped. That particular grin on her mother's face _never_ meant anything good...

"Now, when a boy and girl _like_ each other..."

– – – –

"Heya Anko-nee! Yuugao-nee! Kurenai-nee!" Naruto said excitedly as he knocked on the door of the Snake Den, as Anko called her apartment. Over the years since her return after Orochimaru's betrayal, her two closest friends Uzuki Yuugao – known to some as ANBU-taichō Neko – and Yuuhi Kurenai – the Genjutsu Mistress of Konoha, not that that title held as much import as it did when the Uchiha and Kurama clans were still abundant – moved in with her, and after Yuugao had come to the scene at his apartment four years ago he had become an unofficial fourth resident, a position many men in Konoha would kill to be in.

The Ice Queens, as the three were also known, were considered to be the three most beautiful women in the village and he had seen each and every one of them half-naked at some point, though he did not pass out from a nosebleed at the sight because his hormones hadn't kicked in yet.

"Hey there, Naruto-kun," Yuugao said as she held open the door to allow him entry. "How have you been?"

"Pretty good, all things considered," he answered. "Kakashi-sensei is a slave driver."

"Oh?" Yuugao said, surprise evident in her voice. "The Laziest Non-Nara of Konoha is a slave-driver?" Yuugao tried to reconcile his words with her image of the perpetually tardy jōnin, to little success. "Somehow I can't imagine that."

"Yeah, well..." Naruto began as Kurenai entered the living room with Anko, carrying a large plate laden with small snacks. The mixed scent of crackers with salmon, crackers with various cheeses, onigiri, freshly grilled yakitori, and dorayaki filled the room. "He said he was ordered by Hokage-sama to step up his game, shake the rust off." Naruto shrugged, and missed the glances the three shared.

Kurenai simply asked, "Candidate?" as Anko and herself set the plate down.

"Candidate," the other two replied curtly. Naruto looked between them with a confused expression on his face that made the other three have to resist hugging him with a squeal of 'kawaii'.

"What are you on about?" he asked.

"Nothing you should be worried about, Naruto-kun," Yuugao replied. "At least, not until you become a chuunin and by then it'll likely be common knowledge."

"If you say so, Yuugao-nee."

They each grabbed a small snack, and Kurenai turned to Naruto. "So, Naruto-kun," she began, "what are you doing here?"

Anko answered for him. "Gaki told me he'd show me where he was the past two weeks."

Yuugao and Kurenai sat up slightly straighter. "Oh, did he now?" they asked in unison with a hint of something in their eyes that told Naruto quite clearly that if they didn't get to come along they would tort... put him through training. He gulped and reached out through the seal to his mother.

_'Kaa-chan?'_

_'Yes, musuko-kun?'_

_'Is it alright if I bring Uzuki Yuugao and Yuuhi Kurenai along with Anko?'_

_'My old kawaii genin! Please do!'_

Naruto allowed his expression to fall into a deadpan, causing the three women around him to wonder what was up. "He was like this at noon too, all out of it," Anko said.

' _Do you know_ everyone _in the village, kaa-chan?'_

_'Not everyone,_ ' she replied teasingly. ' _Just everyone of importance.'_

"OI, GAKI!" Anko yelled, snapping Naruto out of his conversation. "You spaced out again. What gives?"

He coughed. "Mental communication seal," he explained shortly, and three eyebrows belonging to three different persons rose to meet three hairlines. He squirmed under the scrutiny.

"I'll explain in detail later, when we're there."

Neither of them pressed him for explaining where 'there' was, figuring they'd find out soon.

"So that means 'Nai-chan and Yuu-chan can join, yeah?" Anko inquired.

"Yes," he replied shortly.

"SWEET!" Anko said jubilantly as she jumped out of her chair and marched towards the door. "Let's GO!"

The three remaining inside just looked at her retreating back and waited patiently.

"Ten ryō says five minutes," Naruto said into the silence.

"Deal," Yuugao said. "Kurenai?"

Kurenai pursed her lips. "You know I don't like gambling."

"Fine," Naruto said peaceably. The three settled down to wait.

Exactly five minutes later, Anko re-appeared in the doorway with a sheepish grin on her face and Yuugao grumbled as she handed ten ryō to Naruto.

"Soo..." Anko trailed off. "Naruto, lead the way?"

Soft laughter from three sources filled the apartment. This was from the first, or even hundredth time Anko did something like this, but it never got old.

"Yeah yeah, laugh it up," Anko said without much vitriol. "Shall we, gaki?"

"Let's," he agreed. "First stop, Training Ground 43."

– – – –

"These are some pretty weird plants, Naruto-kun," Yuugao said before something caught her eye. "Is that the castor oil plant?"

"It is, though it's been mutated by exposure to non-human chakra," he explained, drawing three inquiring looks. "All will be explained later."

"In addition," he continued with nary a missed beat, "This garden contains mutated almonds, various plants not native to the Elemental Nations, numerous other poisonous plants native to at least one of the Elemental Nations and a few plants that are actually very edible, even to full humans."

"So that's where Inoichi got his new stock from," Anko said with a 'eureka' tone.

"Full humans?" Kurenai asked curiously, the words having stood out to her. Naruto waved dismissively.

"Like I said, it'll be clear shortly."

With that, he walked up to the traditional shogi door and slid it open before pausing in the doorway. With a flex of his chakra, the illusion hiding his tails and ears vanished and three squeals rang through the air. Not even the hardened jōnin were completely immune to the kawaii instinct all females seemed to possess.

_I should have foreseen this,_ Naruto thought as he felt the three women hugging him and stroking his tails. He shuddered. His tails were _sensitive_ , and the base of them was apparently an erogenous spot according to his mother.

"..."

"A..."

"I think gaki wants to say something, Yuu-chan," Anko said from where she was hugging, stroking, and cuddling with two of the seven tails.

"Air!" he finally gasped out, and the two women hugging his torso released him with sheepish expressions on their faces. A brief flash lit up the scene.

"Prime blackmail material, musuko-kun," the previously unnoticed figure standing before them said.

He felt more than saw the other three completely freeze.

Anko, Kurenai, and Yuugao could not believe their eyes. There, in the doorway, stood the woman who was in many ways more a family member than their actual blood relations.

"Sensei?"

"Kushina-nee?" Anko got out, barely managing to stop stuttering. She was the Assistant Head of T&I damnit, she did not stutter!

Kushina spread her arms, inviting Anko for a hug. It didn't take long for Anko to take a shaky step forward, rub her eyes, and then tackle-hug the red-haired woman, burying her head in the crook of the older woman's neck. Sobs filled the atmosphere, and Naruto swiftly went inside in almost complete silence.

"Nee-chan," Anko said in a voice filled with a bevy of emotions. "Where were you the last decade?"

In response, all Kushina did was remove the illusion hiding her tails and wrap the nine previously hidden tails around Anko. Anko didn't notice, but two other two did.

"Sensei," Yuugao uttered, hurt evident in her voice. "Why did you never tell us you were the Kyuubi?"

"Because the Bijuu don't have the best of reputations in the Elemental Nations," Kushina said softly, nearly purring under Anko's fresh assault on fluffy tails now that she had noticed them and drawn her own conclusions. "Minato-kun knew, Jiraiya-sama knew, Tsunade-sensei knew, and a few Hyuuga knew. Not even Sandaime-sama knew until a week and a half ago, nor did Kakashi-kun until yesterday."

"I see," Yuugao said softly, placated, before she too rushed forward and joined the hug her sensei had with Anko. Kurenai followed not long after.

"I guess I owe you an explanation, don't I?" Kushina said after a few minutes of just standing there with her tails wrapped around all three of the younger women. "Let's go inside, this is going to take a while..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> – – – –
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Sen'eijashu: Hidden Shadow Snake Hands.
> 
> Kawaii: cute.
> 
> Gaki: brat.
> 
> – – – –
> 
> A/N: The name of Anko's snake is a shout-out to The Tragedy of Repetition, by SoulShdw, a fic I enjoyed.
> 
> I decided to go with the fact that, while inspiring words may be remembered forever, what truly makes people change is seeing something. Specifically, the masturbatory material that is Anko's body with her habits of eating. As for the proprietor, his shop isn't that big that he can spend all his time doing paperwork, much like Teuchi is the proprietor and chief chef of Ichiraku Ramen.
> 
> Also, because people asked, here's a quick review of ages that are relevant or may become relevant in the future.
> 
> Naruto is twelve, as are the Rookie Nine (who may remain the Rookie Nine depending on my decisions pertaining Sasuke). The three that complete the Konoha 11 (or 12) are a year older.
> 
> Yuugao is 22
> 
> Anko is 24
> 
> Kakashi is 26, as are Gai and Asuma
> 
> Kurenai is 27 as of two days ago in the fic
> 
> Kushina is 110, though in human form she is 38 (this is including time spent inside the seal, her human form was 26 when she was sealed), and looks 24. This makes Kushina almost exactly six years older than the Uzumaki Mito of this fic.
> 
> Kurenai failed her first go at the chuunin exams and was placed on a team with Yuugao under Kushina after Kushina's original line up had one member graduate. In this story, the Chuunin exams were put into place somewhere before the third lustrum of the Shinobi Villages.
> 
> Yes, that does mean that Kakashi has a parental relationship with someone only slightly more than a decade his elder. That's just how messed up Kakashi's life is.
> 
> Lastly; many, many fanfics have Sakura's mother on the Civilian Council. I got tired of reading such, so she isn't one here. In addition, while the council in this fic started off as fanon it got curbed heavily even before the first chapter was over. If you're looking for an Uchiha-loving Council... forget it.
> 
> Do remember that last chapter mentioned nothing about the Council threatening Kakashi if he failed the Uchiha, and it's not as if Kakashi has much of a life outside missions and icha icha before he became a sensei.
> 
> Inspiration for the training scene came from Dark Angel of Auralon's 'Dark Phoenix of Konoha'. There's a fair bit of cliché in that fic and a few headscratchers (Scrolls with clan techniques do not end up in the open garbage, they get incinerated on the spot to prevent clan secrets from leaking out. They are ninja, and do not lack common sense), but it provided a good template for Competent!Kakashi, so it gets a mention.
> 
> I can only hope that I did Anko's character justice.
> 
> Next chapter will feature some more training (though not too much), and Team Seven's first D-rank, which will, naturally, be Tora.
> 
> Because a fic just isn't complete without at least one Tora mission.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter establishes a bit of background information and some of the rules concerning Kitsune illusions, in addition to establishing some of the background of Sasuke – which is different from canon like whoa – and introducing Team Seven to the mission system.
> 
> To those who PM'd me about Sasuke, it is not Sasuke who is OOC. It is Fugaku.
> 
> Contrary to earlier promise, this chapter does not contain a D-rank, because Naruto and Kushina just wouldn't shut up. In return, you get a Codex entry :D

 

A grunt.

The ruffling sound of cloth rubbing against cloth. The creaking of a bed as the person using it was thrashing about. The deeper groans of the aforementioned bed as most of the weight it carried was displaced to an edge.

The soft thuds as two uncovered feet met the hard wooden floor. The equally soft pitter-patter of these very uncovered feet walking about on said floor.

The lethargy-inducing sound of a very prolonged yawn.

Uzumaki Naruto had awoken. He turned his head towards the alarm clock.

_03:00_

_Four hours until the set alarm. Joy._ The door creaked open, and Naruto turned bleary eyes towards the person who had opened it. “Why am I awake already, mom? It’s hours before I was supposed to wake up!” 

His mother nodded, and only now he noticed that she was still fully dressed. “Humans, for all their strength and flexibility in their power, have the biggest weakness in that they need the most rest of all sentient races and species on this planet of ours. Kitsune are in the upper half of rest requirements, but considering that fact that the upper half is essentially ‘three hours per night or more’, my only surprise is that your reduced need for sleep took two weeks to kick in.”

“Perhaps because I’m only half-Kitsune?”

“Perhaps,” she allowed. “C’mon, I’ll get something to eat, and then we’re going to find productive ways to fill the extra hours we’ve got.”

“Like?” he asked, curious.

“I’ve got two things,” his mother said. “The first is Kitsune illusions. The second is your first foray into actually drawing and activating seals.” His ears perked up. He’d been practicing calligraphy and learning sealing theory for two weeks now in preparation for actually getting to draw them, and perhaps push some chakra into one as well while he was at it. “Theory is all fine and dandy, but actually drawing them is another matter entirely.”

“Drawing seals?” he asked excitedly. “Really?”

“Oh yes,” his mother said with a nod. “Assuming you pass the final calligraphic test, of course.”

His ears slumped a little. “Of course,” he parroted, a little sadness in his voice shining through.

“Relax, musuko-kun,” she said. “Your work during the last session was well above-par for what I consider necessary for drawing seals, I just need it official for the files.”

She turned to leave. “I’ll have some food ready in the front garden in fifteen minutes or so.”

“’Kay, kaa-chan.”

Fifteen minutes saw Naruto showered, dressed, and downstairs. His mother, however, was nowhere in sight. He could smell some food wafting down from somewhere, but the smells of the flowers negated any chance he had of trying to locate his mother that way.

“Say, kaa-chan,” Naruto said, as much to locate his mother as a prelude to an actual question.

“Yes, Naruto-kun?” his mother replied from ten metres away and slightly to his left.

“I was wondering about the Kage Bunshin. How is it that they can punch something as hard as they want, but can’t take even a fraction of that damage?”

“That’s because the Kage Bunshin is, essentially, a chakra matrix,” his mother replied. “The Kage Bunshin is designed to ‘subconsciously’ reinforce itself whenever it almost hits something with a punch. Or, to put it more accurately, the Kage Bunshin chakra matrix reinforces itself upon making ‘conscious’ external contact to prevent destabilization of the matrix.”

“Which is also why hitting it with a dull senbon pops it,” Naruto hedged. “The matrix does not ‘consciously’ register the external contact and cannot counteract, thus destabilizing.”

“Correct!” she beamed at him. ‘ _We’ve come a long way with your intelligence in these short few weeks, Naruto-kun’_ , she sent over the mental communication link. 

“Yes, we have, haven’t we?” he said rhetorically. “I can’t believe it’s only been two weeks.”

“Time flies when you’re having fun,” she responded. “Or doing some long overdue mother-son bonding, as is the case.”

“Indeed.”

They ate the rest of the meal, some bread with cheese and sausages, in silence.

After they had finished and stowed the remnants somewhere off to the side, Kushina motioned for him to sit next to her, wrapping her tails around him when he acquiesced. Naruto leaned into his mother’s side.  _There’s that strange scent again…_

“So, Kitsune illusions,” his mother started We’ve not done all that much with them the past few weeks, because I find that they’re best learned at night, and you’ve only had a few days where you were awake late enough to properly do so. Now that your reduced need for sleep has kicked in, we’ll be able to hold nightly sessions, missions out of the village not included, of course.

“So, what can you remember about Kitsune illusions?”

“They’re constructs made from almost entirely Yin, or Reiryoku depending on who you ask, and are thus entirely superior to all chakra and Yōki illusions. **Inton** wielders excepted, of course.”

“Of course.”

“The constructs have four sets of rules, roughly categorized as illusions on self, illusion on target, illusion on group, and illusion on world. The illusions on self, like the ones that hide my tails and ears whenever I go outside the cave, are essentially the biggest cousin of the **Henge no Jutsu** , with the additional options for invisibility and other things the Henge doesn’t cover. Only a direct foreign Yin infusion or loss of concentration, such as sleep, can break these illusions.”

“Very good, if rudimentary. Continue, please.”

“The second, illusion on target, are single-target illusions directly affecting a single target’s mind. They are practically identical to standard chakra illusions in their scope, able to manipulate, including obfuscation or enhancement, each of the five senses of the target. If the caster is a sensor, that sense can be altered as well. Kitsune illusions on a target _can_ be broken with a pulse of standard chakra or yōki, but this takes a lot more than with chakra or yōki-fuelled illusions due to the fact that they’re almost purely Yin.” 

“Excellent job so far, Naruto-kun. Please, continue.”

“The third category, illusions on group, is essentially identical to the second, but the various illusions are linked together, reinforcing each other. However, if one fails all fail, but this does take approximately _n_ times the amount of chakra, where _n_ is the number of people whose illusions are linked. A perfectly synchronized burst of chakra from all targets allows for the dispelling of the illusion with no additional effort compared to the second category. This method is limited to a single illusion per group, as in, the individual linked members share the same illusion.”

“And the last one?”

“Illusions upon the world. Area-of-effect illusions that are used almost exclusively to make people think something isn’t there that is. The other way around _can_ be done quite easily, but sees little use in practice. Casting it requires an anchor to hold the illusion in place. Dispelling the illusion requires an infusion of foreign chakra into the anchor, which is the only thing the illusion cannot alter and has to be of suitable size to accommodate it. For this reason, areas that are often targeted by world-class illusions have big boulders brought inside the affected area, often a structure that needs to be hidden.”

She grinned a wide, vulpine grin. “Very good, musuko-kun. You remembered everything I told you and apparently even read ahead in the book I gave you.”

Naruto blushed. “It was interesting reading.” He paused. “I can’t believe that phrase just left my mouth.”

Kushina giggled. “Well, it just did.”

“Right,” she said firmly to get back on track. “Every Kitsune starts off their illusionary education by casting the three most rudimentary types of illusions on self. Camouflage, Transformation, and Conjuration, the latter of which is only _technically_ an illusion.”

“How so?”

“In a process similar to the mythical Banbutsu Sōzō, we Create things from our Yin. They lose consistency when they leave direct contact with the Yin source and we cannot Create life, which is why it is called Conjuration. For inanimate objects it is virtually identical to Creation, however.”

“And its only technically an illusion because it doesn’t last after it leaves the power source?”

“Yes,” she answered simply. “Shall we get started?”

He simply nodded, far too nervous from excitement and tension to speak. All throughout the Academy he had tried the genjutsu they had taught, some E-rank stuff designed to be used in the Academy with little real-world applicability, and failed time and time again because of his enormous chakra reserves. Now he was having the chance to learn illusions he could actually cast, and was wondering if this would go the way his attempts at illusions always went.

“Right,” his mother said, bringing him out of his thoughts. “First, tell me about Yin.”

Naruto nodded and got into a comfortable position. “Yin, or Reiryoku depending on who you ask, is one of the two energies involved in the Dawn of Creation, when Ame-no-Minakanushi-no-Mikoto shaped everything, and everything was in balance. The material, energy without form or Yang, and the immaterial, form without energy or Yin, existed in balance.”

Kushina nodded, and motioned for him to continue. “As the material world conjoined with the spiritual world, existence as we know it was formed. When the Kotoamatsukami gave birth to the first generation of Kami, Izanagi-no-Mikoto and Izanami-no-Mikoto, and they in turn spawned the generation of Kami that includes Amaterasu-Oomikami and Susano’o-no-Mikoto, and they in turn engendered Humanity and the various Demonic races, the latter modeled after animals and made far less flexible in capacity than Humanity in return for being stronger. For example, a Thunderbird will never wield anything other than lightning, much as a Firebird will never wield anything other than fire. All have, to varying degrees that depend on species, the ability to call upon Yin, though the demons call it Reiryoku.”

“Some gaps, but overall not bad. And how exactly do we channel Yin?”

“Yin is channeled by focusing on the concept of form without energy. Alternatively, because I am a partial human with human chakra and yōki, I can take my normal chakra and attempt to separate it into its component Yin and Yang pieces.”

“Whereas trueborn Kitsune usually have hardly any yōki, relatively speaking, so channeling Yin is something they’re likely to do subconsciously,” Kushina added before shrugging. “Eh, it’ll do. Especially as you already can call upon Yin and have mastered the first of the Three Basics, Camouflage. Hiding your tails and ears and replacing them with those of another species, in your case human. Which brings us to the next of the Three Basics: Transformation. Do a Henge to, say, an owl.”

Almost subconsciously, Naruto ran through the three handseals for the Henge and when the resultant poof of smoke had cleared, a snowy white owl stood in his place. Kushina poked him and he let out a baleful  _hoot_ in response. “ _That hurt, damnit!”_

“So it is so,” she said with a light frown. “You can change back now. And mind your language.”

A poof later and her son stood, once again, before her. “What the hell was that for?”

“ **Inton: Henge** ,” was her simple reply. 

“Wu-?”

“You’ve been unconsciously using your Yin to fuel your Henge, Naruto-kun. Perhaps some of your instincts leaked out from the suppressing seal?” She shook her head a little. “It doesn't matter.”

She smiled brightly. “ What does matter is that t hat means that you have the second one down too, and for quite a number of years at that. Though, mind you, true mastery is only attained when you can weave Yin without the use of handseals, as they are a human invention even though they are useful.” 

“Right,” he said with a nod. “Work on using Henge without handseals. How about the last one?” 

“Not tonight, musuko-kun,” she replied, and she could practically feel him start to shake with excitement at the implications. “Since I kind of didn’t prepare the proper material to practice Conjuration, it requires a very unique trance to be initiated, which can only be done by a very specific herb. Which is two months away from maturity and harvesting.”

“Aww, why so long?” Naruto whined, though he didn’t put his best effort into making it sound convincing. With the herb out of commission for the foreseeable future, that meant only one thing: seals. 

He salivated internally at the thought.

“Because giving form from Yin is not something any brain can simply handle,” she replied. “Creation is the realm of the Gods or those with the Rinnegan, and while our Conjuration is _not_ true Creation, it is sufficiently close to it for inanimate objects that our brains literally cannot compute. The trance fixes this, and once the first Conjuration is successful, a mental switch gets flipped that allows it even without the trance. Right now, however, this doesn't really matter, as the herb is not ready. As you have probably guessed that means that we’re going to get started on drawing seals,” she said, handing him a paper with some rather advanced calligraphy exercises. It wasn’t at the level he had been practicing, so it should be a piece of cake. “You have a minute to complete this sheet, musuko-kun.” 

She unsealed ink and a brush from one of the many tattoos on her arms that were normally hidden and handed them to her son.

Exactly fifty-two seconds later, Naruto handed the completed sheet back.

Kushina nodded, and wit h but a glance deemed it sufficient. “ So, let's get to work, shall we?”

\-----

The Land of Sound, formerly the Land of Rice, was host to a series of bunkers that together formed the conglomerate of ‘Otogakure no Sato’, with heavy air-quotes around the part where it is called a village. Otogakure, Oto for short, was nothing more than the attempt of a madman to attain his dream. Orochimaru, the self-proclaimed Otokage, had two dreams in particular; learning every jutsu and creating the perfect shinobi. The latter was a dying dream after the incorporation of multiple elemental bloodlines invariably tore the subject apart. He had six hundred recorded attempts and six hundred recorded _catastrophic_ failures. The former…

Orochimaru was actually on the cusp of achieving his first dream. All he needed was a Sharingan.  _Fortunately_ , Kabuto reflected as he walked through the featureless grey mass that was the main bunker,  _I have news on that front._

Three turns, and several equally grey corridors later, he knocked on the third door on the right-hand side, a door that looked completely identical to every other door. Kabuto knew where, and more importantly  _how_ to look, however, and knew that behind this door lay the single-most dangerous man outside of Akatsuki. 

“Enter,” a voice near-hissed from the other side. “Aaah, Kabuto,” Orochimaru said once Kabuto had opened the door. “What news do you bring?”

“Uchiha Sasuke is on Team Seven with Haruno Sakura and Uzumaki Naruto. Hatake Kakashi is his jōnin-sensei. Additionally, a chance eavesdrop on the apartment of your former apprentice as I was leaving for this C-rank revealed that Hatake-san has been ordered to ‘step up his game’, likely meaning that we’ll be seeing a Godaime Kakashi after the next Chūnin Exams.” 

“Haruno… civilian,” Orochimaru hissed. “Worthless. Uzumaki.. isn’t he the Kyūbi brat?”

“He is, Orochimaru-sama,” Kabuto confirmed.

“Then he, too, is worthless. At least for the seal. I doubt my former colleagues would be pleased if I got my fangs on the Kyūbi brat, and as strong as I am, I am no match for Pain. Or Konan, for that matter.” Orochimaru pierced Kabuto with a glare. “Inform Guren that she is to take over the training of the genin squad we’re sending to the Chūnin exams. With a Godaime candidate as sensei Sasuke-kun is undoubtedly going to be strong enough to smash through everyone in the exams, bar the ringers, and I want my genin to at least be a good challenge to Sasuke-kun.”

Kabuto nodded. “As you wish, so it shall be, Orochimaru-sama. By your leave?”

“Dismissed,” Orochimaru confirmed. With a soft click, far softer than the steel of the door would suggest possible, Kabuto vanished from view behind the once-again closed door.

Orochimaru allowed a pleased smile to show on his face. Things were going far better than planned.

\-----

“Dobe,” Sasuke said as a way of greeting when a heavily singed Naruto appeared on Training Ground Seven ten minutes before training was supposed to start. “What happened to you?”

Naruto coughed. It was a dry, rasping sound that reminded him of his mother shortly after _that night._ Despite this, he looked on curiously, and barely registered Hatake-sensei arriving and looking at the blond with surprise, realization, and dawning horror. A small part of him wondered why his sensei, a jōnin and thus one of the village's _elite_ , would look at the genin, who was only addressed as 'dobe' because to actually call Naruto 'friend' would happen only at the ending of the world but _was still a genin_ , with such an expression. 

“Kaa-chan graduated me from learning about seals to actually drawing and activating them myself,” Naruto got out between coughs. “But learning about seals and actually drawing them are two entirely different beasts, so when I tried to create a flash tag I kind of messed up and produced a smoke tag. A _tar smoke_ tag.”

Sasuke winced. Tar smoke was a relatively recent invention, only about twenty years old or so, but he had been on the receiving end of one during  _that night_ from one of his fellow clansmen that threw it and detonated it too close to him. The tar smoke had stuck to his lungs – its intended function – and had taken the better part of  _four_ _months_ , with  near-daily medical assistance, to be removed from his lungs entirely. 

“Fortunately,” the half-blond continued, “I have something of a superb healing factor, so I should be fine a week from now.”

“How did you manage that?” Sakura asked with no trace of her usual disdain for Naruto present, and Sasuke raised an eyebrow. That girl's multiple-personality disorder was _really_ freaking him out at times. 

On the other hand, the combat potential... complete immunity to genjutsu, with the possible exception of Tsukuyomi, because each personality has its own command over the chakra network so if the main personality gets caught in an illusion, the 'back-up' personality can break it out.

“As you may or may not know, seals use specialized kanji, katakana, hiragana, and romaji combined to create the tag,” Naruto said, drawing a nod from the other two genin. “Seals are generally divided into five sections, more or less depending on the specific seal, and each section has a purpose. For example, the top-most section, named North, is generally about power regulation. The center, also called the root, is the one that covers that actual effect produced, and for this reason tends to be far larger than usual so that identification of an explosive tag and a storage scroll is easy on first glance. With me so far?”

Sasuke and Sakura nodded.

“Well, flash tags, smoke tags, exploding tags, and all their variants are essentially identical, excluding those with non-standard time delays. Insert chakra to ignite a fuse, tag activates and produces the effect. As a result, only the root specialized kanji, the ones that govern that what the tag produces is an explosion, or smoke, or whatever is different. With me so far?” 

“Storage scrolls too?” Sasuke asked.

Naruto shook his head. “No, teme, storage scrolls include a component that preserves whatever is stored inside, so you can't accidentally create a storage scroll when trying to create an explosive tag. The tags I was discussing use the chakra fed into it to create the effect on the spot. It's why you don't need to seal tar smoke into a tar smoke tag prior to use.”

“I see,” Sasuke said, and he _did_ see. Naruto actually managed to explain it in terms that he could understand, which meant that he had studied and understood the sealing theory he was discussing thoroughly. Which could prove interesting and useful on missions. “I take it, then, that the root kanji for the tar smoke tag and the flash tag are similar?” 

Naruto nodded. “Two strokes difference  out of twenty , yes,  one of which is only different in the length of the stroke. ”

Sasuke nodded, and was about to ask further when a clap interrupted him.

“As fascinating as that is, we've got training to do,” Hatake-sensei said and all three genin focused on him.

“Today we're entering the routine that we will be in until the time comes that the Teams Eight and Ten are ready for C-ranks. Breakfast, training, lunch, a D-rank or two, and then some more training until dinner,” Hatake-sensei said, and even Sasuke was hard-pressed to hide the excited glimmer in his eyes at the prospect of their first mission.

“As funny as it would be to see your reactions to the usual fare of D-ranks, which are essentially glorified _chores_ ,” Hatake-sensei began, something of distaste in his voice which piqued his curiosity. _Chores_? “Think things like weeding a garden, walking the Inuzuka dogs, et cetera,”  Hatake-sensei clarified, “We will-

_What in the Nine Realms?_ “How are those ninja-appropriate missions?”  Sasuke interrupted.

“They're supposed to build teamwork,” Hatake-sensei said simply, and Naruto and Sasuke snorted at the same time.

“Teamwork from shared humiliation, perhaps,” Naruto said, articulating what was on his own mind as well. Hatake-sensei gave them an eyesmile.

“Can anyone guess why we won't be taking those types of D-rank missions?”

_Sensei mentioned that we're supposed to be a heavy combat team. Umino-sensei said that heavy combat teams are the most likely teams to be called for backing up other, less combat oriented teams. Like the heavily tracking-focused Team Eight and the capture-interrogation focused Team Ten. Ergo, we need to be ready for such a task when Team Eight and Team Ten start C-ranks. If I remember Umino-sensei correctly, a team is only allowed to back up another if they have three or more of the same ranked mission under their belt, unless no other option is open._

Sasuke liked where his reasoning was taking him. If it took Teams Eight and Ten a month to start C-ranks – hadn't Hatake-sensei mentioned something to that effect? Sasuke wasn't sure – then they would have had to do three C-ranks before the month was out. Which meant that they had to use practically every spare moment training. Which included D-ranks.

“Because we're supposed to be back-up for Teams Eight and Ten,” Sasuke said succintly. “If we're going to be strong enough to be able to back them up and not make the situation worse, we'll need to train practically every waking moment in _something_.”

Sakura nodded, apparently having reached the same conclusion as he had while Naruto looked at him with dawning realization. Despite himself, Sasuke was impressed. He had to thoroughly re-evaluate the pinkette, especially if she still retained a logical capacity for thought while in his presence after more than a few days, something she failed to display the entire time in the Academy in the classes they shared.

“Exactly,” Hatake-sensei said. “I have a deal with Kurenai and Asuma that they won't bring up C-ranks of their own until two months from now. If their genin ask, however, they will not deny if they think their genin are ready, which was about as good a promise as I could get. So we have two months in which we have to get three completed C-ranks under Team Seven's collective belt. Given the fact that a team is not eligible for a C-rank until they have completed twenty-five D-ranks, we have our work cut out for us, though thankfully we don't need twenty-five D-ranks for each C-rank.”

All three genin sighed in relief, and Hatake-sensei motioned for them to follow. Scrambling to their feet, Sasuke and Sakura joined Naruto in following their sensei to... obstacle courses. There were two parallel obstacle courses, both featuring monkey bars, vertical walls, rope bridges, and more. The one on the right, however, looked to be far more difficult, featuring more advanced combinations of the various obstacles, such as a vertical wall that connected to monkey bars at its top, leading directly into a rope bridge before transforming into a slanted monkey bar rack. From the distance he was at, Sasuke could see markings on both sets of monkey bars that he assumed were seals of some kind.

Sasuke didn't know how to feel about this, truth be told. It was obvious that he needed to use chakra to stick to the various surfaces, but he hadn't gotten tree-climbing down yet. Somewhere he felt white-hot rage at not getting the same level of training others did, but another part of him was extremely glad he wasn't going to suffer torture like _that_ for a while.

“For the next hour, we will be doing training similar to what we did yesterday. Broody, as you're yet to complete the tree-walking exercise, you're going to be doing that. Here's a kunai to mark your progress,” Hatake-sensei said, flinging a kunai his direction with a flick of the wrist. Sasuke gave a curt 'hn' as he picked up the kunai.

“As Naruto and Sakura already can tree-walk, they get to do something a little different. You two see the obstacle course on the left?” he asked, receiving two nods from the genin in question.

“Monkey bars are usually traversed by grasping them with your hands and swinging, like a monkey. Obviously, with tree-walking in mind, you will do no such thing. In fact, if your hands touch any obstacle on the course for even so much as a single millisecond... you can start over. Naturally,” he added pointedly when he felt Sakura begin to channel chakra to her back, “the resistance seals _stay on_.”

Sakura groaned, but otherwise remained silent.

With a modified Ox seal and a poof of smoke, Hatake-sensei willed a Kage Bunshin into existence. “Aid Sasuke,” he ordered himself. The clone nodded, and took Sasuke to a nearby tree before whipping out the near ever-present orange book. The original guided Naruto and Sakura to the obstacle course, and soon loud shrieks and curses filled the air.

“Hmm,” Hatake-sensei mused. “Perhaps I should have mentioned the obstacle course is covered in seals that make sticking to the course harder?”

Despite himself, Sasuke grinned.

He was _so glad_ he didn't have to do that yet. He got distracted for a moment watching his sensei work on his own obstacle course. Like the man had promised, he trained in everything they did but took it one step further. He was putting a solid pace through the obstacle course, but Sasuke could see the kanji for the resistance seal reading 'four', instead of their 'one'.

And the way Hatake-sensei moved through the obstacle course was like watching poetry in motion.

“Broody,” the clone next to him said with a hint of impatience and warning. Sasuke nodded.

It was time to get to work.

Ten minutes and a half-traversed tree bark later, Sasuke had an idea when he remembered a half-forgotten conversation over dinner one night, a year or two before _that night_.

“ _Damn that Hatake bastard! He's desecrating everything the Uchiha ever stood for by not giving up that eye!” his father yelled._

_His mother gave his father a_ Look _. “The eye transplant to Hatake Kakashi was the last request of Uchiha Obito, Fugaku-koi. Would you dishonor the last request of an Uchiha?”_

_His father paled. “N-N-No, of course not,” he stammered. It was obvious that, despite being the Clan Head, within the house it was Uchiha Mikoto that reigned._

He debated with himself on the best way to approach this. If it was a last request, and it did appear to if it could stop his father, then the memory associated with the name would bring up really unpleasant memories. Simply demanding would therefore not work, even if it had been his inclination.

“ _We are Uchiha, and as such_ demand _respect_ _simply by existing_ _. There are those outside these walls that do not care for our_ _privileged_ _status, or even_ _outright_ _despise us for it. You, Sasuke, will have to talk to people with this mindset, you will have to negotiate, barter, and otherwise trade words with these people. You will have to bear their misguided barbs with impeccable poise and countenance, for to do otherwise is to give your opponents weapons to attack your character with. This is what I will be teaching you, since you will obviously never equal your brother when it comes to the Shinobi Arts._

“ _The first rule of the Uchiha is simple. Uchiha win. Whatever the conflict, whatever the arena, be it words or steel or chakra, Uchiha do not come second-place. Itachi will ensure that the arenas of steel and chakra will remain conquered. You will ensure that the arena of words, the combat of politics, continues to be firmly in Uchiha control. The mind to Itachi’s body. The hilt to Itachi's blade. The politician to Itachi’s warrior.”_

Every lesson after that started with the words; 'Image is _everything_ , Sasuke'.

He hadn't received more than a year or two of tutelage in politics, but one of the golden rules of politics, according to his father, was knowing when to be polite, and when not. Knowing _how_ to demand just as much as _when_ to demand, and when asking got you more results than demanding.

He was feeling pretty confident in saying that this was one of those times.

“Sensei,” he said to get his attention. When Hatake-sensei looked up from his book with an unreadable expression on his face – though calling it a 'facial expression' when his face was hidden with the exception of a single eye seemed _wrong_ somehow –, he asked, “do you still have the Sharingan that father once ranted about you having?”

Hatake-sensei remained silent, and Sasuke feared he had massively screwed up.

“I do, and it is a three-tomoe eye,” Hatake-sensei said after a few moments of silence. Sasuke breathed an internal sigh of relief.

“Then can you use it to read the amount of chakra I put into the tree-climbing exercise and tell me if or when I use too much or too little?”

The sole visible eye of Hatake-sensei curled up into an eyesmile. “Of course,” he said while reaching up to expose his covered eye.

Sasuke stared in fascination at the red sclera, the tiny black iris orbited by three black tomoe. _One day, I, too, will have that._ He shook his head to clear it of distracting thoughts and returned to the tree.

“Go ahead,” Hatake-sensei said once Sasuke had placed one foot on the bark, and Sasuke channelled chakra into his feet.

“Use about half,” Hatake-sensei commented, and Sasuke adjusted. “Slightly less. Just a bit more. That's just about right.”

Sasuke nodded, and stayed that way for a minute or two to get the feel of the level of chakra he was sending into his feet. After said minute, he nodded to himself and backed up.

His next attempt reached three-quarters of the way up, far better than the slightly less than half he was at previously. He grinned viciously.

It would put him through the obstacle course torture much earlier, but such immediate progress was a _very good feeling indeed._

_You just wait_ _, Itachi. I_ will _come to claim justice._

\------

Despite the earlier words of their sensei, they spent more than an hour at the obstacle course, though it probably would be more accurate to say that they spent an hour and a half at the course after Sasuke 'graduated' from tree-walking to the course.

Which, despite his initial twenty-five percent point progress, still took him a solid hour.

Eventually, it was time for lunch. Sasuke inhaled the scent of the bento greedily, and felt spittle form in his mouth from the aroma, and his eyes locked onto the great crimson globe that he felt confident saying were the surest sign humanity had the favour of the Gods.

His unworthy digits closed around the Divine Fruit, brought forth into existence by Ame-no-Minakanushi-no-Mikoto himself, and brought it closer to his teeth, readying to let his undeserving taste buds feel the slightly acidic divinity. To feel the crunch of the heavenly gift as his worthless jaws crushed it within his mouth.

Uchiha Sasuke bit into the tomato and experienced Nirvana.

His expression of pure bliss thoroughly unsettled both his teammates. They'd just gotten used to a less-than-broody Uchiha Sasuke, and they had never seen him eat a tomato. His mother had never allowed him to bring tomatoes to the Academy, and so his little pleasure was hidden from the knowledge of others. Until now.

Naruto looked at him with an expression that screamed 'I'm-freaked-out-but-determined-not-to-show-it'. “Teme,” he began.

“Hn?” he replied. He would have just said a questioning 'yes', but, you know, there was a tomato in his mouth.

“That expression looks _wrong_ on you,” Naruto finished, and Sakura nodded fervently. He suspected her agreement was because the look wasn't a result of anything she did, or aimed at her, rather than any personal disgust she felt.

“With this highly disturbing scene behind us,” Hatake-sensei said in an effort to change the subject, “let's focus on our activities after the lunch. Specifically, the D-ranks.”

“What about them, sensei?” Sakura asked curiously.

“Since we're going to have to train practically every moment we're together, we're going to do things in a different manner than most,” Hatake-sensei said. “In particular, we're going to blend chakra control training with the D-ranks. On that note, I am pleased that you had both the insight and knowledge to ask for use of my Sharingan to find out how much chakra you were using, broody. Keep that up and you may yet earn your name.”

“Wait,” Naruto said. “You have a Sharingan?”

Hatake-sensei nodded, his sole visible eye reflecting sorrow. “Yes. It was a gift from a friend.”

Naruto nodded and remained silent. Sasuke raised an internal eyebrow. The Academy Naruto would never have left it at that. He really _had_ improved in the two weeks between graduation and team assignment. Sakura displayed unusual wisdom by not speaking up as well.

Sasuke made a note that he really had to re-evaluate his team-mates. Neither of them reacted in any way close to what they were at the Academy. Sakura he could understand. Sort of. He'd asked his mother about Anko, and she had nothing bad to say about the woman except for one, big thing.

She was _bat-shit insane._ Whether it was an act, as the former apprentice to Orochimaru, or not didn't matter.

“ _Anko-san is quite possibly the deadliest Kunoichi in Konoha. Not the most powerful, for that honour goes to the ANBU known as Neko, but without doubt the deadliest,” his mother said._

“ _How so, kaa-san?”_

“ _She is unpredictable, flexible, and uses her body to great effect to distract the – usually male – opposition. Neko does the first two, but not the third, and it is this that gives Anko the advantage. And then there's the charitable description of her mental state as 'bat-shit insane'.”_

Perhaps Anko had, in her insanity, forced Sakura to re-evaluate herself, or put the other personality, who appeared somewhat calmer, in front? The latter explained the drastic change nicely, but he would have to see if it lasted. If it did it would be very nice, and then he ought to seek out Anko and find a way to thank her properly.

“Regardless,” Hatake-sensei said after a few uncomfortable moments of silence, “training is our name, training is our game. In that sense, _everything_ we do will contain some form of training. At the end of every day, I will ask you what you think the purpose of the D-ranks we did that day were. If you are wrong, I will say so. If you are correct, I will say so. Understood?”

“Yes, sensei,” the three genin replied as one.

Hatake-sensei gave a pleased nod.

“By the way, what jutsu do you three already know?” Hatake-sensei asked. “Taijutsu excluded. Pinky, you first.”

Sakura nodded. “I know the Academy Three, and the Magen: Narakumi no jutsu.” 

Hatake-sensei nodded. “Broody.”

“I know the Academy Three, Katon: Gōkakyū no jutsu, Katon: Hōsenka no jutsu, and Katon: Hinotama.”

Hatake-sensei nodded again. “Blondy.”

“I know the Academy Three minus the Bunshin, Kage Bunshin no jutsu, Tajū Kage Bunshin no jutsu, Bunshin Daibakuha, and the Suiton: Chō Uzu Tatsumaki. I am working on the camping jutsu and the Katon: Gōka Mekkyaku.”

Sasuke almost spit out the food in his mouth, before turning to Naruto. “How in the Nine Realms do you know the Bunshin Daibakuha and the Gōka Mekkyaku?”

Naruto coughed an obviously fake cough, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head afterward. “It has to do with my graduation. Mizuki-sensei was after the Forbidden Scroll and wanted to use me as bait. I went to the Hokage and we set a trap, but we had to use the real scroll in case Mizuki-teme had a way to detect fakes. Long story short, I learned the Kage Bunshin and copied two jutsu from the scroll, the Chō Uzu Tatsumaki and the Gōka Mekkyaku. I was taught the Bunshin Daibakuha by my mother.”

“Hn. The Bunshin Daibakuha was invented by my brother,” he said bluntly, and frowned a little in confusion as Naruto seemed to space out.

After a minute, his eye returned their focus to the group. “Turns out that mother first discussed the Bunshin Daibakuha with a five-year old Itachi shortly before the Kyūbi Attack, so that fits with independent completion of the idea.”

“How did you talk with your mother without leaving the training ground?” Sakura asked curiously.

“Mental communication seal,” Naruto answered readily. “Mom drew them for me and they work like a charm.”

Sakura nodded. “Can we get some too? Seals that allow you to talk mentally with each other...” she drifted off and covertly – or at least she thought it was covertly – looked at Sasuke.

“No,” Sasuke immediately vetoed, his mind jumping to the obvious conclusion. “No.

“Hell no.”

Naruto sniggered.

“Shut up dobe.”

“Make me, teme.”

“If you want to fight, do it on your own time,” Hatake-sensei intervened, and the two genin reluctantly settled down. “I'll run you through the general information again.

“As you likely know, missions come in five flavours, classed D, C, B, A, or S. Each is progressively more dangerous, but not necessarily more difficult. There have been A-ranked scroll deliveries outside of Konoha that earned their rank simply because of the content of the scroll. Normal scroll deliveries are C-ranks.

“As mentioned, D-ranks are essentially glorified chores, but that does not mean that they are unimportant. D-ranks are the ninja-civilian interface most of the time. D-ranks are responsible for 30% of the village's income, despite how little they pay, relatively.

“C-ranks are, for the most part, D-ranks outside the village, but with some added danger because the ninja in question does leave the safety of the village. However, C-ranks also include the possibility of combat against civilian criminals, ronin, or camps of bandits.

“B-ranks, for the most part, are C-ranks with possibility of combat against opposing ninja. Like C-ranks are to D-ranks, the consequences of failing the mission are simply larger. Assassination missions are B-rank and up, for example.

“You don't have to worry about A-ranks and S-ranks until you get years of experience under your belt, and by then you know what missions are worth which rank. Understood?”

“Yes, sensei,” the three responded dutifully. They already knew this from the Academy.

“There are two ways to get a mission. The first is to walk up to the mission desk and request a mission, as all genin teams do, and most chūnin and jōnin as well. The second is to be assigned a mission from the Hokage, which is reserved for A-rank missions and above. Written reports are only required for C-ranks and up, though I will require a written report from each of you about some of the D-ranks we do, to get you all used to writing one. Verbal reports are, once again, required only for C-ranks and up, but the same thing for the written reports goes for the verbal ones as well. Copy?”

“We copy, sensei,” the three said in unison, and Sasuke felt a bit like a soldier. That was probably the point of this, he mused. The distinction between soldier and ninja had all but vanished since the Hidden Villages were established. The only separation that still existed was whether the soldier used chakra or not, and even that got blurry when one considered the samurai of Tetsu no Kuni.

“Then let's go get us a mission,” he said.

Despite the earlier words of his sensei, Sasuke could not help himself from feeling a bit excited as they neared the mission office.

Never mind the fact that they were likely to be assigned what amounted to a glorified chore.

This was the first _real_ step on his road to killing Itachi.

After today, he would be one step closer to claiming justice for his clan.

* * *

**CODEX: A Short History of the World**

**By: Sirius, Scholar of the Dogs.**

Looking at a map of the planet's continents, it is hard to believe that they were once one. Yet, this was so. The Great Continent was a time of plenty: enough land for everyone, enough food for all, and many more demon clans than there are today.

And then, some four thousand years ago, came the Ten-Tailed Wolf, also called the One-Eyed Ten-Tailed God. The Ame no Hitotsu no Kami, the Jūbi no Ookami. The Jūbi was a demon with power unlike anything seen before or since. The Nine Daiyoukai come closest, but even they do not reach as much as halfway.

Think about that for a moment, if you will. The Kyūbi no Kitsune, the most powerful entity known to the Five Continents with the power to smash the Gates that separate the Northern Lands from the rest of us, not that it needs to, does not reach  _ half  _ of the Jūbi's power.

This is because the Daiyōkai lack the one thing that made the Jūbi so powerful.

The Jūbi was a Daihanyō. One might be forgiven for asking how this might be, given that there are only nine Daiyōkai, and a wolf is not one of them.

In the times before the Jūbi, collectively called pre-Sundering, there were far more Daiyōkai than there are now. For some reason that is lost to the mists of Time, the Jūbi went on a rampage at BS20 (20 th year Before Sundering). Likely, he had found a mate and someone decided to kill that mate out of fear what offspring from the Jūbi could become. 

What records survive from that time period indicate that 80% of all demons died and entire Clans, such as the Dragons and Phoenixes, were wiped out. It was after that that the Jūbi set his sights on what is now the Northern Continent. It was then, as is now, the home of the Humans, the only non-demonic species on this planet.

Many had looked down upon the Humans, and even saw them as food. For good reason, humans are tasty.

That changed that day. The Jūbi descended upon the Human lands with a rage not seen before or since, and was  _ stopped _ . 

Nine Demon Lords and  _ two  _ humans  _ defeated  _ the Jūbi. And before the dust had even settled, one of the two Humans split the Jūbi into nine portions and imbued these portions into the Demon Lords that aided the two Humans in their fight.  Thus were the current Nine Daiyōkai born. 

As payment for their power boost, the Nine erected the World Gates that stopped Demonkind from taking further advantage of the Humans. The only ones allowed through were the Nine, as they had erected the Gates and doors constructed from yōki always allow the person that made them through.

Pacts were made between the Daiyōkai, their clans, and the Humans to never harm Humanity except for self-defence because of this.

And so came to be the Five Continents as we know them today, named after the four cardinal directions where they lie.

Special mention should be given to the Southern and Outer Lands.  The Outer Lands, located at the very center between the other four, are shrouded in mystery. Not even the very rare demons with True Sight can see past the mists that cloud it.

T he Southern Lands have recently adopted the moniker 'Sanctuary', after the Kitsune Clan conquered it less than four hundred years ago. The Southern Lands are a safe haven to all, regardless of criminal past – or lack of such –, as long as the demon in question does not break the laws set forth by Tamamo-no-Mae, Queen of the Foxes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations: 
> 
> Inton: Yin Release  
> Reiryoku: Spiritual Power  
> Musuko: Son  
> Banbutsu Sōzō: Creation of All Things  
> Rinnegan: Samsara Eye  
> Ame-No-Minakanushi-No-Mikoto: Heavenly Ancestral God of the Originating Heart of the Universe. The first of the three gods of Creation, and one of the five Kotoamatsukami, the Distinguished Heavenly Gods.  
> Izanami-no-Mikoto: Goddess of Creation and Death, wife of Izanagi  
> Izanagi-no-Mikoto: God of Creation and Life, husband of the former  
> Otogakure no Sato: Village Hidden in the Sound  
> Magen: Narakumi no Jutsu; Demonic Illusion: Hell Viewing Technique  
> Katon: Gōkakyū no jutsu; Fire Release: Great Fireball   
> Katon: Hōsenka no jutsu; Fire Release: Phoenix Sage Flower Technique  
> Katon: Hinotama; Fire Release: Fireball  
> (Tajū) Kage Bunshin no jutsu: (Multiple) Shadow Clone Technique  
> Bunshin Daibakuha: Great Clone Explosion


	6. Chapter 6

**Child of the Fox**

They were the Shadows, Hunting in the Night, even though it was just past noon on a typical Fire Country autumn's day. Three Shadows they were, each fulfilling a specific role, though all three were at least passable in the skills of the others, and had more skills that weren't on the official record, as good ninja are supposed to. They were relatively inexperienced, but they were good. Good enough to collectively earn the nickname 'Hunters' among their peers, despite only being active for all of three weeks, proving once again that the gossip circuits have a tendency to blow some things _way_ out of proportion, though many sort-of agreed that it could make a good tentative nickname when they heard _why_ they were called such.

They held the record for the shortest-ever recorded capture of Tora, the cat belonging to Madame Shijimi, the first wife of the current Fire Lord, taking exactly twenty-two minutes from mission acceptance to receiving the cheque for a completed mission. This absolutely shattered the previous record of four hours, thirteen minutes, and twenty-eight seconds, held by the team that would go on to become the personal bodyguards of the Yondaime Hokage. It should be noted that they had several unfair advantages to accomplish such, including, but not limited to, the sharpest genin eyes, the tied-sharpest genin nose, and the sharpest genin brain.

Currently, two of them sped with great speed across the rooftops of Konoha. Focusing chakra into their legs allowed them to temporarily enhance their muscles to make leaps longer than any civilian could, or run faster than any civilian would ever be capable of. Speed or strength-dependent sporting events like races or discus throwing expressly banned the use of chakra for precisely this reason.

The pair's eyes roamed to and fro looking for the target of their hunt, their ears alert to any sound made by their furry, four-legged quarry. Naruto sniffed a few times in an attempt to pick up tora's rather peculiar scent, but it was so weak as to be useless. Practically the entire village held some measure of Tora's scent, due to the very frequent escapes from the clutches of Madame Shijimi. A soft crackle in their ears, courtesy of ear-mounted radios given to them by Kakashi-sensei before their first mission, gave the pair pause.

" _Kitsune, Kawarimono, this is Taka. Target spotted two blocks south of Ichiraku's."_

" _Copy, Taka._ _O_ _ver._ _"_

" _Understood, Taka. Kawarimono and myself are on our way. ETA approx_ _imately_ _two minutes._ _O_ _ver._ _"_

" _Copy. Taka out."_

The names they had chosen for themselves were somewhat unoriginal, in Naruto's opinion. He was Kitsune, though neither of the other two attributed it to the fact he was _literally_ half-fox, or that he was the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi, preferring to think it was in reference to his not-so-innocent grin. An ear-to-ear grin with closed eyes that, in combination with his natural whisker-shaped birthmarks, looked a lot like a grinning fox.

Sasuke was Taka, since the Uchiha clan had long held something of an affinity to hawks. Both the summon contract of the animal in question was held by the Uchiha until it was stolen a few decades before Uchiha Madara was even born as well as the actual animal itself, as it was often associated with the sun, fighting spirit, and nobility. Kakashi-sensei was Karasu. He looked like a scarecrow, but since that was his actual name, they decided to lop off the 'scare' part and use that. Kakashi-sensei made no protest. Sakura was the only one of the three that had some originality to her codename, having chosen a species of Koi often associated with the sakura trees.

Naruto and Sakura turned and set off once again, speeding towards the location designated by the third member of their team, causing Naruto some mild shock as he realized it was now officially three weeks old.

 _Three weeks,_ Naruto thought with a snort of amusement. _It feels like ages already. Teme's not as much a teme as I thought, though he's still as focused as ever on gaining power, and Sakura has actually proven useful and concentrated, rather than a fangirl as she was in the Academy, even if she does revert to her fangirling from time to time. Mom still refuses to tell me what was so special about the Haruno that the Kitsune settled in Fire Country, though._

Based on their current target, the four-legged furball of Doom called Tora, and its attraction to Sakura he guessed it to be something feline-related.

It was just a shame Tora wasn't _actually_ a half-demon cat from Nibi descent, or he could have just asked directly why Tora liked Sakura so much. He put the question out of his mind for now as Sakura and himself landed on the roof opposite the one Sasuke was perched on.

" _Taka. Kitsune and myself are on site. Where is the target? Over."_

" _It ran into the second alley on your right-hand side. Over."_

" _Copy, Taka. Over."_

They jumped a few buildings to their right and peered down into the alley. Sure enough, there was a cat with a light brown hue to his fur lounging about in the alleys. From this distance the shadows of the alley blocked their sight on the red-purple hairband on his ear, but they were pretty confident that they had found Tora.

"Sakura, do your thing," Naruto said.

"Right," Sakura said with a nod. The next moment, she had jumped from the rooftop into the alley and Naruto watched in disbelief as Tora jumped into Sakura's arms, happily purring away. Even seeing that for the eighth time, Naruto continued to be amazed. He swore the scratches the damn feline had given him when they did this for the first time itched even now, despite his regeneration factor. Sasuke still had the thin scar under his right eye from the same source.

" _Kawarimono reporting in. Target captured. Over."_

" _Confirm target, bow on left ear? Over."_

Sakura turned Tora around so that his left ear was in full display, revealing a purple bow that none of them would be caught dead with. It wasn't so much the colour, they had no problem with purple, but the fact that it was a bow.

"B _ow confirmed._ _Target_ _Tora confirmed. Over."_

" _Thank the Kotoamatsukami,"_ Sasuke said in a tone that spoke of long suffering. Naruto wouldn't put it that particular way, but he fully agreed with the sentiment. This would be their thirtieth D-rank, and Naruto felt that they were ready for a C-rank five D-ranks ago, but Kakashi-sensei had not taken them on a C-rank yet, preferring to go over the various protocols for the missions instead. He understood why the man did so, but that didn't make it less frustrating.

" _Karasu, target captured. Over."_

" _Copy, Kitsune,"_ their sensei drawled over the radio. " _Rendezvous at 02-22. Out."_

" _Copy. Out,"_ Sakura and Sasuke repeated the message. A soft thud close by indicated that Sasuke had jumped from the rooftop to join the two.

"Let's return the damn cat," Sasuke said, glaring at the cat who was happily purring in Sakura's embrace. In silence, the three travelled to 02-22, known to any other ninja as the Hokage Tower.

– – – –

Danzō ran his thumb absent-mindedly over the top of his cane, the digit slowly tracing the well-worn path in the aged wood, now nearly four decades old. It was one of the few tells he allowed himself to have these days. Those unfamiliar with him would dismiss it as the idle movement of an aged man, while those who did know him knew it spoke of him being displeased. The slower, the more displeased he was.

The digit in question was currently racing, relatively speaking, across the bulb that adorned the top of his cane. The past few weeks had been very promising for a few high-risk operations, and he thanked the Kami once again that the near-fatal catastrophe of four years ago – also referred to as 'which Uchiha decided it would be a good idea to hypnotize villagers into attacking the village's Jinchuuriki?' – returned the spine that his old friend-turned-nemesis had lost following the Third War several decades ago, not that the lost spine was unanticipated. Hiruzen had always been one to promote peace over war, but the appalling death toll of the Third War – at least sixty-two percent of the entire Shinobi population according to the most accurate intelligence – had pushed him so firmly into the 'peace' camp that he had no option but to look even deeper into the Abyss, praying that it did not look back. And then... the Kyūbi attacked twelve years ago, and the little spine Hiruzen had was drained. Again, this was not unanticipated, but _far_ from welcome.

Hiruzen had already retired, and came out of retirement to run the village once again. It wouldn't entirely surprise him if Hiruzen had never properly mourned for the loss of his wife, Sarutobi Biwako, who was lost during the attack. It had taken Hiruzen's surrogate grandson nearly dying, and he would have died had it not been for the Kyūbi, to harden Hiruzen once more. It wasn't up to his standards post Second War, but it would suffice. Under the new policies, Konoha was once again a S _hinobi_ village, rather than a village that happened to have a high amount of Shinobi living in it.

He briefly looked at the young ROOT agent kneeling before him. Contrary to popular belief amongst the people who knew of its existence, not every ROOT member was emotionally compromised. ROOT had been brought into existence to perform those tasks that could not be associated with Konoha in any way, shape, or form. Which included infiltration, in addition to sabotage and assassination.

Being an emotional null was a benefit only to the sabotage and assassination branches of ROOT, where combat and death were the point. Where combat was to be avoided, or to be postponed until the most opportune time, such as deep-cover infiltrations, emotions were, like kunai and cleavage, just another tool to be wielded. He firmly suspected that Hiruzen had forgotten over the decades that he was a true Shinobi, and knew a good tool when he saw it. He also knew what would happen if tools went out of control, and it had been for this exact reason he had always suggested emotional training for the young Jinchūriki. If a Jinchūriki lost control of his emotions, the beast inside would be able to take control and run rampant. As long as they kept tight control over their emotions, they would be fine. Contrary to what people might have thought, a complete absence of emotions was almost as bad for a Jinchūriki as losing control of them, as the Bijū was usually capable of engendering emotion in the host regardless of the seal, anger or rage of some kind was popular, which the host wouldn't know how to deal with. He knew, better than almost anybody, that emotionally dead Jinchūriki were unstable Jinchūriki and would blow up within a decade as the Bijū figured out the limits of their seal and the kinds of emotions they could send along when the Jinchūriki inevitably drew upon their chakra. They did not have a replacement Uzumaki available to house the Kyūbi, so that would be... ill-advised. At least before Uzumaki-san reproduced, after which he would be mostly immune to his brand of emotional deadening _anyway_. Not that it mattered that much, if the brat's mother was any indication.

He returned his attention to the report made on the single most important operation ROOT was currently performing. Operation Solar Flare, also known as 'keep the Jinchūriki loyal to Konoha' had apparently stabilized tremendously in the fortnight between the Forbidden Scroll incident and team assignments – even more so than the time period after Yūhi-san made him her ward –, and it unnerved him a little. Where was the Jinchūriki diring this fortnight? He had been seen twice, once to get his ninja registration picture done and once to visit Umino-san in the hospital, but where had he been the remaining time? Was the apparent loyalty only a ruse, initiated by a malcontent citizen that got their hands on the Jinchūriki and essentially abducted him from under the watchful gazes of both the normal ANBU and ROOT? Or was there, as the Jinchūriki himself implied, nothing more going on than finding a person he called 'mom' and wanting to spend some time alone with them?

The easiest way to ascertain this would be to get an agent inside Team Seven, but Haruno-san was not suited for such a life. Maybe if he had gotten to her a few years earlier, but not in the short while before the teams were assembled. The Jinchūriki's other teammate was a no-go as well. The psych reports on Uchiha-san were rather unnerving, and he did not grant such a descriptor lightly. Despite Mikoto-san bringing in Yamanaka Inoichi to heal the mental damage done by Uchiha Itachi, young Sasuke was a deserter waiting for a good reason to desert. He could do little about the situation, since Uchiha-san had not yet actually done something wrong, and had several agents posted around the young Uchiha around the clock.

Had this been pre-Great Purge he would have been in trouble for this action, for ROOT had never been a very populous organization, but the Great Purge was just the prelude to a harder Hiruzen making his reappearance on the internal and international scene, freeing up dozens of ROOT assets in the process. Due to his newly released assets, he had an agent in place to obtain some of the most unsettling information that Danzō had received lately.

Orochimaru had founded a village, and was attracting missing-nin by the hundreds.

He had, not even that long ago, considered working with Orochimaru to get rid of Hiruzen despite the traitor's vow to destroy Konoha, because a destroyed Konoha would be better than a Konoha under continued guidance by the pre-Purge Hiruzen, but he had eventually declined working together. It wasn't out of a sense of disgust at working with a traitor, but because Hiruzen had found the spine he'd had in the Second War again. It had been this very same Hiruzen that had forced a little introspection through private conversation, and he had arrived at a conclusion that was a very, _very_ bitter pill to swallow.

He was one of the worst candidates for the Hokage position, and it was all due to his age. Konoha needed stability. A short-lived Kage like him – Danzō was fairly certain he would be dead somewhere in the next five years – would be disastrous after Hiruzen ruled for longer than most people had been alive. The Godaime would have to rule _at least_ ten years before the Rokudaime took over, and _everyone_ important wanted Uzumaki in either of those positions for a variety of reasons, regardless of what they said in public to appease the people underneath them.

Another point against his own ascension to Godaime was that too many of the ninja whose support was crucial to attaining the position believed that he trained nothing but emotionless tools, and they had been indoctrinated too heavily to support him. Not even the Daimyō could install him as Hokage if he did not have the support of at least the jōnin, and he had the three most influential ones, Hatake, Maito, and Sarutobi, firmly standing against him. Konoha would suffer too much fighting power if they were removed from their positions, so he had his hands metaphorically tied even if he had still wanted the position.

But his operatives were a different matter. They had a lot more freedom to do what was necessary, and more importantly, no-one knew who they were. They hadn't been found out by the Great Purge of four years ago, and he was going to make the very most of that.

It was going to be tricky, but he was Shimura Danzō, student of Senju Tobirama, survivor of three Shinobi Wars, and the man known as Shinobi no Yami. If there was anything he was _good_ at, it was playing things from the shadows. He raised his eyes, looking the agent that was still kneeling silently in front of his desk right in the eyes.

"Agent 316, I have a mission for you..."

– – – –

"Hokage-sama," Sasuke said after they had returned Tora to Madame Shijimi, much to the dismay of the feline in question. "Genin Team Seven requests a C-rank mission."

"Do they now?" the Hokage asked, glancing at the other two. Sakura and Naruto nodded when his gaze fell upon them, and he turned to Kakashi. "And you, Kakashi-kun?"

"I think they're ready."

The comment was essentially purely for procedure at this point, but nonetheless wo grins, and one supremely satisfied smug expression, broke out on the faces of the genin. When they discussed how to best handle requesting a C-rank, they had agreed that it would be best to have Sasuke ask, as he was still somewhat prone to slip into 'disrespectful addresses' – Sakura's words, not his –, and Sakura was too nervous to ask things of their Hokage. They had also agreed that the clincher would be Kakashi's approval, as they were only ninety percent certain that he would approve the request.

"Well then, let us see what C-rank missions are available," the Hokage said as he grabbed the folder marked 'C', and Naruto barely managed to stop himself jumping up and shouting 'yatta' like he used to before Kurenai-nee took him in. She had not curbed his enthusiasm, but she had tried to curb his exuberant displays of such, and for the most part she succeeded.

"There's scroll delivery, border patrol, and escorting a mercantile caravan to Suna."

"What do you think, my kawaii genin?"

"Are any of them expected to see combat against mercenaries?" Naruto asked, earning him a raised eyebrow from the Hokage, Sakura, and Sasuke, while Kakashi just frowned. "Because if so, I'd like to _not_ pick that one. Get my first mission out of the village done as peacefully as possible, ya know?"

Four nods. "That sounds... wiser than I'd have expected of you even a month ago, Naruto-kun. I remember you being a rather reckless hothead," he added with a teasing smile.

Naruto stuck out his tongue, earning a soft chuckle from the oldest of the five currently in the office. "Very mature, Naruto-kun," he said as he tossed a scroll to Kakashi. "Scroll delivery, the mission office has the actual scroll that needs to be delivered."

"Is the mission time-sensitive, Hokage-sama?" Sasuke asked.

"Not particularly. If I remember correctly the delivery needs to be made in Tanzaku Gai at the latest two weeks from now. Even to a slow ninja, that is at most three days away."

The quartet that was Team Seven nodded.

"The mission office will have further details. It is scheduled to last approximately a week."

Kakashi-sensei nodded. "Come on then, my kawaii genin. We depart from the West Gate in two hours. Until next week, Hokage-sama."

"See ya, jiji!"

"A good day, Hokage-sama."

– – – – _Two hours later, West Gate of Konoha – – – –_

The gates of Konoha were impressive monolithic structures made entirely from wood. Like the forests surrounding Konoha, this wood was not entirely natural in origin, as it was created by the Shodai Hokage through the use of his **Mokuton** and reinforced with seals by his wife to withstand extreme punishment, well beyond what even the Nanabi was capable of delivering. Naruto frowned as a memory rushed forward upon seeing them in all their splendour.

" _Remember, musuko-kun,' his mother said after a short lecture on the nature of elemental chakra, 'sub-elements_ can _be accessed without Kekkei Genkai, but the concentration required to do so puts practically all jutsu beyond the very basics out of reach of anyone who hasn't put ridiculous amounts of time into practicing the elemental combination. Once this combination is instinctive, the sub-element can be used like a normal element and the more difficult jutsu can be trained. Elemental combination to form sub-elements is rather rare, though. Before my rampage, Konoha had three users of the Shakuton, two of the Shōton, four of the Futton, and six of the Yōton."_

_Naruto tilted his head. "What's the point of elemental Kekkei Genkai then?"_

" _Kekkei Genkai lock out all other affinities in exchange for strengthening the elements associated with the Kekkei Genkai, and attune the body itself to the sub-element, allowing things that bypass normal human restrictions. The result is more like magic than anything else. To give you a few examples, the Yuki clan, native to Mizu no Kuni, can create mirrors from their ice that allows the Yuki member to travel between them, though I don't know the mechanics behind that. The, again Mizu native, Terumi clan can blend with lava and use the magma underneath the earth's crust as transportation. This is only possible because in their lava forms they don't need to eat. And these are but two of the examples of the miracles that elemental Kekkei Genkai wielders can do. Naturally, body-type Kekkei Genkai like the Shikotsumyaku or eye-type Kekkei Genkai do not adhere to such rules."_

It had not come up then as he had been too distracted by the thought of finding out his own chakra nature, but he had looked through the books since then and come to a stunning conclusion. _All_ sub-elements had non-Kekkei Genkai wielders of that element, with one exception.

Wood.

Seeing the gates of Konoha had triggered a memory of that discussion, and reinforced the question Naruto now had on his mind. Surely, wood would have been a high-priority target to imitate once people saw what Mokuton could do, right? He could understand that the Shodai was tight-lipped about Mokuton, as information was a ninja's lifeblood and the knowledge of how to imitate Mokuton _would_ eventually have leaked out to Konoha's enemies, making the development of counters to Mokuton possible. After the Shodai died, however, people had tried to re-create the Mokuton using the little information the Shodai had shared. Earth and Water.

Naruto could see how Earth and Water came together to make wood, but he did not understand why no one had succeeded in imitating wood, despite what had to have been extensive experimentation.

Logically, there had to be something that people were missing. Chakra ratios, a third element the Shodai hadn't shared... _something._ Naruto refused to believe that Mokuton was the only sub-element actually locked to a bloodline, especially given the records showing a lack of the element in the Shodai's children and grandchildren.

So...what made Mokuton so special?

"You there, blondy?" Kakashi-sensei asked. Naruto blinked a few times before nodding.

"Yes, sensei," he dutifully replied. "I was just thinking about something and must have lost track of my surroundings."

Kakashi-sensei nodded. "See to it that you don't get distracted by that out in the field. We don't expect bandits, mercenaries, or enemy nin on this mission, but that doesn't mean the possibility of stumbling across them is zero," sensei said sternly. Naruto gulped a little and nodded.

"Good. Now, we were busy with checking packs," Kakashi-sensei supplied.

"Fifty kunai, fifty shuriken, two sealing scrolls filled with food, three filled with water, one scroll with field medic supplies, twenty metres of wire, and other assorted trap-laying equipment," Naruto rattled off, taking the items out of the bag as he mentioned them.

"Good enough for a C-rank," Kakashi-sensei said after a moment. "I personally prefer four kunai for each shuriken, but that's not for everyone. You can pack it back up." Naruto nodded and did just that.

"We leave as soon as blondy is done packing his bag."

– – – –

Naruto yawned as he walked up the stairs to his hotel room in the only hotel in Tanzaku Gai that catered to ninja, which meant it had thicker, sturdier walls, soundproofing everywhere, and places close to the bed where they could store blades and other items they would need if they were abruptly woken.

The trip to Tanzaku Gai had been calm, just as he wanted for his first time out of Konoha. They had assumed a triangle formation around Kakashi-sensei – the VIP as he carried the scroll – and taken to the trees. They had rushed towards the village so that they could get a few days relaxation in while the festival was here in Tanzaku Gai. Apparently, Jiji had given implicit permission for that by saying that he would see them next week.

Naruto didn't get it, but didn't very much care as a few days relaxation sounded very good indeed after the grueling three weeks that they had so far. And in his case, that was just team training. His mother had been training him in the art of sealing and general chakra manipulation – he had a quadruple affinity, though his **Raiton** affinity was so weak it might as well not have existed –, and the spirit of his sword had been training him in the art of the blade. She had said that he would be instructed in the second part of her existence, the art of ice manipulation, after he had learned her name. It was somehow different from **Hyōton** according to the spirit, but when he asked how she wouldn't elaborate, stating that it was some he would learn after it was unlocked.

His mother had set an hour per day aside for just mother-son bonding, but the rest of his waking moments he spent training in one thing or another. It boiled down to the fact that if he hadn't had his Yōki-fueled regeneration, he would be a permanent cripple from overexertion of his muscles.

"Remember, Naruto," Kakashi's voice drifted to his ears as he was already halfway into his room. "We make the drop tomorrow morning at 0800."

"Acknowledged, sensei," he replied, letting out another yawn as he shambled into the room. He set the alarm to something that looked like 0700 and fell face-down on the bed, still fully dressed. He may have been a stamina freak, but running for ten hours with only minimal breaks along the way had taken its toll on him, though Sakura and Sasuke were obviously much worse off. He was asleep in moments.

– – – –

"Hey boss, you'll never guess what I spied stumbling into town tonight."

The aforementioned boss, a hulking giant of a man, looked up from the file he was reading towards the man that had just entered his office. "Well, spit it out."

" _Sharingan no Kakashi,_ and three brats that I think are his genin."

The giant raised an eyebrow. "Kakashi?"

"Yes," the other said with a grin. "And his brats are a civilian girl that I think will fetch quite the sum to the proper people, the last available Uchiha, and a blond."

The giant's eyes narrowed. "Blond?"

"Yup," the other confirmed, his grin widening and gaining some bloodlust. "It's not pale enough to be Yamanaka blond either."

The giant grinned viciously. "Well then, send out Ayumu and Daisuke to get some intelligence. I want to know what they'll be doing while they're here and how long they'll be staying. Stress the importance that they do not harm either Sharingan no Kakashi or the brats. We'll capture them and make it a group effort. No need to be selfish in revenge, no?"

"Indeed boss," the other said with a nod. "And thanks."

"You're welcome. Now get out of my sight."

The other nodded and left the room.

The giant leaned back in his chair and rubbed his hands together in gleeful anticipation. Fifteen years of waiting was about to come to an end, one way or another.

After fifteen years of dreaming up plots, vengeance would be his.

– – – – _**Codex: On demonic humanoid forms**_

_**Written by: Bastet, Acting Queen of the Neko-ichizoku** _

_**Second draft for: Neko-ichizoku First Grade Educational Text, 'Illusions and You: A Primer on the Art of Disguise'.** _

**'Why do we assume human forms?' and 'why do these forms have both our ears and our tails, rather than looking fully human to blend in?' are two questions, paraphrased of course, that young demons often ask when they are taught how to assume a basic humanoid shape, and these questions are very valid.**

**Similar to many things demons do that don't make sense at first sight, the answer lies rooted in history. Before the Sundering of the land, demonkind warred among itself with abandon. Treaties were attempted, but the delegations were ambushed time and time again.** **T** **he Inu first reached the idea of holding treaty meetings in neutral ground.** _**Human** _ **ground** **to be specific** **, for hunting humans was a pastime of all demon clans – with very few exceptions, like the Kitsune and the now-extinct Hō** **ō** **– and none wanted their hunting grounds tainted.**

**Demons do not exactly blend in with human society, however, so the Inu had the grand idea of taking on a human shape. The clan they were meeting at the time, my clan, joined them and the first successful treaty negotiations in demon history occurred on human soil.**

**Some problems arose swiftly, however, when the third such meeting, between the Ōkami and the Tora, was interrupted in a highly ironic manner by a hunting party of Inu and killed to the last. In death, the Yōki holding the illusion of their human forms together dispersed and the Inu clan amended the protocol they had brought into life. By adding their tails, they hoped to pass their non-humanity off as roleplay – a favoured human pastime even then – and signal to hunting sorties that they were not, in fact, human.**

**It lasted all of two attempts before an Ōkami exile dyed and trimmed his tails to look like a member of the Inu, and proceeded to wipe out the delegations.**

**The ears, distinctive to each individual species at an extremely base level, were adde** **d to the human(oid) disguise following this incident** **. This, too, was passed off as roleplay** **to curious humans.**

**When five thousand years had passed without further incident, the seven hundred and thirty-eight Daiyōkai of the time gathered and beseeched their patron deities to enforce this. The patron deities acquiesced and changed the genetic code of all currently living demons to make the transformation into a human form without tails and ears biologically impossible.**

**There are rumours that the Kitsune have managed to bypass this rule, but none are sure how. Numerous theories are abound, naturally, but the Kitsune themselves remain silent on the matter.**

**To this day, though the human lands are inaccessible to us, the practice of assuming human forms continues** **because despite the Jūbi's rampage at the Sundering, many demons from that time yet live,** **and they have been unwilling to change their ways.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Ichizoku: Clan
> 
> Hōō: Phoenix
> 
> – – – –
> 
> A/N: As in canon, Danzō wants what is best for Konoha. Unlike canon, my Danzō has seen (through application of not a little bit of off-screen force) that he isn't what Konoha needs in the post-Sandaime era that everyone knows is coming, even if they don't want to accept that.
> 
> Until recently, he was not in a position to do anything about it. Agent 316 is a relatively recent acquisition and, as 316 is in infiltration/intelligence branch of ROOT, has normal access to emotions. Enter, puppetmaster!Danzō. At least, that's the intent.
> 
> Naruto goes on a C-rank, and as this is Naruto and the Universe is constantly plotting against him, it hits a snag. Resolution of this snag will occur in the next two, maybe three chapters as it is currently planned.
> 
> I mentioned in an earlier author's note that I have since removed, I said that the chapter featured a competent!Kakashi. This implied a belief that canon Kakashi was incompetent and I now retract that statement after thinking on it a bit more.
> 
> I now believe that canon Kakashi, with no obvious war on the horizon, decided that teaching his genin ninja techniques could wait and that he would focus first on their character. Creating bonds and shaping why they fight before teaching them how to fight, due to his own past and the mission at Kannabi Bridge. When his genin were not receptive to his teaching, he decided to give them a slice of actual ninja life. Enter, Wave. In the time between Wave and the Chūnin Exams, team 7 reverted to their usual dysfunctional self and Kakashi decided that the upcoming exams were a good opportunity to wake the genin up to the reality of ninja life. Since they were in Konoha, they were unlikely to die during them, accomplishing the objective with minimal risk.
> 
> Enter, Orochimaru. Enter, curse seal of heaven. Exit, Kakashi's plan.


	7. Feces, Meet Ventilation Unit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for tardiness. This chapter was scheduled to be uploaded on the 16th, but general stupidity and workload saw to it that it wasn't.
> 
> In the meantime, enjoy Chapter Seven, in which shit hits the fan.

After a night's rest, completing the mission was as easy as walking up to the addressee's office, waiting half an hour for them to arrive, getting a signature that indicated that the scroll was deliver, sending this signature by raven to Konoha, and walking away. There wasn't a formal procedure for handing in scrolls unless the recipient was a daimyō or someone similar, and there were specially-trained couriers for deliveries to daimyō.

So, at slightly past 0845, Kakashi-sensei had sent them out to enjoy themselves in the hustle and bustle of the Solar Festival, which was already in full swing at this early hour. Within ten minutes, Naruto had decided one thing.

The Solar Festival was _awesome_.

They had stalls everywhere with games that Naruto had never seen, with more colours than Naruto could name and more joy in the air than he'd ever thought possible. People were smiling, laughing, walking hand-in-hand with either their beloved or their children, eating strange whispy balloons of some stringy pink substance, smelling heavily of sugar, that they ate with obvious relish on their faces, and so much more that Naruto simply didn't have words for. So focused was he on drinking in everything that Tanzaku Gai had to offer, he failed to notice an old man in a brown robe until he had crashed into him, knocking both to the ground.

"Sorry!" Naruto said quickly.

"It is of no import," the man said as he got up without too much trouble. "You were focusing on the sights, I take it?"

"Yeah, and they're awesome!" Naruto replied enthusiastically. "I never really got to take part in the festivals Konoha hosts, so all these colours and the games and the new things and the sheer _joy_ in the air is completely new to me!"

"Konoha?" the man asked. "Then you are a ninja?"

Naruto pointed to his headband with his thumb, a wide smile adorning his face. "Yep!" he said. "Uzumaki Naruto, genin of Konoha!"

"A pleasure to meet you," the man said with a shallow bow. "I seem to have forgotten common courtesy and failed to introduce myself. I am Taryo, resident of Tanzaku Gai."

Naruto returned the bow. Kaa-chan had drilled him on etiquette even harder than Kurenai-nee had, though he hadn't really taken to applying the lectures to jiji. But jiji was practically his grandfather so that was alright, according to the old man. This old man was not jiji, however. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Taryo-san."

"The sentiment is returned once again, Uzumaki-san" Taryo said with a congenial smile. "What say you to this old-timer showing you around? Perhaps we can trade stories as we walk, the life of a ninja must be terribly exciting."

"You bet!" Naruto said with renewed exuberance as they started to walk through the fair. "Admittedly, I haven't been a genin for that long and this is my first trip out of the village, but let me tell you about the one time my teammate, Sasuke-teme, had an accident with a bowl of ramen, Tora the cat, and a bunch of salmon..."

– – – –

Hatake Kakashi, the last scion of the Hatake line unless and/or until he became a father, was rather looking forward to a few days without his brats. There were a few things in Tanzaku Gai that weren't available anywhere else while staying within Fire Country, and since travelling outside Fire Country was ill-advised to someone of his reputation without the proper preparations, he was going to milk Tanzaku Gai for everything he could get his hands on.

The list contained ten things, but only two were important at the moment. The first was Amazake, the special type of sake brewed almost exclusively in Tanzaku Gai. The only other place where it was available was, appropriately enough, the capital of the Land of Rice. It was by far the best sake in the eyes of the vast majority of the sake-drinking people, and as such it was highly desirable. Unfortunately for the sake-drinking world, only ten thousand bottles were brewed every year – compared to the literal millions of other types of sake – so prices were absurd.

It just so happened that their mission to Tanzaku Gai coincided with the very limited open sale of Amazake from the store, and Kakashi was fully intending to buy several bottles. The fact that the proprietor of the store that sold the Amazake was a contact of Jiraiya-sama and that aforementioned Jiraiya-sama had clued him into the signals for this particular contact with the added message that this informant had some information that Kakashi needed to know pertaining to one of his brats was just a coincidence.

Kakashi's attention was drawn from his near-omnipresent orange book by the tinkle of a shop's bell, the type that sounded when the door opened and closed. The proprietor, a middle-aged man that was only just beginning to have noticeable wrinkles on his face, looked at him and smiled. "Welcome to Tanzaku Sakaya, ninja-san," he said brightly. "If you're here for the Amazake, like most everyone else the past hour or so, you're in luck."

"Thank Kami-sama," Kakashi said, faking a relieved tone. "The missus would have gone berserk if I came back empty-handed."

The proprietor grinned wryly. "I am well aware of the wrath of one's better half," he said. "Just your good fortune that all the Tanzaku Gai drinkers that can afford it have their fill of Amazake already and the foreigners haven't come by yet. How many bottles would you like?"

"Five, if there are that many left."

"Your luck continues to hold, ninja-san," the proprietor said. "Five bottles are all that remain. Shall I wrap them for the missus? Maybe point you to a store where you can buy pointy presents to stave off her wrath if five isn't enough?"

"The sentiment is appreciated," Kakashi said. "But the missus is a civvie, so flowers or something similar would be more appreciated than a high-quality set of pointy tools of death."

"A civilian?" the proprietor asked as he started to wrap up the bottles in the special wrapping paper used by this shop. "Don't see too many of those married to ninja because of the threat of missing-nin. Someone of Hoshigaki Kisame's calibre can wreck some serious havoc and dispatch most any ninja sent after him."

"That he can, but the missus isn't particularly worried. Konoha has some fine shinobi, you know?"

"True," the proprietor said. "But even so, most civilians I know are not willing to take that risk. Your missus must be really something special to risk that kind of potential pain or distress."

Kakashi's visible eye narrowed. "Some _one_ , if you will," Kakashi said sharply. The proprietor raised his hands apologetically, his left thumb raised a little higher than his right. Kakashi settled down, mollified. "She's... She's..."

"Like a cloud against the night sky that's coloured red as the sun rises?" the proprietor offered, using a rare figure of speech that described something no one had ever actually seen, despite the numerous mentions of it in literature.

Kakashi considered this for a moment. "As apt a description as anything that's one-of-a-kind, I suppose, though the comparison is rather... _unique,_ referring to murder when we were talking about my missus."

"Comes with the job," the proprietor said with a shrug. "Breathing in sake fumes all day isn't that good for one's mental health, you know?"

"No I don't," Kakashi said with a headshake. "But I can imagine. How much do I owe you?"

"Two hundred for each."

"So a million in all?" Kakashi asked. The proprietor nodded. "I suppose it's better to be without drinking money for the next year than be without sex for the same," Kakashi mused as he counted out the money.

The proprietor laughed. "That it is, ninja-san. That it is. Thank you for your patronage," he said when Kakashi had handed over the million ryō. "I hope to see you again at Tanzaku Sakaya!"

"Sure thing," Kakashi said, sealing the Amazake in a sealing scroll. He'd give it to Pakkun for safekeeping later. He left the shop, his mind processing the conversation he'd just had and this informant's favoured way of double-talking – the kanji as it was used a few hundred years ago, rather than the current-day ones –, correlating what he'd just learned to three-month old intelligence reports from their spies in Iwa.

'Pain or distress' were both written with the same character back then, the enunciation of which had been _kyū. Kyū_ also happened to be both identical and very close to the two popular ways to say the number _nine_ , though the actual character used for the number was different back then _._

The blood-red cloud against the night sky in the dawn was the old version of what was called a 'red dawn' by most everyone these days. 'Red dawn' was represented by '暁', read as 'akatsuki'.

Which also meant 'daybreak', which was the name of that organization of missing-nin they'd recently received word from their spies in Iwa of. Two and two made four.

An organization of missing-nin was after the Kyūbi inside Naruto.

At the corner of the street, some fifty metres away from the shop, he slumped. "Well, shit."

– – – –

Haruno Sakura was in heaven.

She may have been a ninja's daughter, she may have recently been properly training as a ninja, and becoming much more ninja-like in her view of the world – the store she was currently in had no less than twenty-eight objects, forty-one counting duplicates separately, within immediate grasping distance she could use as a makeshift kunai or garrotte, for example –, but she had been raised a civilian, and she expected that at least a small part of her would always be a civilian.

So when she noticed that the annual Tanzaku Gai festival was currently running, she thanked her lucky stars that she'd thought to bring a lot of money and storage scrolls for new clothing.

She grabbed a dress that looked absolutely gorgeous and started to put it in her basket to try on later when an indignant "Hey!" interrupted her train of thought. She looked over to the speaker and found a pretty brown-haired girl with a sharp face and brown eyes also currently clutching the dress. "Get your own, I saw this one first."

Sakura glared at the girl, metaphorical sparks lancing between their eyes, building up ambient pressure. "Oh yeah?" she asked challengingly, giving the wine-red dress another tug.

"Yeah," the girl replied heatedly, before a glint appeared in her eyes. "How about a challenge?"

"What kind?" Sakura said, still not letting go of the dress.

"The fashion kind, of course!" the girl half-yelled. "We meet outside the shop in three hours, and whoever has purchased the most dresses wins!"

"You're on!" Sakura yelled, and tugged the garment out of the other's girls grasp before she ran off deeper into the store, ignored the indignant squawk behind her as she grabbed anything that looked remotely like a good-looking dress.

Three hours later, Sakura emerged from the store to the sight of the girl with three bags of clothing standing close to her. Sakura had four.

The girl burst into tears at her loss, and she jumped at Sakura, bawling her eyes out. "What is your secret!" she half-yelled, half-sobbed. "Please, tell me! How did you become so good at fashion hunting?"

"Skills," Sakura said simply, not wishing to divulge further. The girl sobered up quickly and pulled at Sakura's arm, barely managing to grab her three bags with one arm. Sakura allowed herself to be dragged off only after she'd stored all the bags in a sealing scroll. Using sealing scrolls was so basic that every ninja of any calibre knew how to do it.

The girl gasped at the sight of the bags disappearing. "You're a ninja, aren't you?"

"So what if I am?" Sakura asked. "What's it to you?"

"That explains how you're so good at fashion hunting!" the girl said, pointing her finger accusatory. "You used your ninja magic, didn't you?"

"Chakra," Sakura corrected absently. "And no, I didn't use even a tiny bit of chakra for that challenge."

"I'll be the judge of that," the girl said. "Let's go to another store."

Sakura hummed. If she didn't go, this girl would probably keep hounding her, and if she did she'd fulfil her personal objective of lots of new off-the-job clothing. "Sure," she said after a minute's thought. "Let's go to another store."

"This time it will be I, Ayumu, that will emerge victorious!" the girl said with a dramatic pose, illusionary fire lighting up in her eyes, and stormed off.

Sakura followed her with narrowed eyes. Something about this girl was very, very wrong, but she couldn't put her finger on what exactly.

She resolved to keep an eye on this girl.

– – – –

Uchiha Sasuke walked through Tanzaku Gai with his hands in his pockets, his brows furrowed in a nasty scowl, and a steady gait. He didn't stop to talk to one of the partygoers, and they did not try to speak with him.

This was nothing special or noteworthy as far as Uchiha Sasuke was concerned. Right now, he was channelling his inner brooder and did not want to be disturbed.

Three weeks. It had been three weeks since the formation of Team Seven, and Uchiha Sasuke was honestly confused at everything to do with those two words. The dobe made no sense, and the harpy even less.

He remembered the dobe as a cheerful idiot, shouting about wanting to become Hokage all the time, wearing an eye-searing orange that had become slightly less eye-searing after his eighth, and generally being considered the Prankster King from Hell. He didn't show it, but Sasuke was secretly very amused at the blond's antics before he graduated. Since becoming a ninja, however, there had been none of that.

Oh, the blond was still cheerful, but he was no longer as much of an idiot, didn't wear orange – even though it had subtly been reappearing in his outfit as of a week ago –, hadn't shouted even once about his wish to become Hokage, and he hadn't pulled even a single prank. Instead, there had been repeated mentions to a mother that Sasuke _knew_ was dead – the only recorded Uzumaki outside of Naruto was one Uzumaki Kushina, KIA during the Kyūbi attack.

He had considered whether it was simply mislaballed – there was only one letter different between KIA and MIA after all – , but while there was the possibility of them being related, the few accounts of Uzumaki Kushina he could find described her as a prankster, so even if the records lied he doubted that Naruto's pranking would cease if his mother had been reintroduced into his life. Yet, he hadn't pulled even a single prank in the weeks since Team Seven was formed. At least, as far as he knew.

That left the possibility of him being too busy training to prank, which was half-way absurd. During the Academy, Naruto had been one of his premier rivals, and like every good ninja Sasuke had gone to spy – 'gather information' – on his rival to get a leg up. Naruto's training regimen during his Academy years was _insane_. He rose at seven, trained until eight-thirty – sometimes under the supervision of one 'Kurenai-nee' or 'Anko-nee' –, ate, went to the Academy, then went _back_ to the training grounds and trained from five to seven-thirty before he went to the apartment of this Kurenai – Yūhi, recently promoted to jōnin –, ate, and lounged about inside before he went to bed.

All except the last two points of that list under the not-so-secret supervision of one Hyūga Hinata, though he'd be willing to bet that the dobe was utterly oblivious to it. The dobe had brains, this he had shown during his pranks, but social intelligence was not the blond's – now half-blond – forte.

He bit into one of his recently-purchased tomatoes and sighed a little at the gift of divinity, savouring the slightly acidic fruit caress his taste buds. His mind re-organized itself as the crimson gift of the gods went to work filling his stomach, and focused on his pink-haired teammate, which had left him even more confused than his half-blond one.

Her first day on the team was approximately what he suspected her conduct would be, though there had been flashes of that strange serenity that she sometimes exhibited in the Academy. Ever since then, though, she had been calm, collected, and used her brains to her advantage, even when he was around. She could think circles around all of them when she was so inclined, Hatake-sensei excepted, and the only reason he won spars with her these days was because he'd been training since he was five and thus had more experience. Even if he was destined for politics before the Massacre, all combat-capable Uchiha were expected to reach at least chūnin level skill and Sasuke was no exception to this rule. Even less after the sole loyal chakra-using Uchiha left was himself.

He'd asked his mother about it, thanking whatever gods were out there that Itachi had at least spared her even if he hadn't spared her chakra, but she was as puzzled by it as he was. People didn't flip personalities that drastically that fast, unless the change was hypnosis-assisted, and even then it was doubtful.

He'd resolved to keep an eye on her. Surreptitiously, of course. No need to give her incentive to drop back to her fangirl habits.

Wait, what was that?

His suddenly narrowed eyes flickered over to a rooftop on the other side of the street. Nothing. He could have sworn that someone was there, though.

Ten minutes later, he'd had three repeats of this. The third time, he caught a hand as it disappeared from view in mid-air. He swore mentally, using words that would have earned him a good mouth-washing from his mother had she been there to hear them.

He planned his route to take him back to the hotel without attracting undue suspicion from his watcher, or watchers. He needed to tell the others.

– – – –

"... and then, Tora scratched the living daylights out of Sasuke-teme's face!" Naruto finished his long story, imitating a scratch with his hand.

"That was quite the tale, Uzumaki-san," Taryo said. "If that's just a routine mission, the life of a ninja must be terribly exciting."

Naruto shrugged. "Kakashi-sensei stresses that there are no routine missions, full stop," Naruto said. "But as far as a mission can be routine, that was it."

"Your sensei is a wise man," Taryo said. "Is this Sasuke-san always so hot-tempered?"

"Nah," Naruto said. "But, like everyone, he has his triggers, ya know?"

"Indeed," Taryo said. "I once got a one-up on a business rival by insinuating his wife had cheated on him. They were a very traditional couple, so an accusation of marital infidelity was akin to implying his romantic and sexual prowess was sufficiently bad to cause his wife to forget her iron grasp on tradition and turn from him. Needless to say, he didn't take it well."

"I'd be mad too in that situation," Naruto said. "No man likes to hear he was not man enough to satisfy his partner, ya know?"

"Indeed, Uzumaki-san," Taryo said, before drawing himself up. "This is where we must part ways, Uzumaki-san. The wife is waiting for me to join her for dinner."

"I wish you a good meal," Naruto said with a grin.

"Thank you, Uzumaki-san. Have a pleasant day."

He trotted off into the dusk, and Naruto started a little at the late hour. They'd been talking from just past nine-thirty in the morning to well into the dusk. As the man disappeared around the corner, Naruto reflected on the conversation he'd just had with the old man. They'd shared stories of his missions, the old man's job, his teammates, the man's education – Naruto had always been curious what civilian education was like –, and many more subjects, most of them with a personal anecdote of his time in Team Seven.

Suddenly, Naruto stopped and paled. He swore, loudly, earning him a reproachful 'language, young man' from a few passing elderly. He had, over the course of nine hours, revealed his teammate's general personalities, their strengths and weaknesses, the little he knew about his sensei, and what they'd been training in by way of the mission anecdotes.

What he hadn't told them was his own not-exactly-human heritage and the skills that imparted, Sasuke's family name, Sakura's MPD, and the fact that sensei had a Sharingan. The man was known as _Sharingan no Kakashi_ , however, so that didn't comfort him nearly as much as it should in light of the situation.

He had been fished for all the information he had on his team, and like a retarded idiot he'd not even noticed. It was so obvious now that he realized what had been going on how he had accomplished this. Very careful questions, using carefully-worded responses to steer the conversation just the way the man wanted to.

Without further ado, he channelled chakra to his legs and sprinted off to the hotel they were staying at, leaving naught but swirls of dust in his wake.

– – – –

Four seemingly random people converged on an old, abandoned warehouse close to the sole ninja hotel of Tanzaku Gai. A young girl wearing a dress, an old man in a formal kimono, and two nondescript men in typical ninja attire.

"Yo, Taryo," the girl said when she caught sight of the old man at the door of the warehouse. He turned around with an annoyed expression.

"Ayumu."

"You got something?"

Taryo snorted. "The Uzumaki brat was no match for my interrogation techniques."

Ayumu frowned. "We were told to not harm them. The boss will be displeased if you had to torture the Uzumaki."

"Did I say anything about physical interrogation?" Taryo snarled. "Why do you think I took the time to make this getup without any chakra?"

"I thought it was because Uzumaki were rumoured to all be high-quality sensors. Also, what happened to your hand?" she added, pointing at the bandaged appendage.

"You may have a point," Taryo said. "I figured that just striking up a conversation would be best to get the information, and wearing a chakra disguise would take away from the focus I could give to the conversation. The hand is from the sword he carries, by the way. It's locked with seals to his blood and chakra and lashes out whenever someone who isn't he touches it."

"How'd you get that out of him?" Ayumu said. "Most people don't really offer information like that unless under threat of something."

"I faked tripping, and gripped his sword's hilt to steady myself," Taryo said with a grimace. "Next thing I know, the damned thing put a spike through my hand."

"Sounds painful," Ayumu said without much empathy in her voice. "You got any further information?"

"Oh yes," Taryo said with a wide grin. "He was strangely recalcitrant in giving up details on himself, but I can give you nearly complete character profiles for his two genin teammates."

"Hah," Ayumu said. "I've got a pretty good read on that pink-haired bint that plays at being ninja too."

"Really?" a deep voice said suddenly. The pair whirled around.

"Boss!" Ayumu said happily. The boss nodded once in her direction, then snapped his fingers. Two ninja dropped down from the rafters.

"Daisuke, you first," the boss said, pointing at one of the ninja.

"As ordered, I followed Uchiha Sasuke around. The decision was made to not make contact the way Ayumu and Taryo were doing, owing to my sub-par chakra-less disguise skills and the uncertainty whether Uchiha-san had attained his clan's famed eyes yet."

"Acceptable," the boss said. "Continue."

"Uchiha Sasuke spent the entirety of the day thinking. At noon, he purchased seven tomatoes, which he ate in less than ten minutes. He did not interact with anyone the entire time, and I have a mud clone currently following him."

"Pity," the giant said. "Still, the knowledge of a favoured food is useful indeed. Ayumu?"

"Pinky's got brains," Ayumu said. "She also appears fond of seafood, Uchiha Sasuke, and books. Additionally, she's rather observant, but she seems primarily book-smart, rather than street-smart. I'm not sure if I've been made or not, but I lean towards doubting that."

"So let's assume you were," the giant said, earning a pout from the girl. "It's safer that way."

"As you say, boss," Ayumu said.

"I do," the giant said. "Anything else?"

"Loads, but nothing that's relevant to capturing her," Ayumu said.

"It's only been one day," the giant said, turning to last of them. "Taryo?"

"Konoha Cell Seven consists of Hatake Kakashi, Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke, and Uzumaki Naruto," Taryo said. "Haruno Sakura is 'scarily intelligent, and really strong when she's mad', in addition to having budding skill in genjutsu. There was talk of introducing her to the medical field after this mission. She prefers setting up a stage in combat and running circles around her targets. No known chakra elements.

"Uchiha Sasuke, the last loyal Uchiha with chakra. Unlikely to have activated his eyes, but no guarantees. Fights far more direct than his female teammate, no word on styles. Not unintelligent, but gets distracted easily by mentions of his traitorous brother. Appears to have C-rank skill in Katon jutsu, as expected of an Uchiha."

The giant raised an eyebrow. "Very good, Taryo. But there is a noticeable lack of data on your target."

"That's because the bastard was more than willing to talk about his teammates, but refused to share many details about himself," Taryo said, snarling. "All I have is that he, like the other two, has been a genin for three weeks, has hunted the Konohan relative of Ōyu about as often as we did when we were genin, and that his sword is absolutely _not to be touched_ , unless you like temporarily losing a hand," he said, waving his bandaged hand around.

"See the medic-nin about that in a minute," the giant said. "Just the sword, or also the sheath?"

"Both, according to the brat."

The giant nodded. "More than sufficient data to plan. Ayumu, get Hido. Taryo, to the medic-nin stat. Daisuke, rendez-vous with your mud clone and alert us if they're leaving."

"Ah, boss," Taryo said uncertainly. "The brat felt like Han."

"You mean he's a Jinchūriki?"

"I think so. Would make sense, with Hatake as his sensei. Only the strongest sensei would do for a weapon of Jinchūriki calibre, and there's no denying Hatake is strong."

"It would," the giant agreed. "This puts a wrench in things. The only Bijū Konoha has had access to in recent years was the Kyūbi, and nothing we have can restrain that for long."

"Can't we just take the sealing tags we have for if we ever ran into the Seven-tails and slap multiple of those on him?"

"That could work," the giant admitted. "After you visit the med-nin, go to Kenji and see if the idea holds merit. Meet back here in thirty minutes. Dismissed."

"Yes, boss," the three chorused as one, and went their own ways.

– – – –

Naruto sprinted through the streets of Tanzaku Gai towards the hotel, slowing down only to swerve around pedestrians. The rooftops here weren't really fit for ninja travel. Too many protrusions.

He saw Sasuke and Sakura outside the hotel sharing a worried expression at the same moment Kakashi-sensei came around the corner with an eye-smile on his face, his customary slump, and the equally oft-present book in his hand. Both his fellow genin were wearing worried expressions. Had they been followed as well?

"Kakashi-sensei!" he yelled. "Enemy presence!"

Kakashi's eye shot open, the slump and book disappeared instantly, and an intense aura appeared around the man. Naruto blinked a few times at the rapid transformation from lazy-looking slacker to serious nin. "Tell me more."

"Old man Taryo," Naruto said. "Fished me for information over a nine-hour period, give or take. I didn't sense any chakra from him so it took me until after the conversation to realize just how much I'd revealed."

"We'll have to work on that when we get back," Kakashi said, quietly thinking _if_ in place of _when_. He registered the expressions on the other genin. "You too?"

"Interrogated, no," Sasuke said. "Followed, yes. Some sort of invisibility jutsu."

" _Meisaigakure no jutsu_ or _Tōton no jutsu_ ," Kakashi said softly. "Much more likely the former than the latter, as the latter is developed by Jiraiya-sama. That means most likely Kusa or Iwa, Kumo a close third. Pinky?"

"Young girl by name of Ayumu," she replied dutifully. "Posed as a civilian, but was apparently able to judge for herself if I used chakra in our shopping challenge after she saw me seal up several bags I'd purchased. We went to a café after six hours or so and the inconsistencies added up. Muscles too toned for a pure civilian, stamina beyond what civilians would have, things like that."

"I see," Kakashi said. "We'll discuss more in our room. Opsec and all that."

"Understood, sensei," the three replied and followed their sensei to their room on the second floor. When Kakashi-sensei closed the door, he retrieved ink and brush and painted a seal around the doorframe.

"What's that for?" Sakura asked.

"Proximity seal. It lights up whenever someone with usable chakra enters a seven-metre circle centered around the seal. Since we're all inside when it was drawn, the seal automatically registers our chakra as accepted persons. It's sort-of risky because I don't know if the nin are within ten metres or not, but I didn't sense anyone so I think it's safe. We'll set up guard rotation during the night anyway, but this will allow us to plan without anyone knowing."

Sakura nodded her understanding at her sensei's back.

"Okay," Kakashi said once he'd finished the seal and sat down. "Naruto, what have you told him exactly?"

"Practically everything," Naruto admitted with a grimace. "The only things I didn't tell them were our family names, some of our specific jutsu, and one or two triggers."

"Definitely need interrogation resistance and recognition training," Kakashi said once again, barely loud enough to be heard by Naruto. "So we face an informed enemy. We have to assume they know where we are now, and that they have a detailed picture of what we can do. Fortunately, we know they know, but they hopefully don't know we know they know."

"So we act normally, then make a sudden break for it?" Sakura asked.

"In a nutshell, yes. We'll do one day of light training to assure the nin that we don't know they know, and then sneak off during the night, making a bee-line for Konoha. Four-watch night. Sasuke, Naruto, Sakura, myself."

"You want me to sleep here?" Sakura asked, a tone of hope in her voice even as Sasuke's face contorted slightly into a grimace.

"Yes," he said simply, ignoring the triumphant look on Sakura and the despairing look on Sasuke. If Sakura hadn't been cured of her amorous behaviour by three weeks of on-and-off training with Anko, then it was far more likely to be a genuine crush initially expressed through fangirlism than anything else. Kakashi steadfastly refused to acknowledge the possibility of Anko failing to cure someone of fangirlism.

"Let's go for dinner," Kakashi said, standing up once more. "We can talk more about this mess later."

The three genin nodded and followed after their sensei, their stomachs grumbling unhappily.

Several hours later, Naruto suppressed a yawn and stretched his chakra to its limit, trying to detect any presences that felt off. It wasn't true sensing, as that required hardly any chakra and Naruto was using quite a bit of it, but it worked. Naruto could feel every chakra signature within a hundred metres, and get a general gist of their predominant emotion. However, as he wasn't sensing so much as he was using chakra to stretch an emphatic connection everywhere, there was a major drawback. Chakra conveyed a person's emotions to those who could listen to it, but using that chakra for jutsu stripped it of its emotive qualities. So while persons could be detected even if they were using concealment jutsu like the _meisaigakure no jutsu_ since the main source of chakra was inside the jutsu-chakra shell, the moment the chakra for a jutsu left the person's immediate vicinity, only a _true_ sensor could pick it up, and Naruto was far from a true sensor just yet.

This would come back to bite Team Seven in the ass before very long.

– – – –

Daisuke landed in a clearing one hundred and fifty metres from the hotel where one Iwa nuke-nin was waiting. "They're using the third room from the left, second floor. Don't miss."

The nin scoffed. "Please, I'm the Sniper-Nin," he said. "I don't miss."

"We'll see about that, mr. sniper-nin," Daisuke said with a similar scoff.

"Oh you will," he said. "Be amazed by the accuracy of the Rock-Hard Sniper-Nin, Ōgon!"

Daisuke rolled his eyes. "Just get on with it."

"Such an ungrateful audience," Ōgon said, flying through a short sequence of handseals and then taking careful aim. It wouldn't do to not live up to his reputation. "But very well.

" **Doton: Dosekiryū**!"

The earth cracked and groaned as dirt and stone rose up from where the pair of Iwa nuke-nin stood. The collective mass of mother nature ripped out by Ōgon's chakra, a good fifty kilograms, rearranged itself to form a dragon, which sped off into the night sky at the nin's silent command. One-hundred and fifty metres later, it crashed into the apartment where Konoha Genin Cell Seven with an almight racket.

The wall crumbled under the impact, and so did most of the apartment. The hotel, amazingly enough, remained standing, but such was the prowess of Ōgon, whose claims of being a renowned Sniper-nin weren't boastful.

Daisuke and Ōgon grinned as four blurs sped into the apartment, grabbed a leaf-nin each, and sped off again. It seemed even the great Hatake Kakashi could be caught by surprise.

"Adequate," Daisuke said.

"That was more than adequate, that was awesome!" Ōgon said. "You think boss will let me have some time with that girl?"

"Doubt it," Daisuke said. "The moment he heard she was a Haruno he's been acting funny. You can always go visit that chick we obtained from Wave a few days ago, because I think the boss is keeping this one for himself."

"Greedy bastard," Ōgon grouched, slumping and kicking a loose stone away. "Always keeping the choice finds for himself."

"What can you do?" Daisuke said with a shrug. "None of us are strong enough to take the boss, which is why he's the boss."

"True," Ōgon said with a grimace, not believing that he was actually agreeing with Daisuke on something. "Let's go. Maybe we can let out some of our frustrations on Hatake-teme."

"For once, you have a good idea," Daisuke said, nodding. Without waiting for his fellow nin, he channelled chakra to his legs and sped off.

"Hey!" Ōgon yelled as he desperately tried to catch up with Daisuke. "No fair!"

– – – –

Hatake Kakashi floated through the haze of semi-consciousness until he broke free of the fog. Immediately, he wished he hadn't. In an effort to keep the enemy nin, who were surely watching as that was what he'd do if he had a group, from suspecting something, they hadn't done more than put up a guard rotation.

And now, his head pounding and his body feeling as if it was burning with cold fire, he was rather regretting that decision.

Resisting the urge to open his eye and fire off cliché questions like 'where am I?' and 'who are you?', Kakashi took stock of his current situation as best he could. He was on his knees on a concrete floor, his body held upright by chains, and his arms stretched above him, held together by ropes that were presumably fixed to the ceiling. More chains bound his ankles, and they had even gone so far as to bind his thighs so he couldn't stand up. The lack of wall indicated that he had been probably been strung up in the middle of a room, rather than against a side, to give whoever captured him full access to his body.

His hands were unbound, but despite forming a Ram seal his chakra wouldn't answer his call, indicating a Fūinjutsu tag somewhere. Seals to restrict chakra were, despite their use, not easy to make. Too heavy and the target died, too light and the target escaped, and the barrier dividing these two extremes was relatively tiny. More worryingly, these particular tags short shelf-life – weather damage affected the ink which in turn affected the tuning – meant that this band of nin had a Fūinjutsu practitioner among them, which in turn implied that they were also capable of restraining Naruto.

Least worryingly – or most, depending on his detainers – was the fact that, while his body still ached from the caved-in apartment, the presence of bandages was easily noticeable. Whoever it was didn't want him dead. Just yet, anyway.

Having gathered all the data he could with feeling, he turned to hearing. A few metres away, ragged breathing could be heard. At least one other person, and he was cautiously labelling this person as 'fellow prisoner', was in here with him.

Lastly, he turned to smell. All prisons smelled somewhat rancid, but Kakashi now realized that there were odours here beyond those of sweat, vomit, and human waste. The additional scents, those of blood, fear, despair, and death, quickly saw Kakashi's initial presupposition from 'prison cell' to 'interrogation room'.

Or to use the blunter description; 'torture chamber'.

He almost dreaded opening his eye, but he needed to know for certain what he was dealing with here. Opening his eye took a little more effort than he'd have liked, it was stuck with a gum he didn't want to know the composition of, and he noted that his hitae-ate was still in place and still covering his sharingan eye.

As expected from earlier observations, the room he was in _was_ a torture chamber – he recognized some of the metal implements from the one time he had to sit in on one of Anko's sessions – and it was made from concrete, ostensibly with sound dampening. The chamber wasn't large, at most four by five metres, but further observation was halted by the sight of the other prisoner.

Half-blond, half-crimson hair? Check. A trio of whisker marks on each cheek? Check. Sword in a sheath on his back? Check. Unlike himself, Naruto was hanging from the ceiling about a metre in front of him, and half a metre off the floor. His hands, unlike Kakashi's own, were encased in thick metal gauntlets to prevent him from making handseals of any sort. His clothing had been stripped from him from the waist up, and his chest was positively covered in sealing tags that were likely to have the same function as the tag he suspected was on himself.

"Naruto, are you alright?" Kakashi said softly.

Naruto stirred, but did little else. "'Kashi-sensei?" he slurred. "Wuz goin' on?"

"We got captured," Kakashi answered with a grimace.

"You sure did," a baritone voice agreed from behind. "You sure did, Hatake Kakashi. It was depressingly easy, truth be told. I'd expected more from a man of your calibre, but I suppose that getting caught off-guard happens even to the best of us."

Kakashi tried to look at the voice, but found that his bonds didn't allow him the necessary range of motion. "Who are you? Reveal yourself!"

It was probably stupid to make demands in such a situation, but he wasn't going to get out of this without injury anyway.

"You're in no position to make demands, Hatake Kakashi," the voice said as its owner stepped into view. "But I'll humour you regardless."

The man was large. Not just tall, but _large_. Not on-par-with-the-Akimichi large, but he was a heavy-set man with a completely shaved head – including eyebrows –, wearing standard brown shinobi apparel. Around his neck hung an Iwa-issued hitae-ate with a slash through the symbol. An Iwa nuke-nin.

Wonderful.

"Perhaps you recognize me, Hatake," the man said, leaning on a table. "Probably you don't. I know _I_ wouldn't recognize my current self fifteen years ago."

Kakashi's mind was racing, trying to figure if he had met any ninja that remotely met the description of this one.

"Perhaps this will jog your memory," the giant said, reaching into his cloak and retrieving a kunai. This was not any ordinary kunai, however. This model featured a straighter blade and two blades that stuck out orthogonally from the primary blade's base. The primary blade was further covered in intricate sealing script, which did exactly as the nin intended to. "It's not smart to leave business unfinished, Hatake."

He remembered, alright. Two weeks or so before the ill-fated mission to the Kannabi bridge, Team Minato was sent out to investigate a poisoned food supply. What they found was a team of Iwa jōnin doing the poisoning, and they fought them. They were sufficiently skilled that even Minato-sensei was forced to resort to the Hiraishin to defeat them. Two of the men were undeniably dead, their heads caved in by Rasengan, while the third had taken a Hiraishin kunai to the lung. They had assumed he died – because knives to lungs tended to be lethal – and when the poisoning stopped they figured it had been confirmation that he'd died.

But apparently he hadn't.

"I would have left it at that," the nin said, planting the kunai tip-first in the floor at Kakashi's feet. "But then your precious Kiroii Senkō had to kill my father, my sister, my brother, and my fiancée during the last battle of the Third War."

"And then," Kakashi said. "When Minato-sensei died the target of your hatred was gone, but you couldn't just let go, so you went for the next best thing; the persons he considered his children. With Obito dead during the Kannabi Bridge fiasco and Rin dead shortly after during a mission in Water Country, all you had left was me."

The giant clapped. "One thousand ryō for a successful deduction, Hatake," he said. "And, had it been up solely up to me, you would have been dead already. However, many of my crew feel much more personal about your continued existence, and want to extract some prolonged payback."

"You mean torture," Kakashi said. "How dull."

To his surprise, the giant nodded. "I quite agree. Torture is for the petty or to make a statement. This will not make a statement, but will make the men and women under my command feel better. As a wartime jōnin, you know how important morale is."

"Quite," Kakashi agreed, still surprised at the civility of the man. This Iwa nuke-nin had managed to tranfer a personal hatred against Minato-sensei – a justifiable hatred, if the man's story was anything to go by – to a semi-impersonal hatred against him. Many Iwa-nin he'd fought since the end of the Third War weren't capable of that, and attacked him as if _he_ was the one that killed their family.

The man made a few handsigns that Kakashi couldn't interpret, and a few more missing-nin entered the room, snarls on their faces as their eyes landed on him.

"Don't make the mistake of thinking that I won't greatly _enjoy_ watching you suffer, Hatake," the giant said, before turning to his men. "Take Hatake to the central chamber and the brat to my personal one," the giant ordered. "Then have fun with Hatake. Try not to damage his Sharingan eye, and try not to kill the brat while you're moving him to my chambers. I don't want to find out if the brat's death releases the Kyūbi or not."

Kakashi's eye widened at this statement while the nin saluted and roughly unshackled Naruto, then himself, placing the same thick gauntlets on his hands that Naruto was wearing. They weren't particularly bothered by the fact that the chains banged roughly into their sides. "How do you...?"

"Shut up Hatake!" one of the nin said, smacking him upside the head.

"Know about the Kyūbi?" the giant asked, ignoring the interruption. "Simple, one of my men has had exposure to Jōki noHan, and noted that this kid felt similar."

Kakashi blinked. That had actually never occurred to him. Yet another thing they'd have to find a solution for if they survived. At this point, the only thing that could save them was them tripping one of Naruto's triggers and him going on a yōki-fuelled rampage.

"Take them away," the giant ordered. As the giant left the room, the four remaining nin grinned and dragged Kakashi further into the compound, the scents of blood, despair, and death growing stronger with every step they took.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> Doton: Dosekiryū; Earth Release: Earth and Stone Dragon. Jutsu from an anime episode featuring Kosuke Maruboshi, one of the Eternal Genin.
> 
> Jōki no Han: Han of the Steam. His canon title is 'Jōki no Jinchūriki', but I felt that using the title with his name fit better.
> 
> – – – –
> 
> I initially had a (in my opinion) much better chapter, but personal stupidity with backups saw most of the chapter erased, and I had a hell of a time reconstructing the rest of the chapter, and I think it shows in the quality of the finished product.


End file.
